When you’re so despondant that you’ve got nothing left but to drink the brine.
“Where’s Joe.”
“He’s still hurting from the divorce, he’s over at the bar drinking the brine.”
Next one: Smelling the cubicle.
A paranoid office manager.
“Where’s Joe?”
“Ahhh, he’s probably smelling the cubicles looking for pot again.”
Scratching the whiteboard.
Using permanent marker on the whiteboard.
Pastries cosmetic.
Pastries cosmetic.
Makeup that makes you look like a prostitute(a tart)
a Dolly Parton:
Something that really is quite good, but it’s commercial appearance makes people dismiss it.
“The cladding on that new chevy truck makes it look like a Tonka Toy.”
“No, no it’s really good, check out the engine and gas mileage.”
:smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack:
o:o:o:o:dubious::dubious::dubious::dubious::dubious::(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
:eek::eek::eek::eek:
:):):):mad::mad::mad::mad::p:eek::mad::mad:hhhhdhdfhdhdfhhdfhdfhfhfvhfhfhffhhhfhbghgfjgjgjhfjgghbfjfghhjfgjfgfjgjfhjggjghfjhjftess gtgygrhhyhytyhuuhhhuhghyhutuguutygyghtrugtughyutrghutygtughtugtughutghtghutghutghtugut :p;););):D:D:D:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:;);););););););):D:)
Typing with toddlers.
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Typing with toddlers: Using a lot of words to say something completely meaningless.
Sleeping with birds.
Ending up covered with shit from denying the negatives to the situation.
Mounting the brokeback.
Mounting the brokeback:
A women forcing a gay man to have sex with her (blackmail or bribe)
calling the cops.
Calling the cops - Finally taking the appropriate action to end an ongoing problem.
Ex: ‘Is mary still dating that jerkwad Steve?’
‘No, she called the cops last week.’
Cavorting with the mummy.
Getting caught up in a situation that would appear to be very scary but turns out to be quite funny ala Abbott and Costello getting caught in a pyramid.
Stripping the bark off the birch.
Making excessive preparations for revenge, in order to make the revenge hurt even more.
Wrinkling the dry cleaning.
Trying to improve on something that a professional has done, and ending up making it worse.
Weaving a Spiderman.
Coming up with reasons, no matter how contrived, why one should be altruistic and be a god-damned hero.
Scarred by a toothpick
Scarred by a toothpick - getting in trouble by not paying attention. Opposite of “look before you leap” based on eating a sandwich with toothpick still inside.
Petting the wet dog
Petting the wet dog: Trying to make someone who is down in the dumps feel better.
Next: Humping the alligator
Humping the alligator Female version of “sticking your dick in the crazy.”
Next: Wasting Trilobites
Wasting Trilobites = Making use of a hugely successful strategy that is ultimately doomed to failure and obsolescence.
Hiding Hosni
Hiding Hosni - teaching a cat to use a litter box
Starting a fire with one stick
Attempting something when you have only partial knowledge of how to do it.
Mucking the roof.