Phantom flogger is foodie favorite!

This story

Went national and the mystery masturbator

was identified as the head chef of a raw food establishment

Hope he’s washing those hands!

I’ll say. You’re liable to get it chopped right off in there!

Geez, if they’ve misidentified the guy, they’re in for a world of hurt.

I’m guessing that Mr. Hoyt more closely resembles the furtive fiddler in the flesh than the piccy on their website does. Maybe it’s an old picture from when he was more fresh-faced.

At the very least, they’re going to have to update their copy. The husband-and-wife team “realized they had a viable business at their fingertips,” indeed. :smack:

O.K. first of all, just so we’re clear, I think it is very very wrong to jerk off in public particularly to make a show of it and most especially while directing your attention to a real live stranger and particularly most especially while that real live stranger is sharing an enclosed space (subway car) from which s/he can not simply choose to depart at leisure.

O.K., we got that? bienville thinks that the public mastrubator is the bad guy in this situation. Bad. Bad. Bad.

That said . . .

. . . anyone else think “victim” and “traumatized” are pretty strong words to use in this situation?

Trauma? Really? Trauma? I would think that living in NYC and commuting regularly on the subway might lead an individual to develop a slightly thicker skin. This is really a situation where you can get up and walk to the other end of the car (which the woman described as not completely empty- ergo somewhat empty with plenty of empty seats).

“But, bienville, why should she be put in that situation to begin with? Why should she be made to feel uncomfortable and unsafe? We all have the right to be able to go about our daily routine without being faced with sicko perverts!”

Agreed! Again: public mastrubator = bad guy

We should all be able to live our lives without having to face sicko perverts.

I’m just saying that if this indeed is enough to cause a person “trauma” then that person is in for a whole hell of a lot of trauma in life. Deserve the trauma? Of course not. But, yeah, those of us who can say “Put your cock away, asshole”, then walk to the other end of the car happen to be a lot better off in the long run.

I personally use public transportation quite a bit. If I was given the choice to share a subway car with:
[li]A Public Mastrubator[/li][li]A Moaning, Muttering, Schizophrenic[/li][li]A “Hellfire and Brimstone” Subway Evangelist[/li][/list]
I would choose the public mastrubator without a second thought. At least the Public Mastrubator is gonna be quiet.

In fact, if someone devised a system that would bring an end to Subway Evangelism but to do so would guarantee that I would encounter a Public Mastrubator every single time I ever boarded a bus or subway car ever again for my entire life, I would say “Halleluiah! Bring on the Mastrubators!”

Am I a “victim” of the Subway Evangelist?

Can’t we reserve the word “victim” for people upon whom harm has been afflicted"?


I see you haven’t ridden the subway much.

Muttering, moaning schizophrenics are pretty much par for the course. They typically don’t aim their affliction at anybody. “Subway evangelists” (whom I’ve never run across) would be drowned out by the clattering and roar of the train. And both are more hygienic than weenie waggers.

Not challenging your preference, but if you think they would be “drowned out by the clattering and roar of the train” then I do not doubt your claim to have never run across them. They’re really the worst form of noise pollution and are often verbally abusive.

Kudos. Love the allitteration. Priceless.

As a male, I can’t know how women truly find a situation like this, but yeah, it seems like her reaction was a little strong. Accusing the guy of being a rapist? Geez, overreact much? Sounds like this chick is going to need years and years of expensive therapy, and maybe a few theraputic trips to Bloomingdales.

I also have a strong objection to internet vigilantism. What happens if one of her readers sees a guy that looks sort of like this pervert? What if, as a result of this public shaming, someone beats or kills this guy? These things tend not to go as planned.

Reminds me of this story.

No, they’re not. I’ve had some stick to me like gum and pester me about my beliefs. Those people suck. But yeah, at least I only felt like I needed a shower afterwards.

Actually, Jackmannii, I’m wondering if you’re the one who’s not been using the subway much. More accurately, I suspect you’re only using it during rush-hour. More power to you, if you can.

First - for background - I spent about a year living in Jersey City, and commuting via the subway to work, in Queens.

During that time, there were weeks, when I’d be able to tell the time by the arrival of the ‘Subway Evangelist’ who would invade my car on the N train just under 42nd street. Every effing night. Granted, I was working rotating shifts, and preferred working the second shift. So I’d be heading home about midnight to one, not during rush hour. However, this guy showed up every night for months. Same spiel, same claims, and if you dared disagree with him he went from slightly pathetic to aggressive and scary in about 2 seconds, flat.

By no means was this ahem gentleman the only member of his tribe I’d encountered, but simply the most aggrivating I can recall 7 years after the fact.

The only problem I’d had with bienville’s categorization is that, in my experience, the difference between the listed categories 2 and 3 was not a clear, well-defined wall, rather a mushy sort of border, much like the difference between quagmire and muck.

YMMV, of course.

I disagree completely. I ride the trains every day for about two hours.

Subway evangelists are by far the most pernicious of the tunnel dwellers. They are lamentably not drowned out by the roar of the train.

Muttering schizophrenics and crack ragers tend to move around quite a bit on the trains. I have lived in NYC for most of my life and have taken the train at all hours; I have rarely experienced a fetid mutterer for more than a few minutes at a time. Usually they just pass around a cup and move on.

Evangelists, on the other hand, will not quit the train until their sermons are complete. I have been subjected to fire and brimstone for the entire length of Manhattan several times over. Mutterers mutter quietly; evangelists share the Good News at the top of their lungs. If I had to observe a public masterbator and listen to the “I’m broke, it’s no joke” drummer every fucking day during rush hour if the evangelists could be purged, I would submit gratefully.

I would gladly let the drummer flay my ass to make a new drumhead if it would get rid of the GLORY HALLELUJAH man.

“Try the cod roe, fresh from my cods”

Yeah, I know roe is eggs, I just can’t can’t get the image of this guy “whipping something up” for an attractive female patron.

I stand corrected on subway preachers. They must have sprouted like mushrooms since my days of regular subway riding.

However I don’t think one can equate the annoyance posed by such people with the level of threat experienced by a woman on a nearly empty subway car who has been targeted by an exposer. The common generalization is that such pervs are harmless; while this may be true in most cases, exposers have also gone on to higher levels of thrills including serial rape and murder.

Try googling on the names Randall Woodfield and Fred Coe for more details.

And to think that cops searching for terrorists didn’t catch this guy…

Based on the story below it’s quite unlikely he was “misidentified”.

Subway flasher in '94 rap?

I’m female, in NYC, and I’m going to third (fourth?) the motion that an increase in subway masturbators is a small price to pay for purging the (really, really loud) Evangelists. On the plus side, most of the preachers in the areas that I ride speak Spanish, and I don’t.

Old story: back in '93 or so, I was on the subway in the late evening with a couple of other college-age women. The car was about half full. A man across the car from us starts jacking off while grimacing wildly. He was in loose sweat pants and fully covered, but very obvious about what he was doing and the grimaces were pretty wierd. Most of us thought it was pretty funny, but one girl was getting a bit freaked out. My friend started yelling at him “Get off the train! Get off the train!”. Pretty soon, the entire car took it up as a chant. The guy turned bright red and frantic-looking and got off the train at the next stop. This was all pretty funny, but then he took it to a whole new level. As soon as the doors had closed, he pulls out of his pants and showed us…

…a sloppily-lettered cardboard sign saying “I’m sorry. I’m a complusive masturbator. Sorry. Please help me. Sorry.” And he sat in a corner looking sad.



The wha?

Yeah. All this talk of “violation”, to me, weakens the word when it’s used in more appropriate circumstances. This is a sort of sexual assault, but not one on par with fondling or rape. Yeah, it’s gross, it’s inappropriate, but Christ - turn away and grab something pointy in case he decides to go further. As long as he keeps his hands to himself, you’ll survive unscathed.

Shouty schizophrenics (well, shouty crazy folks. I’m not sure exactly what mental disorders I run into on the bus.) are worse than muttery ones. I really hate the shouty schizos. But I’ll take any other bother over the person who appears to suffer from some mental disorder, but you can’t quite figure out what, who insists on making uncomfortable conversation with you all the way across town. Some of them seem to be developmentally delayed; one woman who I see fairly frequently is clearly intelligent but has pressured speech and an odd verbal tic in which she repeats words or synonyms, as if she can’t quite find the right word. “Twice, two times, twice” and “hassling, heckling, harassing” are examples I remember.

Actually, she’s fairly entertaining. And she talks so fast that you don’t actually have to respond or anything. But the half-hour long uncomfortable conversations - I don’t enjoy those one bit. In fact, I’ve taken to telling folks that I don’t speak English if they talk to me on the bus. I’ll take a public masturbator over one of those conversations any day, so long as he’s not sitting right next to anyone.

I wonder what he meant, exactly, by “help”. Like in case his wrist got tired, he wants someone to lend a “hand”?

Pretty much my reaction, too.

Now, far be it from me to assign the worst possible motive to such a fine, upstanding member erm of the community, but I got the distinct impression that he displayed that pathetic little sign because lessened the chances of someone calling the cops/beating him up. I don’t know of any mental disorders that (a) compel someone to beat off publically, (b) while still leaving them aware of the shame involved, and (c) are not treatable. But, who knows?


P.S. I did run in to him again several months later, still beating off. Ignored him completely.