Its 18 friggin’ degrees out here!
No I don’t want to stand here while your computer figures out how to ask me if I want a car wash.
Tick Tock… Tick Tock…
A car wash? The squeegee is frozen into a block of ice.
Gimme my goddamn receipt and let me go.
The local Safeway has a gas station and provides discounts on gas if you spend a certain amount in the store.
Screen: Slide club card or enter phone number.
5-1-0-5-5-5-1-2-3-4
Slide credit or debit card.
Processing…
(Shivering)
Enter zip code.
Processing…
(A few minutes have passed since the start.)
Oh, sorry, your phone number is not valid because some dipshit mistyped it when entering your application info. We neglected to tell you this when you slid it through in the first place. Now please slide you club card. You will of course have to slide your credit card and enter your zip yet again.
(Cursing, fumbling in wallet.)
Gosh, I bet you folks wish you were here in New Jersey, where the driver sits in her nice warm car while one well-gloved and jacketed gas station employee does the dirty work. I never have to worry about spilled gasoline on my shoes, either. Or about who handled the pump handle last.
My MG has an interesting fuel filler location: low in back. On my first one the nozzle would hook on normally and I could walk away. This was when there was still Regular gas with the larger-diameter nozzles. I refueled Wednesday on the way home from work. I’ve found that the only way to fill the tank is to invert the nozzle. Obviously I have to be there to hold it.
It wasn’t 18º, but 36º was cool enough even with a shearling jacket since I wasn’t wearing gloves.
Oh no! We have to fill up our own gas tanks now?
This is why I love my easy pay and speedpass tags.
Thanks! It never occurred to me to have to worry about this. Now I can be skeezed out when I touch the nozzle.
Skeezy Freezy
And there’s a special place in hell for the asshat that decided the pump needed to talk to me to explain why I need the special additive to clean my fuel injectors. And the STFU button doesn’t work until I’m already completely annoyed.
Yeah, I know I can go somewhere else, but it’s otherwise the most convenient and cheapest place in town.
I hate playing twenty questions with the gas pump. Do I want a car wash? Did I pull up to the fucking car wash? I’m here at the goddamned fucking gas pump. What the hell do you think I want?
When it’s goddamn 20º outside, every second counts. That’s why I wish plagues of frozen locusts upon whoever decided to make the pump go reeeaaaallly slow for the last ten cents of my prepaid gas. Oh, but that wasn’t good enough, was it? Hell no! Now it always seems to be the last fifty or sixty cents!
God forbid the pump dribble an extra $.00001 worth of gas out of the nozzle because it didn’t have enough time to slow down. Better I freeze to death, right?
Fuckers…
I do not understand how this is a problem. Perhaps it is because I am a guy and I have mastered the art of the “jiggle.” However, it is not a complicated maneuver. You clever ladies can surly figure it out.
Oh, and by the way, did we mention that our milk is on sale for $1.99 when you buy 5 gallons of gas? And did you want a receipt for your purchase?
The gas pumps around here have been modified to pump out the gas slower ever since the prices went up. I’m assuming that this was an attempt to make it seem like you were paying less money, because instead of shooting up to a high price, the numbers would climb very slowly. But this is not cool when it’s freezing outside.
A properly-programmed gas pump will not offer to sell you a car wash if it’s 18 degrees outside because the gas station owners I know that have a car wash do not open it when the outside temperature is below 40. Disabling the car wash from inside should also disable that part of the pump’s programming. Sounds to me like your issue is with the person inside who doesn’t understand that part of the system.
And no, I never have wished that I was in New Jersey. And I think I’m perfectly capable of pumping my own gas and don’t need a nanny state telling me otherwise.
I am going to print that out and post it at the pump. 
I hate how they have slowed down the gas pumps to accommodate the people that want to get an exact dollar amount. The current price scrolls to fast for people like that, so the bitching customers doing that get the pumps slowed down. I want the fast speed at all times. It’s almost impossible to put gas in during cold weather, you can end up with frost bite with winter protection on. Spending five minutes filling the tank instead of two is irritating. I’d like to see something like the late 70’s prepay and pump, which went to the amount you paid for. The change from those pumps would be an input at the pump, where you could type in the amount you wish to purchase. The pump goes high speed and shuts off at the correct value.
The car washes in Wisconsin operate when the temperature is below freezing. They shut down at around 20 F around my town. People have to wash off the salt before spring.
In my case, it’s frequently some guy who apparently just washed his hands in Hai Karate or Drakkar. I return to my car and start driving, and start to wonder what that godawful stench is. Then I have to pull over and find the handiwipes and clean my hands and the steering wheel before I can proceed. Gah!
Man I miss those days. I don’t think there’s a single full serve pump left in Nova Scotia (if there is, I never found it) which really sucked because I rarely had to get gas (I didn’t have my own car), so I always spent about 5 minutes staring at the pump trying to figure out how it worked. Okay, do I use the gas card before or after…ARGH!
I would gladly pay the extra money to have that bitch from high school pumping my gas. Hell, I’d pay even if it was someone I liked, just let me stay in the car.
I don’t drive right now but I haven’t seen a full serve pump around here either growls At least the local grocery has discount gas.
Oregon too. My local gas station even washes my windows!
Thank god for the nanny state.
People worry about who touched the pump handle before them? 
Really? Really? It has never occured to me to be concerned about this.