Look.
I’ve been here before. I’ve posted a VERY similar rant before, about family members…
This is aimed to you, friend. Yes you.
Dear Oysterfuck,
Eating a little, itty bitty particle of peanut will KILL ME. Yes, that’s right, KILL ME. My throat will swell up, I’ll break out in hives, my lips will turn blue, and I will die. On your kitchen floor.
“A little won’t hurt you” just won’t cut it. “It’s not that bad” won’t cut it either.
Stop offering me shit you know has come into contact with peanuts - hell, stop offering me peanuts themselves! Fer crissakes, PEANUT OIL contains PEANUTS, fucknugget! You used it in the salad dressing! I asked, you were offended, but I’m sure glad I asked, because you would have killed me. Yes, KILLED ME. Last time I ingested peanut laced food, I flatlined twice! Do the math!
Slipping it into my food (the dressing) isn’t kosher. You told my housemate that “bah, what she won’t know won’t hurt her.” He flipped out, and rightfully so!
Oh, and by the way, after I exploded at you (again!), going off into a rant on how you hate taking the plane now because they don’t give out peanuts anymore because of allergies was just a wee bit too much. In your opinion, you hate pretzels, so why should you have to suffer in the name of the allergic folk? You asked if peanuts will come out of the bag and run up to the allergic person and bite him.
Maybe we can find a way to send YOU into anaphylactic shock, and see how YOU feel if you survive.
sigh
('pologies for the lame rant.)
Elly