Mine did too. My brother and I were decidedly not the favorites.
Because you’re not giving up?
This is so hard to deal with for me. I adore our two children. But our son is grandmas’ favorite, and our daughter was grandpas’. Unfortunately, grandpa is no longer with us. I would love for our daughter to be as close to her grandma as I was with mine, but I don’t think that will ever be the case.
I’m having this problem, too. I definitely love my nephew far, far more than I love my niece. She is so used to being the center of attention, too, that I don’t even feel like she needs it but she will realize it soon enough. She is very keen to attention not being paid to her and rather jealous of her baby brother.
Now all of those traits are why she is not my favorite and why the happy baby is my favorite. She has been whiny and needy since birth and still won’t even come to me except for brief hugs, and the baby is happy anywhere and smiles all the time, whereas she whines.
I’ll do my best not to show it but it’s difficult, to be honest.
Can you keep a straight enough face and say "Why, bless your heart Mama, I’m sure you don’t mean that!?! " when mom spouts off with her ill-advised comments? and perhaps a follow up on how marvelous it will be for baby to have an auntie?
In my world-o-rama mama, I speak up about such things. Forcefully, if necessary. I love my mother and would give her the world except that she now knows that my kids = my rules. She doesn’t want to follow the rules, she doesn’t get grandchildren privileges.
I’d nip this in the bud if I were you. I can see the problem growing much bigger the longer it goes on, my sympathies.
FTR, it was much easier for me to lay down the same laws with the in-laws!
RNATB, it is always the problem children that are the favorites…
She spent her later years in a wheelchair. Someone (daughter, maybe?) was helping her use the bathroom, and she was being her normal abusive self. Her helper had had enough and just walked out, leaving her stranded in the bathroom for a couple of days.
Apparently even that didn’t help her to get it.
I’m not one to come up with snappy comebacks on my feet like that. I’m usually struck speechless, then I let my anger simmer for months and let it out on a messageboard.
And that right there is the crucial difference between you and the asshole relatives who unkindly flaunt their favoritism regardless of others’ feelings. Or the dingbat relatives like the OP’s mom who think that it’s somehow witty or cute to pretend favoritism as a way of complimenting somebody (at the expense of somebody else).
A few comebacks planned in advance might help then.
I’m sure Dopers on the Staircase will be a great help.