Tall buildings, missiles, fast cars, suv’s, and neck ties are phallic symbols.
Males that are not part of a group that possess phallic symbols will experience the emotion of envy.
The above envious males will destroy, or attempt to destroy, phallic symbols.
The above envious males will guard their females from viewing phallic symbols in order to prevent themselves from experiencing the emotions of shame and jealousy.
Conclusions:
Capitalism creates phallic symbols.
Capitalism creates wars.
Solutions:
Pee Circle—An anthropologist (studying envy) observed a tribe that had a solution for envy. Whenever the male tribe members would go on a hunt, the male that killed the largest game (phallic symbol) that day would attract (more than their equal share) admiring attention from the females. To counter this attention, the males would form a pee circle around the alpha male of the day, and urinate on him, while the females observed. Would it be a good idea if George agreed to be in the middle of the pee circle, surrounded by Ben and his company of envious males.
I question the validity of all your premises. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to destroy the Washington Monument and cut up people’s neckties so that my women don’t see them.
Also, on a more serious note, how exactly are sport utility vehicles phallic symbols? You are aware that phallic symbols require that they be shaped similar to a penis, right?
Does anyone remember that SUV commercial from lasy year-ish? The most ejaculatory commercial of all time? It was thie SUV driving through this geyser-filled area, and the geysers kept shooting upward every time the car drove by. And the tag line was something so insipid, like, “The SUV so fantastic that nature sings its praises!”
I was reading about Freud once, and I seem to recall him saying that a man’s dress-necktie, plus collared shirt and jacket was supposed to represent the female genitalia.
Who knows?
I could look it up, although I can’t remember WHERE I read it.
But wait a minute. Those vaguely breast-shaped flying saucer things the aliens go around in fly very well. Maybe the aliens are represntatives of the Mother Goddess trying to get a little of Her own back.
