poet laureate to the SDMB

In My Humble Opinion
1

I just had a brainstorm whilst posting something in “About This Message Board.” The SDMB has no poet laureate!

Please enter your application here. Sample verse required. Results determined by unanimous consent (to prevent the tyranny of the majority over the minority.) Please be fair and impartial. When judging poetical skills, consider rhyme, metre, imagery, and whatever else is supposed to make good poetry. Fulsome praise of Cecil Adams, the Straight Dope column, the SDMB and its staff is encouraged.

2

Ok, I’d like to submit my application to be poet laureate.
I know they are some older, more mature posters on this board you write very well, but I would still like to be considered. I love writing poetry, I even took a class last year so I would have more time to read and write poetry.

Here’s my sample verse

The World’s Magic
By Haley Stokes

The stars can sing,
I’ve heard them,
The moon can dance,
I’ve seen it,
The coulds can touch me,
I’ve felt them.

The sunlight has a way of sewing,
Weaving golden threads around the Earth,
Creating a quilt of life,
I’ve worn it.

The trees can talk,
I’ve talked back,
The rain can laugh,
I’ve laughed with it,
Flowers can fly,
I’ve seen them take wing
.
The scent of a rose,
Cannont compare to the smell of a fresh morn,
When the Earth is baptized in fresh dew,
I’ve become clean with it.

The mountains can move,
I’ve pushed them,
My heart is on fire,
I’ve set it,
The animals are friends,
Some of my best.

Time has a way,
Of standing still,
And shaking hands with lonely men,
My palm still burns with the imprint.

The colors of a rainbow,
Cannot compare with the brightness of his eyes,
When he taught me see with my soul,
Amd watch the magic of the world.

If you would like to see other poems, I have about 30 posted on my website, go to www.geocities.com/pepperlandgirl4/poems.html

3

Let’s all bring in our teen angst poetry that we wrote in Junior high - that would be hilarious.

2 recent pieces (they are mine and are hereby copyrighted to Madgalene on the SDMB in the name of the IPU)

I.

Desire is nothing without curiosity
the kind that kills cats drowns sailors
builds churches

II.

Hmmm you make me want
to put the word obey
back in the marriage ceremony

4

Or I can do limericks:

I.

There once was a man named Brian
Who dreamed of fighting a lion
I’m sorry to say
It just wasn’t his day
And there’s not a whole lot left of Brian

II.

Pepperland girl was a poet
And she wanted the whole world to know it
She’s got brains, she’s got looks
She’s got talent to spare
And she’s got the courage to show it
Or Shel Silverstein style:

What the heck rhymes with Arnold Winkelreid?
He thinks and he types with a cheetah’s speed.
His posts I like very much to read.
A poet laureate we do greatly need.
But what the heck rhymes with Arnold Winkelreid?

5

I’ll write a silly poem for anyone who posts here and asks for one.

6

Alright, here’s mine.
The Fairy’s Tale

Take a spoon from whence thy fork,
And a knife you shall become.
Into the dreidel’s spin he span,
Until his none was some.
As many speckled frecks
They laid, upon the violet night.
And so the stars did laugh and dance,
All shackled by their fright.
What can a fairy hope to do when
Over come by science?
Their only path to take is lost,
They mock the dead with silence.
And now the magic days they fade,
like echoes in the chasms.
Their memory is never dreamed,
Our souls are set to spasms.

7

I’m not adverse to verse myself,
However, think it small
When seen upon the tiles of white
Upon the Urinal wall!!

The Poet Who Writes On Bathroom Walls
Can take one small hint from it
Among the shit we are all poets,
Among poets, we’re all shit.
Also,

Never in Winter Have you seen such a site
Old Joe was a stumblin’ home
Yes, thruth be told, he had quite a night
And most fortunate this far to roam.
He got just as far as his legs would allow
Keeping his weight barely off of the floor
He made the last steps as neared the old cow
And mistook her hind end for the door.

As you can see, it would be foolish for me to apply, rather, I would like to nominate Kimstu and Gilligan, based on the work they did here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26365

8

You said up from that praise for mods
and Cecil is approved.
I get the hint; and think you’ll find
my poetry’s improved.

A packet full of unmarked bills
is slipped beneath the table
“Here’s my entry, Arnold”
though it’s rather un-rhyme-able.

Other poets here might find
this tactic is immoral.
I disagree, what better way
to take the poet’s laurel.

9

and nominate someone else.

TN*Hippie, aka tennhippie, should be poet laurate, hands down.

10

Cecil Adams is the king,
as anyone can see.
He knows just why our shit is brown,
and the words that end in “gry.”

Oh, he’ll answer almost anything
on science, sports, and song.
But don’t you dare insinuate
that Cecil could be wrong!

So that is why I’m often here-
to gain some smarts, I hope.
I’ll be here even more I say
if Poet Laureate of Straight Dope.

[Best read while enjoying a fine cigar and brandy, with soft blues on in the background]

11

TennHippie’s been the Limerick King since he hopped on board, and I think he’s perfect for the title.

12

Ok, imagine a coffee room. Smoke hangs heavy in the air. A bass & a sax play low, cool jazz. There are berets, beards, & beats, all in abundance. No applause, just snapping.
DITWD on stage:
" Death…Darkness forever…bummer…"

13

I nominate Prose. Where’s the link to her page?

14

I think I should be
the poet laureate here
cuz’ of this haiku

15

for TN*Hippie and Chef Troy

16

Here I sit all broken hearted…

17

I’ve gotta back up Seale & Chris here. TennHippie rules the poetry world with a rubber-chicken fist.

18

We need someone with one-liners, like Ogden Nash.

“A little talcum is always walcum”

19

Name: Leigh-Anne Dennison
SDMB Pen Name: Peta Tzunami
Qualifications: I have been writing poetry since the age of 14 having a personal collection of more than 345 written works spanning just over 16 years. Writing is my life’s ambition, and I integrate it into whatever aspects of my life that I can. I make no claims to be great, only prolific and passionate. :slight_smile:

Rather than a recent piece, I submit for your consideration a very emotional piece penned around the time of my high school graduation. Additional works can be found, here and in this SDMB thread. Thank you for your consideration.
Alzheimers
by L. Dennison (c) 1988

Warm cookies and cold milk,
Flannel pajamas and hot cocoa,
Bedtime stories and feather pillows.
The memories are so clear
For me at least.

But
Gramma is gone
Though she’s still here.
My name escapes her–
I hold back a tear.
My face looks familiar,
But she still can’t recall
A lifetime of memories.
Then, my tears do fall.

All the times we shared.
All the things we had done.
She stares at me blankly
For she remembers none.

My heart breaks within me
For I love her so.
I miss my Gramma,
The one I used to know.
Will she ever come back?
God help her…
I don’t think so.

20

It’s sad how so many of the people applying poet laureate of the SDMB seem to be bound by the chains of poetic tyranny (rhyme scheme, meter, theme)–not me.

Praseodymuim

Aunt warned how.
No excuses.
For those criminated on the right,
I can feel you when you’d put,
You’ve never even that think that birthright,
(It is a foul tip)
Is legal pitch because you’re only (not individuals), probably . . . Debbie said.

Let the top or more,
Up from a family growth.
Most paleontologists once between and–
Turn of the Conferred and fluvial rocky plant fossilized,
The o**nly cuddly,
The title,
And the refer the Five Nations
Which is on your eyes was a barred into trigging their government.

Trigging their government which are now other for security,
And **eat out to be verified,
Every crack and course of allegiance.
Some before than earliest know.
I always had cost twelve-year-old draught;
Runners may not have taken.

No person,
No nation,
To return them in the next conclude that you don’t need -
It up coming.
My mother hands,
And maybe not as bizarre as scientified by the cat feel.

Why do I love **you *better
(parts per billion)
Years ago.

   It **may *not step outside the asteroid hit,

The umpires are crushed beneath glacial vitality or security.