My mum used to take me to trade shows quite a lot, as they were quite mixed, as I used to help pick out new toys for their shop. A specific food one, mm… probably not though.
I also have very fond memories of going to the pub, they had an awesome playground, and I got a coke, which we never had at home. Might have to pick a different one, but quite a lot of ours are very kid friendly, though they have time restrictions (out by 9, unless finishing a meal is pretty typical)
Incidently, one of our local cinemas runs ‘parent and baby’ screenings in the day time for 18 rated films, babies up to 1 allowed, lower volume, some lighting in the auditorium. I think it’s a great idea… Just because you have a baby doesn’t mean you should spend all your time surrounded by Peppa Pig and brain melting drivel, especially at that age- it’d be getting scared by a loud noise, not a psychological thriller.
Perhaps you live in one of those places where an Applebees entree can actually run $30 (here the max is $15). Around these parts there are lots of places one can go for good food for less than $25 a plate. Here is a non-cardboard entree that I had at a rather popular restaurant downtown recently:
I think there is more to “is a restaurant kid appropriate” than the price. I go to really great restaurants where the entrees are $25 and they are kid appropriate, and great restaurants were the entrees are $25 and there is no children’s menu, no children in the restaurant, and the atmosphere is very grown up. I’ve gone to great restaurants where the entrees are $50, but the atmosphere is kid friendly - and my brother in law had his birthday party one year in a trendy hip restaurant where the entrees were reasonable, but I sat through the whole meal feeling that the restaurant wasn’t appropriate for kids (mine were along, it was a mistake - not that they bothered anyone, we were a large party seated in a corner, and I doubt anyone noticed the kids except in coming and going - they were just the only kids in the restaurant in the type of place grownups eat and drink heavily while they do so while the women wear short skirts and the guys talk about law school. No kids menu - which is fine, my kids appreciate grown up food - but not a welcoming atmosphere for them.)
Thinking about it, there are two sorts of places where I think carefully about bringing kids - REALLY expensive spots that are quiet and romantic - and places that have a “two cocktail” sort of atmosphere. There is a third category where we will take our now older kids, but we get them in and out before 8pm.
Kids shouldn’t be at adult restaurants, adult movies, adult parties or anywhere else that you would expect to find adults.
Kids are perfectly fine at malls, at bookstores, at restaurants with $25 dinner selections and anywhere else provided they are well behaved.
Further, I imagined I would feel bad about blocking store lanes with my pram; however, amazingly it’s never happened. I’m careful to move my pram to the side of course, but I’ve never been anywhere that the pram made it impossible for other patrons to get through. I’ve still had snotty comments though (from people who were walking unobstructed by my pram) about taking up too much space.
From this I’ve concluded that generally people who don’t like prams in fact just don’t like seeing them at all, regardless of if they’re blocking anything. Those people can bite my ass. FWIW, I got the same sort of withering stare when I needed to use the scooter at the end of my pregnancy and I had PIH. I think many people just get bent out of shape if there is ANYTHING slightly out of the ordinary in their path which could POTENTIALLY slow them down. I think those people are assholes.
It really depends on the circles you move in though. Other ways of doing it just assume children will be around at parties, or when you go out rather than seen as verboten.
In my view its less stressful that way, because there will always be ‘one couple’ or more, and you end up hoping everyone will see it the way you do, when they almost certainly wont. Many of the rules people have had in this thread seem more like a recipe to be constantly annoyed to me, than have any hope of it actually happening.
Sorry - I have a small child and I’ve turned down invitations (including a Dopefest) because I knew he was not welcome. The couple that knows this and brings their child anyway are assholes.
All of your post was excellent but this bears repeating. Unfortunately more people are saying “forget the cost of the babysitter” in the recession and just dragging the young kid along in the last 2.5 years.
Huh. I thought movie theaters had to respect the “17 and up” rule for all rated R movies. I guess it can vary.
:eek: Wow. Well I guess out goes that honeymoon idea…
Or, you want to expose your child to that cultural experience and share it with them.
I wouldn’t personally choose that restaurant or movie, but I certainly would take them to concerts and museums with no particular “children’s” angle. Recently my seven-year-old (who loves patterns) was interested in some Klimt works in a small art book. If we were able to go see some of them, as real and large originals, why should we not? With sensible scheduling, a meal beforehand, and her sister occupied elsewhere, I’d be quite confident that she could handle herself properly. She did just fine in two hours at the National Gallery.
That’s a perfectly reasonable expectation. Even if the person behind you is a small child.
Wait… do you think it is acceptable to have your seat kicked at Peter and the Wolf?
I think that’s very different. There the presence of children must impede on your experience, which isn’t the case in the other examples.
I assume children will be around at certain kinds of parties. I’d make sure I understood what kind of party was at hand before bringing my kids. Some people only attend the sort where kids are welcome and expected, or the reverse, and that’s all fine, but everybody should be aware of the distinction.
I think that’s a Wisconsin thing: children with parents have long been allowed in bars. In Madison, yep, a little inappropriate. In any of those little corner roadhouses up north, where the bar might have a pool table and (I’m dating myself here) a pinball game, and a little playground in back, fine.
Here and in Maryland, it was always 17 and up, unless accompanied by parent or guardian. Hence, a five-year-old sitting through Saving Private Ryan. :smack:
Sorry, I meant no offense. I was just slightly discomfitted by the hardly in the post I was responding to. The poster responded to me and I responded back and it was over. And seeing as I have never even spoken to you, I don’t know why you would take offense at a comment I directed to someone else. But anyway, I am sorry if I offended you. I probably should have worded my post differently. In fact I know I should have. So EyebrowsofDoom, apologies to you also and anyone else I may have offended.
And just ftr, I dont eat cheap processed “carboard”. I make all our meals, or we barbeque. .
I think there are two extremes here, and people tend to be irritated at one extreme or the other.
One extreme is people who are offended by the very existence of children: if they go to an art museum or a nice restaurant or a bookstore or a wedding and they see kids–even perfectly behaved, polite children, their evening is ruined. The very existence of the child irritates their sense of propriety, and they worry inordinately about what the child might do. People like this are really very rare, but they can be vocal and hurtful. A couple experiences with these sorts of people can leave parents very defensive about their child’s right to be anywhere.
At the other extreme, you also have people who will take a child anywhere, anyhow and do not monitor their behavior at all. This can go from the unsafe (baby in a smokey bar) to the royally annoying (three year old having a full-fledged tantrum in a restaurant). People like this are also rare but memorable, and tend to encourage people to make blanket statements like “Kids don’t belong in X”.
Most people do not fit either of these categories, but they feel very strongly about one or other other. Personally, I think it’s best to admit that both are assholes and neither should be indulged.
Kids really don’t belong in my bedroom snooping through my drawers. My boyfriend once laughed at what I did to get ready when my family came to visit vs. what his ex did. I just moved our “naughty stuff” from the top of the night stand to the top drawer. Evidently his wife put it in a bag in a box in the way back corner of her closet underneath a mound of other boxes.
I don’t mind kids, love them in fact. But company belongs in the bottom half of my house or in the bathrooms. If they go snooping somewhere else and mommy has to explain sex early - that is not my fault.
We have parties where people were welcome to bring their kids - I’m familiar with that - very familiar. Two years ago our big house party became adults only after I discovered someone’s kids had been in the basement digging through storage boxes and had a HUGE mess, and missing and broken items.
Its a matter of what the invitation says, not the circle of people you are in does. If the host says “no kids” its “no kids” If the host says “bring your kids” you can bring them or not.
Some parties are “bring your kids parties” and its FINE when you bring your kids to a “bring your kids party” (we are having one this weekend). Some parties are “grown up parties” - no matter what happens in your circle of friends, if the host declares it to be a grown up party, find a sitter or don’t go.
Its a cultural experience you can wait to share with your kids when they are a little older. Save some of it for when they are sixteen. And work up to it. A small kid dining at Fridays becomes a tween who can handle Ruth’s Chris becomes a teenager you can take to Nobu. There isn’t any reason to start the small kid out at Nobu.
My older child was, really, a complete angel as a baby and toddler. We could – and did – take her anywhere. She slept through town hall and school board meetings. She sat in her car seat, stowed on a chair in a high-end restaurant, and either gnawed zweibeck or slept. When she was walking age she loved to get dressed up with us and go to nice restaurants. She ate restaurant food and did not whine for french fries and chicken nuggets. Gosh, this is easy, we thought.
Then came daughter #2. She was nearing 4 or 5 years old before we went as a family to anything more upscale than McDonalds. She was completely incapable of sitting still. She had (and still has) a loud voice that carries. There were a few times we tried and we ended up taking turns spending time with her in the lobby or the parking lot. We did not punish her. We explained that this kid of place was for people who could sit still and talk quietly. If you can’t do that, then you have to wait elsewhere or stay home. Eventually she matured to the point where this was possible.
Funny thing is, Daughter 2 now works in food and beverage service, and few things irritate her more than a parent who tolerates an out-of-control child.
Might have to pick a different one, but quite a lot of ours are very kid friendly, though they have time restrictions (out by 9, unless finishing a meal is pretty typical)