I probably have the details wrong on this. :smack:
In Cincinnati, Ohio, there’s a nice park (Sawyer Point, maybe) by the river. The planners got so accustomed to hearing the project will never happen, that the finished park has a sculpture of flying pigs. Cincinnati does have a background of pork packing and fine German-American sausage, but I’m pretty sure the golden winged pigs come from, “that’ll happen when pigs fly.”
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone]
It sounds like a spin on an old Scottish proverb:
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride
If turnips were swords, I would wear it by my side.
And ifs and ands were pots and pans
There would be no work for tinkers.
My grandma used to respond to unreasonable childhood demands with: “If wishes were horses!”, in her heavy Scotch accent, when I was little as an abbreviated form of the first line “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”
I always understood it to mean: “Well, you can’t always get what you want.” Or “Too bad life isn’t so easy that you got everything you wished for.” Or more accurate to grandma’s tone of voice: “Sucks to be you.”
I don’t think the pigs version works as well because it suggests the pigs would want to fly.
[/QUOTE]
I always understood it to mean basically “everyone has a wish, why do you think YOURS is so special?”
Anyway I thought of a few I hate and all are my-band-director-isms:
“Don’t ask questions just know the answer”
Thanks? I’m still not sure if he means this when he says it, or what he’s responding to, he’ll just generally say it to the group with no provocation. And it’s not like he minds when we ask questions.
“You get what you give.” Look, the meaning behind it is fine you put work in, you get results. But this has been spit at me so many times in the past four years it almost sends me into as much fury as the word guesstimate.
I don’t know why, but I use this all the goddamn time on message boards (never really use it inconversation) and it pisses me off. I have to preview and change my post so many times because I’ll even use it in random places that make no sense.
Hate - That is what “John Doe brings to the table.”
Like - gag me. as in when someone says, that’s what John Doe brings to the table.
My response “oh gag me.” Sometimes “gag me with a spoon.”
And I really don’t like it when I read Internet short hand. Lemme, dunno, whatcha doin.
To me that’s verbal. I’ll shorthand it when I read it. Don’t do it for me.
It always makes think of the great camp classic “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane”
“Butcha ar Blanch, ya ar in that chair”
"Mission statement " - this phrase pushes me straight to boiling point.
“My bad” is really irritating.
I actually like the if pigs had wings saying - I first heard it from a friend in high school, and got a real kick from discovering a shop with that name in Edmonton years later.
This will raise my blood pressure immediately:
**“The reality of the situation is…” **
Yeah, right. In other words, “My version of reality is…”
I’m also getting tired of “The perfect storm of” this, that and the other.
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
I think you’re misinterpreting the phrase. “There but by the grace of god go [blank]” doesn’t mean that [blank] is superior. It means that [blank] is at best equivalent and at worse inferior to the person undergoing an unpleasant situation, and only luck or providence has kept [blank] out of the clink thus far.
[/QUOTE]
Then say luck or providence or fortune. But if you say grace of God, the implication is that you have God’s grace and the other person doesn’t and who are we to judge others, even if it’s just a colloquialism?
At the end of the day, the reality of the situation is that it is what it is. So let’s all do some thinking outside the box, push the envelope and see if we can’t get those pigs to fly. There’s no ‘I’ in team, folks, such is life. So let’s get the ball rolling and rock and roll!
If ifs and buts were wishes and sluts, I’d be a happy man.
[QUOTE=Chimera]
At the end of the day, the reality of the situation is that it is what it is. So let’s all do some thinking outside the box, push the envelope and see if we can’t get those pigs to fly. There’s no ‘I’ in team, folks, such is life. So let’s get the ball rolling and rock and roll!
If ifs and buts were wishes and sluts, I’d be a happy man.
[/QUOTE]
I think we’re sharing the same bathwater here. As long as we all continue to give 110% and keep pulling punches then we’ll show that you’re either with us or you’re against us. Oh, my bad, that phrase isn’t very popular is it?
I’ve also heard “If frogs had wings, they wouldn’t bump their ass when they hop.”
“It’s all good” has been pissing me off for years.
I like “green as the peestains in an Irishman’s underwear” but rarely get to use it. I think it came from a Stephen King story.
I hate “PWNED” with a passion. Ditto for all the cutesy text-speak LOL, ROFL, OMG, etc. And no list like this would be complete without “I could care less”. Also silly girl sportscaster things like “the bags are juiced” rather than “the bases are loaded.”
I like “as dark as your pocket” as my grandmother would describe a dark night.
Also like “hotter than a two-peckered billygoat” and “you can put your shoes in the oven, but that don’t make them biscuits.”
I find the new hip trend of referring to money as “coin” to be fairly irritating.
“On the same page.” Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I’m with “bump.”
I had a friend roar when I said, “Satan’s fury would have nothing on me!” She loved it. I don’t know where I heard it first. Probably here.
[QUOTE=wheresgeorge04]
The next time I get a note from my boss saying that “This thing needs fixed and the other thing needs cleaned,” instead of “This thing needs to be fixed and the other thing needs to be cleaned,” I’m gonna snap…
[/QUOTE]
Huh. I’ve been saying that my whole life and never really thought about it being wrong. My whole family says it also. No one has ever corrected me and I work with some really smart folks. Maybe they’re afraid of me…
My mother’s family is from the Pittsburg area but my dad’s family is from Iowa and I was raised in Indiana so go figure.
[QUOTE=vivalostwages]
“Team player” and “There is no ‘I’ in ‘team.’”
Shaddap already.
[/QUOTE]
Well there may be no “I” in “Team” but there’s no I in “Lose” either. However there is an “I” in both “Win” and “Victory”.
My favorite came home from my brother on his first leave from boot camp in the Marines: “I’ve seen a lot of things in my day, hell, I’ve even seen a monkey fuck a football, but I’ve never seen some shit like that”.
[QUOTE=Silver Tyger Girl]
I HATE ‘it is what it is’ My sister uses it all the time. GRRARRGGGHH.
my husband says this at least once every day, drives me out of my mind.
Hate:
Baby-daddy/mommy
‘chunk it (to me/out the window)’ as in toss. This seems to be popular with kids in the South.
irregardless.
love: cool beans & sweetcorn
gag me with a barbie doll and make me puke up ken
I shall name him squishy
This is my life and I get a steering wheel on my rollercoaster if I want!
If trees could walk they'd be fenced in.[QUOTE=Cluricaun]
Well there may be no “I” in “Team” but there’s no I in “Lose” either. However there is an “I” in both “Win” and “Victory”.
[/QUOTE]
And in “Idiot.”
Boss wasn’t real happy when I mentioned that at a meeting…
Just thought of two more I don’t like: “hit that” and “life’s not fair”.
In other news I should probably stay away from phall0106 and lobstermobster.
For some reason I don’t like “It’s all about . . .” or, even worse, “I’m all about . . .”. The meaning is clear and all that - it just bugs me, and it’s quite common on those decorating/home improvement shows that I watch, and also with sportscasters.
Gee, who knew *their * commentary would be inane?
[QUOTE=Jragon]
I always understood it to mean basically “everyone has a wish, why do you think YOURS is so special?”
[/QUOTE]
Yes, that’s it! Only you explained it far better than me.
Only Grandma’s tone was more “Well, boo-fucking-hoo!”
(Which sounds like she was a mean old hag, but really she was a sweetheart with a devilish sense of humour. To this day, she is the only person I’ve ever met who can be sarcastic in a way that makes you laugh so hard you poot.)