As I mentioned in this thread, I’m the most visible Jewish person in a workplace populated mainly by Christians. This is not a big deal to anyone except one well-meaning, devout, evangelically-oriented person. I posted here because I was a little concerned that I might be the target of proselytizing when the two of use were installed in the same office, but nothing of that sort has happened since I wrote that post.
So I thought.
Just when I was really getting into my annual ignoring of the Christmas season, I checked my work e-mail and what’s waiting for me but a message from my thoughtful but clueless office mate with the subject…
“A Jews For Jesus e-card”
I will admit I haven’t opened it and I don’t want to. JFJ just goes against my belief in a strict Jews for Moses & Abraham/Christians for Jesus dichotomy.(1)
Seriously, what do I do with this? We do not discuss religion. I have no desire to discuss religion with this person. I personally find the basis of JFJ obnoxious (although I am quite sure my coworker does not know this, having no reason to). My gut wants to delete the message, ritually disinfect my in-box, and pretend I never saw it. The nice person in me wants to say “Thank you for your thoughtfulness.” My gut tells me that if I acknowledge this message in any way, I am opening myself up for serious proselytizing efforts.
So: Ignore or acknowledge?
(1) Let it be known right now that I bear no personal ill will toward members of the Jews for Jesus organization, Messianic Jews, Jews of any other sort, Hebrew Christians, Christians as a whole, and anyone else I’ve left out. I simply have a deep-seated disagreement with the theology espoused by JFJ and other Messianic Jewish schools of thought.
In my usual moods I’d say acknowledge with flying heavy objects, but as it is I’ll say ignore. Do not act friendly in any way towards the receipt of this e-mail.
I would ignore it. If she is a “sweet” person, maybe try to think of it kindly, but ignore it. Do not adknowledge it in any way. If you recieve any more of that type of e-mail from her at work, you need to either take it up with her, or with your boss.
Most Jews find Jews for Jesus highly offensive. So your cow-orker should know. I’d send the card back, with a note saying please don’t send any more of these.
Given your stance, I think you should ignore it. It’s not what I would necessarily do myself (assuming that I would receive an “atheists for Jesus” e-mail ), but since her attempt has been long to come, is (relatively) discreet and you don’t want to be confrontationnal or to have to deal with a debate on this topic, ignoring it (at least as long as she stops there and doesn’t start a crusade to save you) seems the way to go.
I see no particular reason to thank her.
I always have a Christmas Day open house - lots of food and drink and usually throw on a DVD musical on television later in the day. I just realized from my RSVP list, I will have about 80% Jews at my Christmas party! This is especially odd for me considering Christmas Day is also the beginning of Hanukkah (geez, how often does that happen?!)
That said, I would just delete the message, unread. Why aggravate yourself? Whoever sent that to you is not “well-meaning”, they are an inconsiderate asshole. My Jewish friends are coming because I have great food and drink, they know it is fun, they like to look at my decorations, we have a great time watching a film together and we are celebrating my Christmas and they don’t have a problem with it.
I am thinking, however, considering the odd timing of both holidays, maybe I should get a Menorah? Or would that be considered tacky, considering I am not Jewish?
I’m not Jewish, but I’d vote no on your kind menorah idea as menorahs are specificially religious symbols, while Christmas trees are not. Also, it is proper to light each branch of the menorah with a prayer, which I assume is not your intention.
Ignoring it won’t make it go away. Your thoughtful cow orker will continue sending such messages like an eager puppy-dog, hoping that just one more bit of good news will help you see the light. My advice is to send politely worded message explaining that you understand she means to be helpful, but ask for her to not proselytise to you, and make sure that your manager is CC’d so that it gets properly documented.
If she drops the subject, great. If she gets defensive, just reiterate that you understand that she didn’t mean any harm, but that you don’t want those sorts of messages sent your way. If she continues with this behavior, though, you will have a head start on shutting down this sort of thing through other avenues.
Ignoring it is all well and good, but her sending religious material in an attempt to proselytize is harrassment.
Reply to the message, telling her that you do not appreciate receiving this kind of material. Be unequivocal – don’t give her an out. Keep this piece of crap in a separate folder and if it persists, take it to your supervisor and follow the procedures for a harrassment claim. If you like, you may blind-copy your supervisor, but definitely keep a copy in the “sent” folder or bcc yourself so you have proof you told her to knock it off.
I know this seems harsh, but she sounds like a True Believer who won’t learn unless there are consequences to her job. Don’t feel bad; she’s bringing this on herself through her behavior.
I agree with what others have said. I’d either delete it and forget it, or send a brief reply reading something like “I prefer not to discuss religion in the workplace.”
If it ever gets to the point where you need to get snarky, please allow this Christian to suggest that you simply simply refer her to the Gospel of Mark, Chapter 6, Verse 1. Whether you include the text is up to you. The text reads, “Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven,” and it is Jesus speaking. This is a few verses before the bit where Jesus tells people not to be like the hypocrites who like to pray out loud on street corners and synagogues where they can be seen by men. (Here’s a link to the full chapter.)
I’d hold off on that for now. It sounds like it’s nowhere near that level, but I’ve always liked having a backup plan or two.
I agree. It’s not tacky, just unnecessary. Since you’re not Jewish, no one is expecting to encounter a menorah in your home, anyway. If you want to use Chanukah-themed decorations, a bright’n’shiny “Happy Hannukah!” banner would be a better idea.
To all: Thanks very much for your responses. I will go with the overwhelming majority, and keep quiet unless my coworker mentions it. I will tuck the email in a file for “documentation” and (I hope) eventual forgetting.
I’ll let you know if anything happens. Off to work.
cwthree what is your company’s policy on email? I ask because most places do prohibit email that is not work related being sent internally or externally by any employee. That’s the policy where I work. Violators are warned the first time and face disciplinary action for any subsequent violations. If your co-worker has in fact violated company email policy then you should report it. It’s the only way to stop this stuff from continuing.
At any rate, I vote for letting the person know that you do not want to receive an more such emails. Then he or she will know not to do it in the future. I’m also for BCCing your supervisor and/or HR department/person so that a record is made of your objection to this type of email.
I’m afraid if you don’t nip this in the bud, she will continue to send them. You need to let her know you’re not interested. If she continues, let HR know.
Of course, but to be consistent, you should also finger everyone who’s sent you any non-work-related emails; funny stories, cartoons, jpegs, chain emails about nerds on dates, whatever. Otherwise this approach just looks like cheap sophistry, what with it being the unwelcome proselytising that’s the issue and not the abuse of company facilities. And let’s not forget to turn ourselves in if we’re Doping on the company’s nickel.
That’s right! Get your ammunition ready. The only way the bastards will learn is after they’ve been fired a few times.
To the OP, I don’t know what’s wrong with saying “Thank you for your concern, but I’m already happy with where I am spiritually, and of all the things likely to change that, an email is bottom of the list.”
It’s a stealth organization (some call it a cult) that seeks to paint Christianity as another form of Judaism to make the former palatable to the latter. The reason it engenders so much disgust among Jews is because of the “stealth” nature.