I had to read this several times before I understood what you were talking about - does that make me clueless? :eek:
When I was in college, I met a woman who had lived in Massachusetts all her life and did not know that Rhode Island was a separate state. She thought it was part of Massachusetts.
“But,” we all said. “Didn’t you ever notice that you only got to 49 states when counting them up?”
Nope.
I also met someone who, upon being told that foam can holders are to keep your beer colder, *poured a beer into one of them *to see if it worked.
Don’t feel bad. When I was a little kid I thought that my fingers were filled with cooked ground beef. It was quite awhile before I believed they weren’t.
And not just a resident, but a native-born Texan. However, even I have to admit that was exceptional for a Texan, lest people think I’m dumping too much on that benighted state again. I knew her and her boyfriend pretty well from chatting with them in the bar. They were the original models for “trailer trash.” She was a massage-parlor hooker who not only supported the boyfriend on her earnings, but she was always on the make for a new customer even when they were out together. Safe to say I would not have touched her even with someone else’s 10-foot pole.
How did you keep from eating yourself?
Yeah, seriously.
I think what kept me from gnawing my fingers was:
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The pain issue (I already was chewing my cuticles with mucho gusto by then and I knew that it hurt), so I figured actually ripping into my fingers would be really painful.
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My parents kept me pretty well fed on other stuff.
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I had a vague idea that it might disfigure my hands. Of course, I didn’t know what the word disfigure meant when I was like four, but I did know that I didn’t want my hands to look nasty.
Along the same lines, my cousin Piggy had a parakeet who had some kind of weird mental disorder and ate his own feet off. Really. So he couldn’t sit on his perch. I am not kidding. I even made up a song about it.
This is Really Really Really petty but I just can’t stand that “40 weeks is 10 months” meme.
No It’s Not! Not unless you plan to be pregnant for nine consecutive Februarys in a row! Nine months is within about a day or so of 39 weeks. 42 weeks is less than any 10 months you care to name. If you want to get within rounding distance of eleven months, you have to go nearly to 46 weeks.
Occam is telling me some of these chicks just counted their dates wrongly…
(this post brought to you by: A Twitchy Maths Geek.)
One of my ex-husbands believed some kooky things. I kind of give him a break because he was ‘run off’ from home at age 14, so he didn’t get much ‘home training’.
He thought that the female astronauts who went up on the shuttle were only going for the purpose of providing sex to the male astronauts.
My 32 year old female friend from work thought that males have some kind of bone in their…boners. To her credit, it was like a brainfart: you say something silly but correct yourself right away and laugh at your own stupidity.
My male friend and i still tease her about it! (Go go gadget…)
I didn’t want to let this magnificently weird paragraph go by without a notice. 
Actually, humans are kinda unusual in not having any bone within the penis. Most mammals do have an os penis, aka baculum. Maybe your friend was smarter than she appeared!
Cite: Baculum on wiki
My mother was convinced that all the Hispanics in our LA neighborhood were Spaniards.
Her rationale? They speak Spanish.
I wanted to point out that despite the fact that she and I and the rest of our family spoke English, we were not English. I knew this would upset her, so I never mentioned it.
I got this gem today at work, from a 34 year old female co-worker w/ 2 kids.
Server: It’s getting really windy out on the deck, I think it’s going to storm.
Me: Uh huh.
(Server then walks outside the building, to smoke a cig, [this is on the opposite side of the restaurant] then says)
Server: Huh, it’s not windy at all over here. I wonder what’s going on.
Me: Um, maybe the wind is blowing from West to East, and the building’s blocking the wind on this side of the building.
Server: Huh, you might be on to something.
:smack: :smack: :smack:
One of my older relatives, the same one who thinks Mexicans don’t get cancer, is certain she was diagnosed with arthritis of the eyes. Likely her doctor actually told her she had arteritis, an inflammation of the arteries, but she’ll never believe she was wrong. Apparently she never got much formal education (common in her generation and social class) and covers her shame by always being right, even in the face of [del]Armageddon[/del] reality. It’s difficult for me to express how maladaptive that is.
At work this past Thursday. I’m in a pt’s room and Fox News is on, but the sound is off. The visitor points to the TV screen which has a caption saying something about Florida gas giveaway. The image is of a gas station from an airborne view. Visitor says to me (and pt): “They’re giving away free gas. I bet they’ll drive down to Mexico to get the free gas! Look at that!”
I thought about the (insofar as I know) unbridged Gulf of Mexico and bit my tongue.
OK, I give up - what did Mexicans speak in her world? (And if the answer is “Mexican”, then what did it sound like?)
it **is ** possible to drive from Florida to Mexico.
This one’s from an online dating profile I just saw; it’s in response to the question “Book, movie or concert you’ve enjoyed”:
I have no words.
I happened to have the “first day” for counting purposes be in the first week of January - my due date was in October. Had I gone overdue - late October. Mathematically that may be closer to nine months than ten - from a perception standpoint - that was TEN.
(this post brought to you by someone who thinks a pregnant woman should be entitled to count months whatever the hell way she wants - and you’d have to be insanely clueless to tell her otherwise - because when you are hormonal and the approximate size of a water buffalo, and you have the pregnancy stupids, you don’t care how many days are in a month)
Well, consider my ignorance fought.
As for my friend, i’m not sure how much education she bothered absorbing (i know she did finish college), she knows practically nothing of animals (i say that only based on some of our conversations. It could very well just specific animals), and some of the things she asks about people sometimes makes you want to :dubious: , but by no means she is stupid.