Picking a Pre-School

Long, boring story to follow. If you’re not interested in kids or private schools, move on.

I just found out that eldest daughter was accepted to the second most prestigious private pre-school in town. Total enrolment for her age: one class, 12 kids, siblings of current students and parishioners get first crack (we’re neither). This school goes from 3-year old pre-K up to the 8th grade (roughly 13 years old for non-US Dopers). Princess Nrd is 3 and our plan was to keep her in this school all the way through, at which time she’d go to a private high school. (As an aside, I have absolutely nothing against public school, Mrs. Nrd and I both went to public schools, and both think that we received wonderful educations in very safe environments. However, neither of us grew up in this city. The city school district here is atrocious.)

This is a pretty big deal for us as we were told at the parents’ informational meeting last December that Princess Nrd would be at a disadvantage as, having been with a nanny, she might not be the type of child they’re looking for (the message was that kids with nannies generally aren’t socialized enough to be accepted to this school). This was a huge blow to us as we had just finished a tour of the school and were very impressed with the facilities, the teachers, and most of all the students. After the meeting we resigned ourselves to the likelihood that she wouldn’t get in, but decided to go ahead with the evaluation in February as we had already paid the $150 evaluation fee. On evaluation day, Princess Nrd was on her game, and kicked ass at the evaluation. Those with kids will know what I mean. Sometimes the kids are listless and blah, and other days they are ready to change the world, and could sell ice to the Inuit (Yes, I’m talking about a 3 year old). Princess Nrd was definitely the second on evaluation day.

About a week ago we got a letter from the school saying that Princess Nrd had been waitlisted. No surprise we thought given the number of people who were there on evaluation day and who already knew the admissions director (suggesting they were probably parishioners). Well, of course, today we get a call from the admissions director offering Princess Nrd a spot.

We’re not sending her. Tuition for 05-06: $5,675 plus an additional $1,000 “new student fee.” That’s for 4 hours a day.

If she stayed ‘till kindergarten, tuition goes up to $8,725 (as of today, lord knows what it would be by the time she got there).

It’s not just the money. We could pay the tuition, but there are other issues as well. First, the school is so whitewashed. I think we saw a total of two black kids on our visit, no Hispanics or Asians that I can remember. We’re white ourselves, and just don’t think that a 99% Caucasian school would give our daughters a very good preparation for real life. Second, the school is not geographically convenient. We would have to drive half way across the city to drop her off in the morning.

After the parents’ meeting in December, we enrolled Princess Nrd in a preschool that is affiliated with, and located within, the city’s science and technology museum. Current tuition - $2,610. She gets to do really cool things there. She’s been to the planetarium twice, the city arboretum twice and on Friday brought home a caterpillar in a plastic container. They are studying insects, and so they are all raising caterpillars into butterflies. She has informed me that we are waiting for the caterpillar to form a chrysalis. I’m impressed. Whatever happened to “Cocoon?”

Princess Nrd. will stay in this school until kindergarten, by which time we’ll have moved to one of the suburbs, and she’ll be off to public school. In the meantime, why do I feel like we’re making a mistake not sending her to the other school? I feel like we’re missing an opportunity.

Well, on the upside, we probably just made some family very happy. Their kid just moved from the waitlist and took the spot that was first offered to Princess Nrd. Congratulations kid.

Honestly, I think your daughter is better off.

Sometimes it’s easy for us to get caught up in the whole rush of having the biggest or the best, but often it’s the smaller things that offer the best opportunities. It sounds like your daughter is doing great at the museum program and I would keep her there.

T thought this thread was going to be about how to pick a preschool.
Anyway, I agree with DiosaBellisima.
In terms of why you have that nagging making a mistake feeling, perhaps you wonder how your daughter would have done in the second most prestigious private preschool.
If you don’t mind moving to the suburbs (will the 'burbs be diverse?), I guess everybody wins here.
Isn’t the chrysalis is enclosed in the cocoon?

You’re right of course, part of the desire to put her in the new school was a “keeping up with the Jonses” mentality.

It’s hard when it comes to your kids though. You always want the best, and its had to turn down something that might be better. From a facilities standpoint, the new school is head and shoulders above the current school, but I doubt that Princess Nrd is aware of that.

rpinrd you bring up a great point- she probably doesn’t even notice the difference.

For what it’s worth: upon entering high school, I was set to go to the nicest, newest school in town- the good part of town; I also could have gone to any of the private schools. I made a decision to go to the “worst” school in town (in the bad part of town, “gangs”, “drugs”, etc) because it actually had one of the best engineering programs in the state. I turned out just fine, arguably better then those who went to the nicer school they are stuck up, annoying jerks who are SHOCKED that I actually have black and mexican friends!.

I really do think you’ve done the best thing. And hey- your daughter seems happy!

I think you are making the right decision and I agree with your reasons ( lack of mixed up races) and well, pfahhhhh, the money. Oh.The.Money. (Any spare change you can send to me via paypal :cool: )

It will take you a bit to adjust your line of thinking. You need time to grieve, as it were, over What You Had Planned to The Way Things Are.

Our Co-Op preschool is a very modest $90 a month. And the teacher is superbly excellent and the parents are a great group of people. I am in my final year there and will miss the precise organization of the teacher telling us in advance what subjects are coming up and when so we can help prep our Wonder Kids.