I once had a couple of cats who in the middle of the night would crawl up on top of the blanket and pin my partner down. On many occasions I would be woken in the night by cries of my partner begging to get the cats off. I had trouble believing that anyone could actually be pinned down by a couple of cats.
Well, now I have a bit of a cat infestation (I took in a near dead but very pregnant stray). Now that winter has arrived, I am using a blanket, and guess what. A couple of times in the last few days I have woken to find myself pinned down. Both times I had to thrash about and make hissing noises to get them off, and even then it took a couple of minutes to convince them to move.
So here’s the question to all you cat fanciers.
How many cats does it take to pin you down?
How long does it take to get them off?
And what do you do to encourage them to get off?
What do you call a group of house cats – a pride, a pack, a mob, etc.?
Oh, and while were on the subject of cats, how many are fans of Don Marquis?
We spent fourteen years as a one-cat household, and said cat was quite able to pin all by himself, since he was both large and extremely social; he loved to nestle in as close as possible, especially right in there on your chest under your arm, like a guy would hold a girlfriend. Sadly, we then became a no-cat household, but of course that didn’t last long. Then we were one-cat, but she was relatively polite and would only clamp down a corner of the blankets while allowing you to still move with relative freedom. A few months later we unexpectedly became two-cat, and while Cat 2 was often willing to lie beside you instead of on top of you, the two of them would clamp themselves on either side of you like guides for a monorail, and would not budge if you tried to extricate yourself (accounting for repeated dreams about being trapped in mines and similar claustrophobic things). Then, recently, we un-planned-ly became a three-cat household. Now, you’re lucky if you can find enough square footage to get yourself in the bed, let alone have any expectation of (gasp) moving in the night. For things that weigh less than ten pounds, they sure seem a lot heavier when sleeping. It seems like a joke, but it really is difficult to extricate oneself in the night for a trip to the bathroom, short of kicking your legs straight toward the ceiling with full force to send furry bodies flying, which we are just too kind-hearted to resort to.
My answers:
Just one, if he’s in the right frame of mind and weight, but three pretty much guarantees your helplessness.
Depends on how cold is it and how deeply asleep they are - they may get up relatively easily, if it’s time for them to start wreaking havoc downstairs anyway, or it may take some minutes to get yourself out.
The only guaranteed method is to lift and set aside. If they’re in a cooperative move, you can wiggle around and disturb them enough to dislodge them. Other times, it may be outright impossible - sometimes your only choice is to extricate yourself from underneath while leaving the cat resolutely in place.
Don’t know for sure about a collective noun for the group, although they certainly need one. We just refer to ours as residents of the “cat farm”, so “herd” would certainly be appropriate.
I have to stop now, because the herd member currently on my lap has succeeded in putting my leg to sleep in such an extreme way that I need to start recovery efforts.
Three four-week-old kittens can effectively prevent you from moving in bed. Technically, this isn’t “pinning down” but with kittens that age, any movement results in an immediate pounce and attack, and those little teeth and claws are sharp.
Anyone who has ever slept in a bed with a kitten knows that kittens multiply in bed.