I saw also that Hippie looked this way and that way, as if he would run; yet he stood still, because, as I perceived, he could not tell which way to go. I looked then and saw a man named Candyman coming to him and asked, “Wherefore dost thou cry?” He answered, “Sir, I perceive that if I remain in the City of Squaresville, my trip shall ever be but a total bummer.”
Then said Candyman, “If this be thy condition, why standest thou still?” He answered, “Because I know not whither to go.”
Then Candyman gave him a parchment roll, stuffed with the finest green and sticky herbage, and he said, “Take thou, and smoke.”
Hippie therefore smoked it, and looking up on Candyman very carefully, said, “Whither must I fly?” Then said Candyman, “Do you see yonder wicker-gate?” Hippie said, “No.” Then said the other, “Do you see yonder shining light?” Hippie said, “No, but I do perceive it is a most beautiful and interesting wall, and I could sit here for hours in contemplation of it. Tell me, dear friend, hast thou aught to eat?”
Candyman gave a sigh and gave him an other parchment roll, soaked most thoroughly with Owsley’s Finest, and he said, “Eat of this not, but let it rest upon thy tongue for some little while; and for the nonce resist thy munchies, for to eat would be a waste, as thou art on the point of losing even what thou ate for breakfast.” And it was so. But when Hippie rose from his knees and wiped his mouth, Candyman asked of him again, “Do you see the wicker-gate, and yonder shining light?” And Hippie’s face shone with celestial light, and pupils of his eyes were the size of farthings, and he answered, “Yea verily I do see it, for it shineth in the groovalicious glow of the purple ether-molasses!”
And Candyman said, “Go out that gate, for it shall set thee on the path to the holy Freakout City! But 'ware many traps along the way, such as the Slough of Disillusionment, which may trap thee as thou comest to realize that not all the world can see the wisdom of Tuning In and Turning On and Dropping Out. 'Ware also the Valley of the Shadow of More, which shall lead thee into dependence upon a muchness of Bad Shit, and thou shalt want an ever more muchness until an end no man can see. Most of all, fear thou Yuppiedom Fair, which shall lead thee into the temptation of achievement and dedication, the which is deeply tempting, for it usually pays better. But verily, in truth the wages of work is work; and thou wilt pass every day and night in grim toil, cross-correlating the sales figures for the next day’s meeting, and thy Sacred Stash will lie in a drawer forgotten, and thy radicchio salad and cabernet sauvignon and herb-crusted rack of lamb will be as dust and ashes in thy mouth.”
And Hippie said, “I thank thee, friend Candyman. Say, hast thou ever really looked at thy hands?!”
And he would set forth through the wicket-gate upon the holy path to Freakout City, but he was distrained by the citizens who came forth from the City of Squaresville, and their names were Responsibility, and Domesticity, and Boredom, and Conformity, and Pinkness, and Sheriff Pig, and Master Workethic, and Mister Tightass-Headspace, and Squire Rulingclass. And they did roar and swear that if Hippie would not desist from his wicket and wanton Doing of His Own Thing, they should haul him before Magistrate Authority, and his ass should be in the sling. And Hippie conceived of the clever ruse of luring them all back to his pad and slipping some of Owsley’s Finest into their coffee; but Candymand laid his hand upon Hippie’s shoulder and said, "Remember thou the laws and commandments, and in particular Leary’s Law, that thou shalt not alter thy brother’s mind without thy brother’s consent . . . "