So I’m looking at homes on realtor.com and one I like has these phrases:
‘all windows treatment’ - Treated for what? I know what a window treatment is, I suppose, but not this phrase.
‘Garden Tub/Shower’ - Like outside? Seems cold?
‘Blown ceiling’ - I don’t really CARE about my ceiling’s personal life.
Anyone feel like working their universal translator for me?
“Window treatment” means curtains, shades, blinds, or shutters. “All windows treatment” means that all of the windows will have coverage when you move in, instead of having to hang sheets until you can order something.
A “garden tub” is an oversized tub with rounded sides. Nice, if you like baths and don’t have to worry about water.
A blown ceiling has texturing blown onto it. It makes it look more like plaster and less like painted drywall. Or it might be that popcorn-looking stuff.
Also, the texturing on a ceiling reduces noise.
Of course, it also takes more paint if you want to repaint it, and it gathers dust, but hey! Less noisy!
I’ve been following Lovely Listing since I found it. One thing I’ve learned from it is the term “convey”, which means that a certain feature will remain with the house. Usually used for items which can be removed but will be left with the house (like the curtains will convey), or for items that are hard to remove, but will be removed before the house is sold (like, a particular ceiling fan happens to be worth a buttload of $$$, so the owners will be moving the fan when they move, instead of leaving it installed).
Mind you, I’ve only heard that term on that blog, so YMMV
I mostly remember the old-time Realtor-speak:
“Charming” - small
“Cozy” - even smaller
“Doll House” - incredibly small
“Close in” - inner city
“Close to Services” - next to a strip mall
I’ve seen the term “convey” in real estate listings everywhere. Such as “One parking space conveys.” It’s not unique to Lovely Listing.
ETA: Happy Chairturday a little early!
“handymans dream” - falling apart
Quaint = itty-bitty and unsuitable for two normal-sized adults.
Rustic = At the end of a half-mile rutted gravel driveway and the electrical wiring was installed by Thomas Edison himself.
Vibrant nightlife = This condo is near multiple places where people get drunk, rowdy and fight.
Steps to transit = The El tracks are five feet away from your bathroom window.
Metropolitan Lifestyle = You’ll have to step around passed-out drunks on the front steps.
Exciting Metropolitan Lifestyle = Expect to get mugged weekly.
Unique artistic design = Previous owner liked fluorescent purple and green. On the outside[ of the house.
Rural majesty = On top of a mountain, reachable only by a trail that is impassible even by four-wheel drive during mud season. Nice view, though, if you survive the bugs and bears.
Or, it’s a 1.5-hour walk to a bus that runs once in the morning and once in the afternoon. On weekdays. (It doesn’t say how many steps, does it?)
To shamelessly steal from the simpsons;
Motivated seller - currently on fire
Quirky charm - the last owner was a nutcase, and it shows.
(and I wouldn’t be surprised if they used this to describe our house if we ever sell it)
We’ve been house hunting recently (have a house under contract! yay!) and my five year old came with me to look at all the houses. I taught him to use the word “convey” so that he could participate fully in the experience. At one house, he asked the real estate agent if the bird bath conveyed. I was so proud.
Handymans dream = A dilapidated house
Window treatments being included can be a big deal if you are moving into a place with custom or odd-size/odd-shape windows. Blinds and such for those windows can be monstrously expensive, and it doesn’t benefit the seller to take them, as the home they’re moving into don’t have that size/shape window.
To the list, I will add:
Landscaped-has a tree
Well-Landscaped-has two trees
Lushly Landscaped-has two trees and a hedge.
Unfortunately, the actual station is several blocks away.
Affordable lake/ocean view = stand on tiptoe on the back deck, crane your neck and you can kinda see water.
Walking distance to — = who doesn’t love a brisk five-mile stroll?
“Tons of character” - full of ghosts
View: has windows
Unique view: has one window