Oh hey, were you actually sober when you saw this mouse? Maybe you just have a new imaginary friend?
You know, have you thought that maybe this was a different mouse and that the first mouse is RIGHT BEHIND YOU! 
I think its the infestation, the thought of something small and quick crawling up the tubes of your body, like a gerbil in the ass.
I don’t know, it’s tempting and I really want to help you out because I know what your’re going through. Plus it’s not as if I’m particularly happy or fulfilled with my current career. Still, I’m not sure if ‘ratcatcher’ would really be a step up. Would that look good on a resume? Plus I imagine I’d have to buy a flatcap and a tattered patchy waistcoat. I’ll have a think on it.
NAme + First sentence = Absolute Gold.
Are we talking about a housekeeper here? Like, a person who swallows these things?
Oh dear! I realized I failed to clarify. :o The professional in question is just a small feline with a Napoleon complex.
I was thinking of something…scalier than that.
Mickey is dead.
Eff yeah he is!
So my friend and I were retiring early for the evening, because like the loser dorks we are, we’d be drinking all day during the day and were worn out by 10pm. So now we’re at home, he’s retiring to the couch, I’m retiring to my bedroom whose doorway has been “guarded” with a line of mouse traps. As I’m getting cozy, I see the little rat fucker run out of my closet to behind my dresser.
Oh fuck no. Yes, as you’ve guessed, I screamed like a little tiny bitch, ran out of my bedroom, knocked on my bathroom door where my friend was showering and whined a lot. “OMG, THE MOUSE IS IN MY BEDROOM! HELP, PLEASE HELP, PLEASE!!!”
He comes out, moves the dresser, sees nothing, suggests I chill and we’ll buy more traps in the morning. NO! So he’s trying to comfort me, but is one of those ultra-logical robot people who doesn’t understand human emotions like fear, but he’s trying. He at one point suggests that we “go crazy on [my] closet” which means clearing everything out until we catch the mouse. I ask “Do you want to?” and he says no. I must have had the world’s saddest look on my face because he immediately followed it up with “Unless it’ll make you happy!”
Okay. So cue him moving out all of my shoes, he spots the mouse, then places a trap by where the mouse would exit, then shuffles a broom around to scare it out. BAM! Motherfucker gets caught in a motherfucking trap!
Fuck yeah! Like a boss, bitches! So happy! I jumped on my bed, screamed “YES!” and hugged my friend and yeah yeah yeah! Holy shit am I a happy little girl right now. I can sleep again!
Fuck you, Mickey!
Poor mouse 
Oh, come on!
Poor mousie.
Seriously, you need to marry this guy. You can tell your grandkids how a wee mouse brought you together. They’ll ask, “What’s a mouse?”, because they’ll all be extinct by then.
StG
I hope it wasn’t a boy mouse who left his lady mouse a pregnant widow. 
Dude, are you reading my mind? Stop with the voodoo already. First with the homesickness thing, and now this. This is a friend who I somewhat jokingly have agreed to marry if we’re both still single in the next six years. Also, yes, we have a mouse eradication plan, but I’ve already said too much.
So, MOL, how did you “reward” your friend? Instead of being a MeanOldLady, are you now a MellowOldLady? How about a MundaneOldLady? Dare I say, a MatureOldlady?
::d&r::
MeanOldLady-Rat Killer. 
(Old friends are hard to find.)
So my idea on page one, post six, worked. You’re welcome.
Ahem. Don’t overlook the fact that she was drunk at home like I suggested. That was just as important.
People, please, a combination of factors have led us here, including me being drunk at home and whoring myself out for rodent extermination.
If you were my neighbor, I’d offer to trade you services. I’ll get rid of your mice, if you’ll get rid of my spiders!
Still…congratulations on your victory!
(Although, as Bertolt Brecht said about Adolf Hitler, “The bitch that bore him is in heat again.” The world will never run short on mice, spiders, or dictators!)
That’s okay. There’s plenty more where he came from.
I very rarely say this about people that I only know virtually, but you are one cute lady.
And, as I have said before, I truly doubt that you are ‘mean’ or ‘old’.
Just sayin’