You do at birth you know.
“My brain hurts!”
No, not vultures, I believe they are merely carrion eaters. You need to get yourself an owl or a hawk.
We have rats in the garden, but fortunately my wife takes care of both setting and clearing the traps. She lets me open jars for her though, so I still retain the verisimilitude of manhood. (Hey, band name! TVOM for short.) Also, there was a frog sitting on the bathroom floor this morning, and I was able to clear that out, but mostly because it didn’t have teeth or fur, and was just over an inch long.
Just thought I’d point out that it has been something like 19 hours since we last heard from MOL. I’m going to be keeping an eye out for any giddy posts from new users named “Victorious Rat” or the like.
Oxymoron.
Still alive. Just got home, slept til something like 11:30 at my friend’s place, who I owe big time, by the way. No, not like that, you perverts. Checked the traps, nothing.
St. Germaine suspects the little asshole might have gone away, but that would actually be the worst case scenario for me, as I’d have no way of knowing, and it’d take me a long time before I felt comfortable enough to get a good night’s rest again. Grrr! If I don’t get it, I will set this whole building on fire, I am not even playing, I will do it.
It’s probably gone. Would it give you some peace of mind to go and seal any possible openings in the wallls where it might have come in? If so, use steel wool as the little fuckers can’t get past that.
The mouse could easily escape a fire. The only surefire method would be detonating a tactical nuclear weapon in your apartment building. Sure there could be some minor collateral damage but war is often a messy business.
Yes, that’s what she should do, go around the house reaching under things and behind them, looking for a little hole to stick her fingers into. If she feels anything furry crawling across it, she can just assume its a centipede instead! 
Yes, don’t be this guy
Wait, are you sure that they’re not rats you’ve seen? I’ve got really small hands for a grown woman (about 1" shorter than the average), and as long as you exclude the tail, most of the field mice around here aren’t a great deal bigger than my thumbs.
A mouse’s length (tail excluded) may be about the same length as my thumb, but it’s not the same size and it shouldn’t be the size of anyone’s thumb unless they have giant sausage fingers. And if anyone points out the thumb is not a finger, I swear to god…
Ah, but you haven’t seen a Chicago-style mouse.
Yeah, Chicago mice are big. Field mice are tiny. And Chicago rats are huge. No way you’d confuse the two. I typically work early mornings and walk to work (about three miles, Logan Square to Lakeview) and at 5 in the morning you see all kinds of critters. The herons, groundhogs, rabbits and occasionally even a coyote almost make up for the rats and mice. I’ve no idea where they all go during the day. Except the rats and mice, which typically seem to live in people’s walls.
MOL - I bet SoCal is looking better and better.
StG
Is it possible he might be hiding somewhere else? If a row of glue traps around the living room didn’t catch him, he might have left OR he might have just moved into another room/area. If I were a mouse in an empty apartment, I would definitely be chilling out in the kitchen cabinet, getting fat on Lucky Charms.
Oh yeah? How do you think we found out about this?
Ugh, you have picked the worst possible time to say this. I’ve gone back and forth on the idea of getting out of here, but the past few weeks have been characterized by unbelievable homesickness.
Cleared out my cabinets. Nothing in any of them but dishes and flour. I’m not letting no punk ass mouse eat all my Honey Bunches of Oats.
Home now. I’m going to sleep here. Alone. In the dark. Oh god.
Um. Is your flour in a paper bag or a plastic container?
edit: Track the mouse. Use that flour the mice will soon chew its way through and sprinkle it around the kitchen.
shudder
SHIT SHIT SHIT, HOLY SHIT, FUCK NO!
I’ve changed my mind! I was going to stay here again, but FUCK THIS!
I SAW THE MOUSE AGAIN!
Fuck! I screamed like a crazy person, then it scurried into a corner and disappeared. Shit shit. My friend said it’s okay if I stay again and I said no, not wanting to overstay my welcome, but fuck this shit.
Fuck this shit in its ear.
If your bed will allow it, here is a trick from down here in scorpion country: put the feet of your bed in big glass mason jars. Neither mice nor scorpions can climb up smooth glass. Make sure no blankets or bedspreads dangle to the floor, and that the bed isn’t touching any walls. Instant mouse-free haven for you to get some Z’s. (No he wont scale the wall, walk upside down on the ceiling, and jump in bed with you - but if you keep sleeping at your friends house he might get that idea!)