I’ll bet Ken Feld is stoked, though! Getting “the finger” from Ingrid one last time!
C’mon…it’s obvious that point (c) is meant as an homage to A Christmas Story – just in time for the holiday season!
I’m mostly curious how much of it is legal. There are rules about disposing of human remains. People get in trouble when bodies are found in their apartments, after all.
Is it legal to ship organs to France? Canada?
Ingrid is truly a selfless woman and she has inspired me. I’ve just decided that when I die, I will have my body chopped up into small parts and fed to hungry laboratory animals. That’s the least I can do to make up for all the animals I have eaten and worn throughout my life. You know, pay back time.
I feel better about myself already. More later…I’ve got to go baste the turkey.
Yeah, Point C is a little weird even by the rest of the document’s standard. In memory of elephant-foot umbrella stands? The text seems to hint that Newkirk doesn’t think they do that in India anymore. Is there even a market for elephant-foot umbrella stands anymore? Hell, is there a market for umbrella stands anymore, period? (Actually I think they still make such stands in south Africa, where they have more elephants than they know what to do with; but I’m surprised that Ingrid Newkirk doesn’t have a more clearly articulated position on the matter.)
In any case, it seems more than a bit unfocused to be targeting activism against practices which occurred during the Nehru administration. This is just one more indication that Ingrid Newkirk wasn’t particularly engaged by this project. If historical practices are fair game, then it opens up the field for so many other uses of animal products that could be denounced in this manner. Why isn’t she decreeing that her bodily fats be rendered, in protest against tallow candles or whale oil lamps? Shouldn’t her central nervous system be dissected, as a condemnation of the medieval practice of harvesting toads’ brains for the alchemically potent stone found within?*
Hell, she could have her nose hairs extracted to protest rhino-horn poaching! That’s going on right now! And she wouldn’t even have to wait until after she dies! Would you want to continue poaching the endangered black rhino if you thought there was a chance Ingrid Newkirk would mail you an envelope full of nose hairs?
She could have her hair woven into an attractive cardigan to protest llama ranching! She could craft her fingernail clippings and bodily secretions into potent Chinese aphrodisiacs! She could mail her middle finger to Madagascar to protest the ongoing slaughter of the elusive Aye-Aye!
How many other uses can YOU think of for parts of Ingrid Newkirk’s body? Make a list! Discuss.
*Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head
–Shakespeare: As You Like It, Act II Scene 1
She’s nuttier than squirrelshit!
No plans for her genitalia>
I plan for mine to be tanned and used in a series of porno films after I die.
Not to mention Ilse Koch.
Seriously, that bit with sending severed ears in the mail is so…19th century (somebody once sent a severed ear to novelist Harriet Beecher Stowe, and there’s that Sherlock Holmes story ‘The Cardboard Box’). But I digress.
Other organ disbursement suggestions - they should send her gallbladder to the Guinness people; it’s gotta be the biggest on record, as she has way more than her quota of gall.
Anyone else think that in the wrong light, Ingrid Newkirk looks kinda like Greta Van Susteren?
I found this link today courtesy of b3ta and figured this was good timing to share:
It’s a parody of a DS cooking game. Strangely enough, it’s actually kinda fun to play once.
@Autolycus: Hi, fellow b3tard!
[/hijack]