People, I implore you: WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT SORT OF TOPSY TURVY WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN when a man attacks a helpless Italian meat? And a lady meat at that?
Last night at the Brewers Game in Milwaukee, Randall Simon viciously attacked THE ITALIAN SAUSAGE during the customary fourth inning sausage race. The woman rocketed to the ground, rolling around like a giant beetle flipped onto its back.
Thank god for Good Samaritans like the Bratwurst and All American Hotdog who STOPPED racing to help this woman up.
On a serious note, Simon is actually being charged with assault, as hitting someone over the head with a bat EVEN WHILE IN COSTUME is generally looked upon as dickish.
But more importantly, not mentioned in the OP is the more egregious crime committed by the Pirates last night - they were wearing their 70s unis. Those horrid, “the light, the light!” bright yellow with black pin stripe uniforms.
All right, for once I’m not so proud to be my piratical self. I mean, if I’m going to beat a sausage, I’m not going to do it where other people can see me. C’mon, this is just common sense.
I’m sorry, but I don’t really find this all that amusing. Since when is it funny for a man to hit a woman with a baseball bat? If she wasn’t wearing the costume how funny would it be?
:rolleyes: I guess that’s why I said he’s being charged with assault and even added “ON A SERIOUS NOTE”. The guy is a dick and I said as much in my OP
It wouldn’t be funny at all if she wasn’t wearing a sausage costume, but the fact is, she was, and as such, she was a) protected from being TOO seriously hurt and b) funny looking.
I’ve just read that Simon was able to finish playing the game!
WTF? Why was that guy not summarily placed in a holding cell?
BTW – has anyone actually SEEN footage of the assault? There’s a chance the TV crew was caught napping, because I don’t think they ordinarily shoot the sausage races. But I’d like to know just how hard Simon actually hit her so that I may better understand why he was not carted off.
Pirates OF Reggie Sanders acts as though Simon barely tapped her, yet Simon’s swing is described as a “two-handed chop”. Huh?
Sure it would have been different if she wasn’t dressed as a giant Italian sausage, but then…I mean, come on – she was dressed as a giant Italian sausage!
Disclaimer: I am glad the woman was not seriously injured, Simon was a dick to do something like that, etc.
That said, that was the most entertainment I have seen at a Brewers game in years. Coming in just higher than “Oh, look – the roof is retracting.”
She was hit very lightly at the top of her costume and her most serious injury was skinned knees and an inability to get up because the center of gravity is so low on those things.
