I’m sorry this makes the third cemetery themed thread in GQ, but I felt this Q would be better answered separately.
While visiting departed relatives over the holidays, I have noticed an odd arrangement of some of the other headstones in the cemetery.
IMHO, I have always felt that to be respectful, a headstone should:
[li]be at the head-end of the interred of the grave[/li][li]the text side of the headstone should face the head of the grave[/li]
However, I have noticed in some areas of the cemetery, it “appears” to be the opposite, due to lack of space and/or obstacles. Not knowing the physical orientation of the interred, one must speculate the following:
[li]the headstone was placed at the head, with the text facing away from the head of the grave[/li][li]the headstone was placed at the foot of the grave, with the text side facing away from the foot-end.[/li]
I really find this difficult to describe and wish I could show a photo or illustration of what I am speaking of. It makes better sense when seen. These odd-spots, have to be “different” due to the surrounding limit of space, obstacles, and positioning of adjacent interrments.
If my theory is correct, is this an “appropriate” custom? Also, is there a possible hidden “meaning” to said alternative orientation of the headstones? None of this matters to the dearly departed. However, if one of my family members was to be interred in said alternative fashion, I would feel somewhat troubled as it seems disrespectful, IMHO.
What’s the SD on this?
I’m betting the bereaved didn’t care either. They presumably have seen the headstones.
I know there are a lot of old family plots in Indiana which are centered on an obelisk. (Made popular by obelisks in the main crossroads of many county seats there.)
The people, based on the mounded shapes, are buried in the same direction, probably with the head on the north end.
Yet often the individual ground plaques are placed in a circle facing away from the center, so there is a round path around the grouping. The Victorian age put a value on formal symmetry, even forcing it. No form-follows-function for them.
In other old cemeteries, I’ve seen bodies placed two-deep from the path, with both headstones at the path end, so one was six feet from it’s body. It must have just made sense to the caretaker at the time.
I’ve also seen a number of headstones with engraving on both sides-- Sometimes it’s the same on both, sometimes it’s something like the information on the front, and a favored saying or prayer on the back. Maybe you’re just seeing some of these, and either didn’t notice the other side, or it had eroded away?
The headstones I refer to are NOT engraved on both sides, just one side only. Also the headstones in question are not too old, no older than say 1930 at the most.
I am going to attempt an illustration of the “odd” arragements I have seen.
legend
HR = headstone text facing right
example:
HR***HR***
in this example, there would be approximately 18 inches, or less, between the stones. The headstones are placed one in front of the other, single file, face->face->
I have seen some so close together that you have to lean over the front stone to read the one directly behind it. weird
What’s up with this? Doubling up of bodies? headstones at a foot of a grave? headstones facing the wrong way? (note: this is not work of pranksters, they are permanently placed this way)
I really need to submit photos here. arrrgh
If they put 'em at the foot, they’d be called footstones.
I suspect it’s so that visitors can walk along the path between the graves and read the inscriptions, without treading on the grave itself?
The mortuary asks a man what kind of headstone he’d like for his mother-in-law. The man says, “Something good and heavy!” rimshot