People who ask me a simple question and when I’ve given them my simple answer they ask me, “Really?”
People who decide to call me Jim after I’ve just introduced myself as James.
Companies that call me with an answering machine (calling machine?). Damn it, if you can’t be bothered enough to call me in person, I can’t be bothered to stop picking navel lint long enough to wait for you to get on the line!
Lissa, you could possibly be dyslexic (as I am). I like reading and writing so I can compensate as far as that goes, but numbers just baffle me. It took until I was in high school to get a diagnosis.
The MacDairmuid, my dad has a similar problem. His nickname is Dan. His real name is Danny. People insist on addressing to him or even calling him Daniel.
ShlitzGuy, after you put your tags on, take a knife and cut a big X through them. That way, if someone tried to pull them off, they have to put the puzzle back together again, and it won’t look right. I got that advice from a cop who pulled me over after my tags were stolen (I hadn’t even noticed).
And KnK, I hate the people that put the tags on crooked to be cool. Wow. Crooked tags. I’m so impressed. Can I be your girlfriend?
People regularly call me Lisa. Also, sometimes Linda or Lori.
MY NAME IS LESLIE. Is that really hard? Is that so uncommon?
Also, I play the organ at weddings all the time and I don’t really take the time to learn the ins and outs of each individual bride because once the wedding is over, I’m never going to see her again. I had one who was always calling me and saying “Hi this is Heather” and I would think…I don’t know anyone named Heather.
Also, brides who want their wedding to be “really different” then proceed to choose the same old music, therefore making their wedding exactly the same as everyone else’s.
Also, people who think that hiring a string quartet will be cheaper than paying the organist. Hello?? You are going to pay four people less than you pay one person? What planet are you on, anyway?
I also hate stupid people who pick “The Wedding Song.” Yeah, it was a great song WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN YEARS OLD! It is a stupid song. It is all one note. (E)
People who roll up on a red light, yet when it turns green they don’t go!
People who may as well drive through the red since they’ve rolled half way through the intersection already.
People who pull out so far into the intersection for a left turn that I can’t pull out to make my left turn without ramming into them.
<anything>+cell phone.
People who SLOW DOWN to one mph faster than the passee every time they pass anyone, even though there’s no reason to do so.
Lillith Fair: You’re my new best friend. I, too, know the horror of working with the musically challenged. This sort of people:
Bride: “Yeah, I want that one piece…you know, the one they play at every wedding…it goes, like, “da-DAAA-daaaa da-da-da”…my sister had it at her wedding and it’s so pretty. Do you know that one?”
Me: (giving this answer because it’s ALWAYS the answer) “You mean Claire de Lune?”
Bride: “Is that the name of it?” (she shrugs) “I don’t know the name of it. It’s really pretty. And I don’t want Here Comes the Bride. I want that trumpet song. Do you have that trumpet song?”
Me: “The trumpet voluntary?”
Bride: “I guess, whatever it’s called. Hey, do you think you could find someone who plays the trumpet to play that with you?”
Me: (knowing full well that the trumpet player will not be paid) “I think you could call around and find one, I don’t know one off the top of my head.”
Bride: "Ok, I’ll do that. Oh, yes, and I also want that song that goes “DUM da da da da da dum…”
–continue ad infinitum–
:mad:
lovelyluka, we picked out all of our wedding music ourselves, keeping a list for months so that we could have just the songs we personally love. I guess not everyone takes music as seriously as Dread Pirate Jimbo and I do. (For the record, we had Bach’s Suite No. 3 - Air as our processional, and Billy Ocean’s Suddenly as our first dance.)
featherlou: Thanks for doing your part to reduce the stress of wedding musicians. You are lovely. To be fair, I have had the other extreme, including people who have bought the print music themselves and bookmarked what they wanted, months in advance. But because they make my job so easy, they are harder to recall! 
Ahem…anyway…sorry, back to your regularly scheduled topic.
Look on the bright side. You may have been part of a study. I read a few years back that sociologists have been doing patience studies on motorists stopped behind the researcher at a green light. They time how long it takes for you to honk. They found that it takes much longer for a driver beind a “nice” car to lose patience than one behind a junker.
Those wacky sociologists! What will they get up to next?
Really? I would think those with the nicers cars would get honked at much more frequently, with the idea of “Boy, look at this hoity-toidy rich bastard… GO YOU SUMBICH!”
I’m of the Boston driving persuasion. If the light turns green and I don’t see your brake lights turn off, I honk.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I don’t care that you’re changing the radio station, talking on the phone, reading the map, whatever. If you’re in the driver’s seat you should be DRIVING. That means paying attention to what’s happening outside your car, not inside.
So take off the old stickers, it’s not so difficult. I think people just don’t bother to read the instructions that come with the sticker that say exactly where you need to put the damn things.
Ace22 - Thats a fact!!
SchlitzGuy - In MI we have our license plate #'s on the stickers, so they have no value to steal for a different plate.
KnK
People who do 30 mph in a 35 zone. Just do the 5 extra fucking miles per hour, its not that fast.
Oh, yeah. It really prickles my pizza when people get all law-abiding and stuff.
People who, when leaving messages, speed up when they say thier phone number. “Okay, give me a call, fourtwothreesxfvtwsvn.” The phone number part’s when you should slow down.
As for wedding music, my wife and I processed to some music from Myst, the computer game, which I hand-edited to make it just the right length.
More on-topic: I hate it when cashiers give me my change as a stack of bills and then pour the change on top. It’s easier for them, but it’s a pain for me.
That was part of a bit by Kevin James (of King of Queens) about “phone number rhythm.”
Aha! Good reason.
[quote}The people that leave like 50 feet between them and the car in front of them at the stop light just bug me because I’m anal and I can’t see any reason for it (except to creep for the entire duration of the light, which also drives me bugeyes because I drive a standard and don’t like doing the clutch-in, clutch-out all through the light). **[/QUOTE]
Ah, then you must not live in a cold climate. Up here most intelligent and POLITE people leave a pretty large space between them and the car in front of them.
If you rearend someone, even if someone hits you and slides (on the ice and snow) you INTO the car ahead of you, you are still at fault, so most people want to make sure they’ve got a good distance between themselves and the car ahead of them.
A good rule of thumb is to make sure you can see their back tires and the pavement beneath them.
Conversely, I HATE, HATE, HATE when people pull up too close behind me at a light.
Ah, but I do live in a cold climate (Calgary, Alberta, Canada counts, right?). Sure on slippery days we leave extra space - some people do it as a matter of course, though, and I just don’t see the logic. There’s being cautious, and there’s being paranoid, careless, or just plain inept.
Wedding posters, just thought I’d share my picks. For the record, both my mom and my sister are wedding musicians, and as such, I have been dragged to approximately thirty thousand weddings. Seriously, if I hear Canon in D one more time, it’ll be too soon. If I had it at my wedding, I’d have to barf the whole way down the aisle.
Anyway, our picks are the Imperial March from Star Wars, Hallelujah from Shrek, the theme from Jurassic Park for the processionals and Brown Eyed Girl for the recessional. (No movie theme or anything, it just ended up that way.)
It never amazes me the number of people who show up at the rehearsal and say, “Can you play that Shaniah Twain song? I can hum a little bit of it if you need me to.”
You haven’t met stupid people until youve worked in a grocery store.
Everyday, this one kid comes into the store and askes the for the price of a 25 cent bag of chips. EVERY FRIGGIN DAY!!!
Hey Genius!!! IT wont change!!! Its was 25 yesterday it’ll be 25 today! If inflation somehow affects your Cheez Doodles, I’ll tell you!
GEEZ!