Philosophical questions too moronic for GD

As always, feel free to both answer, and submit your own questions.


Does God grade on the curve? For example, if I’m a total scumbag, am I making it easier for you, the morally middling, to get in? Can we, collectively, drag down the entrance requirements, so to speak? Should we, perhaps?

My question is to believers of the Christian stripe:

Say you die and wake up in the afterlife. Jesus greets you right away, alleviating any doubts about where you are. And yet something is troubling you.

“Hey, Jesus. What’s that screaming? It sounds like it’s coming from downstairs.”

“Oh, that? That’s the billions of heathens burning in hell. Isn’t it a lovely sound?”

“Um…It’s just…all that wailing is kind of sad, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I suppose it could be seen that way. But what do you want me to do about it?”

“There must something you can do to ease their suffering. I know they are heathens, but surely they deserve mercy and grace. At least the ones who didn’t hurt anyone. And I think I can hear my brother down there. Yes! I can hearing him calling my name. I know he didn’t go to church, but he’s a good man. Most of them are. I don’t think I can enjoy my stay here knowing they’re in so much pain.”

“Those poor souls will be forever grateful to you. Yo, Peter! Open the gates to hell! And while you’re out it, set an extra billion trillion places at the dinner table. We’re gonna have a party tonight! And our new angel here is going to be the guest of honor!”

If this was the final test of Christian loving-kindness, how many Christians would pass it?

If failure of this test resulted in you going to hell, would you feel ripped off? Or would you understand?

May I point out that neither of the previous posts have anything to do with the way most Christians think?

They also seem to be about Theology, not Philosophy.

That’d be like, if you were invited to a wedding reception, and you RSVP’ed that you weren’t coming and went around to the other people who were invited trying to get them to do the same, in hopes that the bride and groom would reduce the entry fee in order to get more people to attend.

Jesus is like: “Dude, there is no entry fee. I’ve already paid for everything!”

Have you ever looked at your hand? I mean, really looked at it?

IIRC, there was some old-time (say, 1700s?) hellfire and brimstone type who wrote about the great joy he would take in heaven, listening to the screams of the damned in hell. Nice chap. :eek:

I’ve heard this view directly from a few of the Westboro folk, including a hope that God will let them personally torment the damned.

And as I always say about the WBC folks: if you worship a divine figure of hate, spread misery and discord wherever you go and enjoy the thought of an eternity tormenting sinners, maybe the Biblical entity you’re following isn’t Jesus…

Still, the WBC and some old-timey chap do not represent the way most Christians think.

Probably Jonathan Edwards. He was the “Sinners in the hands of an Angry God” dude, but you can find the idea of the saints in heaven seeing and enjoying the torments of the damned in Aquinas, Augustine, Tertullian and others.

If all are ignorant, who will fight it?

C.S. Lewis said “the doors to hell are locked on the inside”. That makes sense to me.


Given the title of the thread I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

My standard response to any Christian that asks me “What if I’m wrong?” (about being an Atheist) is: If God is grading on a curve, I’m not sweating it.

If earth is but a tiny grain of sand in the universe, isn’t it possible that a tiny grain of sand on earth could be a planet?

Didn’t Dr. Seuss already cover that one?

  1. Which is worse-eating a carnivore, or eating a vegetarian?
  2. When angels dance on the head of a pin, what music are they dancing to?
  3. If Ragnarök and Judgment Day happen at the same time, which one should you watch live versus Tivoing?
  4. If God were dyslexic what breed would He be?

Would it be o.k. to sleep around if that was the only way to apply a cure for AIDS?

What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us?

Don’t try using this excuse with your SO. Trust me it doesn’t work :frowning:

As for my question:
For those who have a traditional view of heaven where everyone’s loved ones are waiting for them, what if your loved ones don’t want to see you.

For example suppose there was this guy who was a good christian who fell in love with this girl in his bible study class such that heaven wouldn’t be complete without her in it.

She, on the other hand, she thought he was a nice guy but just wasn’t into him and also found him kind of annoying to have around. So a heaven spent with him would be not so great.

They die in a car crash on their way to church, do they see each other in heaven?