I pit my head, which is jackhammering away underneath a nauseating fog of inadequate pharmaceuticals*, screwing up my birthday. 
*Disclaimer: perfectly legal, non-narcotic, no fun at all and not fucking working
I pit the Librovox volunteer with the fake scottish accent. Dear god women, do you think it sounds real? You make me cringe.
The plots are definitley not clever but I can tolerate it when my daughter wants to watch it. Billy Ray and his son or boy who plays his son remind me of Homer and Bart sometimes.
Probably needs a modern equivalent of a “tune-up.” If they haven’t been changed recently get a new air filter, fuel filter, PCV valve. Spark plugs and wires if they haven’t been changed recently.
Oh, this is the Pit. YOU SUCK FOR NOT MAINTAINING YOUR CAR! 
Fucking USPS. It was mailed AUGUST 2 and today is AUGUST 24 and I still don’t have the goddamned package. I have the receipt and delivery confirmation slip, so I know they were sent. Fuckers.
Hangovers
Cats
British Humor and the people who are into it (monty python, princess bride, red dwarf)
Indian food
When you are borrowing something from someone and they say “don’t break it! Or “don’t lose it, it belonged to my grandmother!” Either don’t loan it to me or don’t imply that I’m some sort of filthy animal that will immediately destroy something the second I get my hands on it.
When someone at work asks me to edit their abstract and really want me to tell them how good it is.
Nit picking and grammar policing
Crocs, tevas, Birkenstocks, flat gladiator style sandals, and all other unacceptably hideous shoes
People who dress little boys in tuxedos for an event
People who curse, swear and say offensive things in the public presence of children
The homeless guy on Market Street that asks people for “a few dollars” whatever happened to spare change
Strangers that bum cigarettes off of me
My addiction to cigarettes
Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Hitchhikers Guide nerds
Cowboy boots with feminine clothes like skirts or dresses
People who bring a guest to weddings when they weren’t invited with a plus 1
Girls who don’t drink beer and will only drink the silly bitch drinks (wine is not a bitch drink)
People who go clubbing
People who claim they are really really intelligent even though they aren’t “book smart” or made horrible grades. If they are so smart why didn’t they get their shit together to make good grades? And what the fuck do I care if you are “street smart” what does that even mean? Having a good coke connection?
People my same age (23) that think that because they got married they are adults now and I still am not (I’m not but not because I’m unmarried)
Country music and the fact that the 12312123234523423 country music radio station waves that went through my brain the first 18 years of my life living in Nashville probably made me crazy
Being crazy and being physically addicted to the crazy pills
Tube tops- what the FUCK
Anyone who wants to get rid of my right to evacuate my uterus at any given time
My boss for talking so motherfucking loud RIGHT IN MY FACE
People who tell me to calm down
SMILIES I have a really intense irrational hatred for those bastards. ESPECIALLY that one with the huge shit eating grin people use when they’ve said something they find adorable or clever If I ever saw someone with that face in real life I would slap them in the mouth
Anyone who spits in public
People who start questions with “this may be a dumb question but…” just grow a pair and ask
My verbal diarrhea and my inability to stop myself going ballistic in public places sometimes (you would not believe the number of cabs I’ve been kicked out of)
Ironic tshirts and hats especially those ones that say things about states “getting lucky in Kentucky” or “everyone loves an irish girl” idiots
People who think that I have no life or get too worked up about things because I wrote an insanely long response to this thread. IM HUNGOVER AT WORK and it’s Friday
Dear hair,
I love you. I really do. You are what keeps me from being bald and lets me be nice and warm in the inter. I may not treat you with the care you deserve, but you are just dead cells and all that. I damage you with hair dyes and harsh hair dryers and hard brushing, but I’m not as bad as I used to be! Remember the time I Sharpied you? Or used the blonde color that burned us both? Those years were horrible. I won’t even bring up the self haircuts.
But, you are really sucking lately. Normally you only get bad frizzy in the winter when it is dry and static-y out. Not you decide that not only will you be the size and volume of a heavy fur coat, but you will also get into my eyes and mouth at every opportunity. I got the special de-frizz cream for you. Be happy.
If you are just angry about the green, I apologize. I did not know the blue would fade in a day and then stay green for weeks. I did fix it.
Lots of love,
Fish Nya.
PS: Rest of the body- you had your cold. Your throat no longer hurts and you haven’t sneezed in a while. So stop with the stuffy/runny nose. It is not funny and I want to sleep.
I shall pit my ex who has no class whatsoever. This is proven by the fact that he just gave his current girlfriend the same engagement ring he gave me.
I pit the dummy who does National Weather Service announcements here in Georgia.
First, I have to listen to that crappy buzz-tone they play at the beginning of the announcement. It sounds like that cheap-ass Morse Code practice device I got when I was a kid and wanted to be a ham radio operator.
Then they have to play it again at the conclusion of their announcement.
But what really annoys me is that the announcement is mostly automated, with a blank space where dummy announcer is supposed to insert which areas are affected. And he always blows it.
Computer Voice says: “The National Weather Service has issued a thunderstorm warning for---------County” In which case the announcer is supposed to say “Clayton” or “Fayette”. But, he says “Clayton County”. So the announcement comes out as “Clayton County County”
It always says “County” TWICE!! ARRGGHHH.
He’s been doing it for MONTHS! He probably makes $156,000 a year for his cushy government job. Doesn’t he listen to his own announcements?
Why won’t anyone correct him?
Dear computer,
All I want to do is play some games. I know we went through some RAM issues last year, where crashes became kind of your stock-in-trade, but I thought we’d fixed it with some tasty new RAM. After all, WOW and then EQ started working for me again. Things were good.
Now? Now I can’t even get beyond the loading screen in WoW without a crash. City of Heroes might work for a few hours, then crash, or it might crash every ten minutes. I can’t even get low-cal games like Deus Ex or Psychonauts running reliably. I can boot up Dwarf Fortress and Diablo II and that’s it. And whilst both are fun, I’ve really been jonesing for some WoW of late and it’s just annoying I can’t even play the games I’ve paid good money for.
And the worst part is that we can’t reliably replicate the crashes every time. Sometimes they’ll happen regularly, sometimes I’ll get a few hours play before it all dies. So we can’t tell which part of my PC is bollocksing everything up. So I can choose - spend a whole shitload of money trying to replace/repair components in my box to try and hopefully repair the issue.
Or I could just replace it. That sounds like a good idea. But then, no. My fucking husband is baulking at us buying me a new PC. I don’t want a top of the line DX10 gaming rig. I’ve already got a monitor, mouse, keyboard and speakers. I just want a box that is marginally better than mine, that won’t crash, has a bit more RAM and has a decent power supply and fans (I think my box might be overheating, as the problems, whilst still present in the colder weather, seem to exacerbate when the temp rises). I want something that will run newer games, even if I have to turn down the specs a bit. The pricing on components locally is not great, but we could get a good box for about $1200, which would last me a few more years. I love my husband, but he’s pissing me off. He seemed all for it the other day, but when I asked him again yesterday, he suddenly became all “Awww, nah, I dunno. It’s all too expensive. If all you wanna do is play WoW, we should get you a cheap crappy box that will just run XP and you’ll be fine”.
Never mind that the reason I’m in this shit-storm at the moment is because we cheaped out on this box when it was built. Also that when we purchased HIS computer last year, he got himself a top of the line DX9 card, 19" LCD monitor, huge HD etc. etc. I’m not averse to getting a PC that will just run the games I’ve got now, but I’m kind of pissed in that I don’t want to get that PC, then have to spend more money to upgrade again sooner than if I’d spent, say, $500 more and gotten a newer PC that might have a longer lifespan.
It’s not fair, I wail. But in the end, we’re a partnership and we have joint incomes. If we’re both on opposing sides of the fence, one is going to have to capitulate. God damn.
If it’s whatever I’d like, why would I want to pit it? I don’t like to pit things I like.
Hey, it worked the first time didn’t it? Stick with what works I say!
…
This, was, brilliant.
Ah, but if he is SpazCats ex then it apparently didn’t work the first time.
I pit the moron at BK who seems to think that no ketchup means extra ketchup.
Twerp
It is TOE the line. TOE. Not tow. Back in the day…aw, hell, I don’t feel like going into it. But it’s TOE. And it means conforming, NOT working hard.
And you cannot tow a party line, either. Or toe it.
Exactly. But while I pit his classlessness, I enjoy the entertaining schaedenfreude (sp?) that I’m getting from watching him make the same mistakes over and over again.
1 your husband is pretty lucky to have a gamer chick wife.
2 if it has trouble in the heat I’d check the heat sink fins for clogs of dust and stuff, and make sure it’s still snug on the motherboard.
Did you get my extra cheese by any chance?