Mucking the roof - Taking excessive care of the area that needs it least, while ignoring greater areas of need.
Stirring the pudding.
Stirring the pudding: doing something completely useless, pretend to be working to please your boss
Doing the Arizona shuffle
The retired pedestrian’s version of driving with your left turn blinker on.
Stapling the steeple.
Stapling the Steeple: Making a stand against the popular opinion of “the” church by voicing dissent in public, ALA Martin Luther.
Rocking The Board.
“Rocking The Board.” Making someone’s difficult situation even more difficult (as when someone is standing on a diving board or balance beam.)
“She was behind schedule anyway, and now they’re rocking the board on her by moving up the deadline.”
“Dancing with walnuts”
when a drag queen forgets to tuckin(tuckback?) his genitals
on based on a google add…Training Your Chihuahua
For the uninspired: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2011-02-09/
Training your Chihuahua - When a drag Queen’s . . .ahem . . . swings back into position on it’s own.
Titrating to bowel tolerance
Titrating to bowel tolerance - For the lactose-intolerant, figuring out how much cheese you can eat safely before all hell breaks loose.
Playing chess with the blind.
Playing chess with the blind–Completely getting the wrong picture from something that’s said.
“Yesterday I played chess with the blind.”
“How do you play chess with the blind?”
“It was the recording to the musical Chess, dummy.”
Upping the ante with a garden hose.
‘Upping the ante with a garden hose’ Taking an irrevocable action sure to alienate the party involved.
Asking your fiancee to have a threesome with the maid of honor really ups the ante with a garden hose.
Retiring the elephant
Retiring the elephant : Beating the old man at hoops for the first time
(see “The Grat Santini”)
Chucking the Lug Nuts
Finding out that the girl you brought home is pre-op transgenderd, and being cool with that
next: reversing the polarity
Using the same phrase over and over in an attempt to sound smart.
Next: Petting a burning dog
Trying to help someone who is too absorbed in their own issues to notice.
Next: Buying pajamas at Costco.
Buying pajamas at Costco – Purchasing something you don’t need (in this case, let’s assume you sleep in the raw) just because “the price is right” and you figure you can eventually sell the item for a profit/give it as a gift/have it available if a guest ever wants it.
Explain my actual fortune from the Chinese buffet Sunday:
“You are the mast of everything situation.”
Mast of everything situation = A scenario in which an incompetent, arrogant jackass is put in charge.
“They promoted the little dweeb to COO, and now it’s a mast of everything situation.”
The cookie was dissing you, dude.
“Stretch in the office.”
Taking an action designed to make one feel better that really doesn’t. “After Kathy and I broke up I hit the bar scene for a while to lift my spirits, but it was really just a stretch in the office.”
Double down in weasel town
Paying the inflated interest on a loan from the mob.
Scarfing the pie.
Scarfing the pie - rushing through a pleasurable act because you otherwise won’t have time for it at all.
I went to the first act of the play, but I was scarfing the pie, and had to get back to the office before it was over.
Wending toward Versaille
**Wending toward Versaille **
In danger of winning a short-term victory that will leave your enemies seeking revenge over the longer term.
having a bustle in one’s hedgerow (okay, not original, but still undefined)