Wow…that’s just…well let’s just say there’s more to be worried about than a dirty mouth. Although I usually just do a pee wipe and then a poo wipe with the same bit so it’s wet. Guess that’s not any less disgusting…
Stood until I was old enough to know better and reach the TP, now I sit exclusively. And I’ve never touched the water…what are you people doing?
I always wipe first, otherwise you risk things migrating. Plus, when you stand your cheeks clench and it’s hard to get in there. I will only stand if I’ve made a particularly messy/sticky poo that requires extra effort and positioning to clean up.
Once I lock my knees, my glutes are no longer being (much) used in keeping me standing. I think ur doin it rong. 
Maybe clenched was the wrong term lol. When I poo I use the friction of the toilet seat to keep my cheeks spread apart as much as possible. When I stand, the cheeks come back together, if only because I can’t actively keep them spread apart without sitting.
wipe,
ass shower ( dont have bidet attachment on my current loo set up)
wipe again
seriously folks you have to use water. Screw chasing and smearing a turd halfway up ur back with a bit of paper.
What about using your hand for this? As I mentioned in post #75, I take some toilet paper while sitting, put it in one hand, and then use the other to “keep 'em spread” as I stand.
Dunno, I guess after reading this thread I can see why other people wouldn’t want to stand. The increased mobility and more room you get from standing just works out better for me.
What on earth do you standees do while wiping your butts that requires mobility?
Standing? What planet does this occur on?
B
Sitting is just so relaxing and your cheeks are already spread, you just lean a little to the left and wipe.
It’s not like I’m doing the twist and having a poo storm eminate from my ass. It’s just if you reach back to wipe and you’re standing, you can sort of lean yourself forward and your butt away from you to ensure maximum spreaditude.
You just convinced me. I’m getting me one of those butt washer toilet seats.
The rest of you can argue amongst yourselves.
Ahhh, warm water. 
Some cute butts to peruse. I am such a nice guy.
This thread reminds me of an older thread where it was revealed to me that there are people out there who are too lazy to completely button or unbutton their shirts, so they unbutton just enough buttons to put on or take off the shirt, kind of like they’re treating all button-down shirts as polo shirts.
To wit: WHO ARE YOU CRAZY PEOPLE?
Standing up? Reaching through your legs to wipe? It’s … inconceivable.
BTW: I can’t find it quickly through Google, but there’s a mini-industry built around making products that are “assistive” in nature. One example I saw: a bent, lightweight plastic arm around which you can wrap AngelSoft:D and subsequently wipe your bottom. Advertised as helping people with difficulties reaching back there.
Wait, what’s the problem here? They stay on the hanger better and it’s faster when you wake up 25 minutes before you have to be at work. I’m not seeing the downside.
There’s a third option? Standing on your head, perhaps?
CRAZY!!!
I just realized I’m spending time in two related threads; one about making yogurt at home and this one, about wiping your ass.
If you don’t see the connection, you’re okay.
If you do, get professional help.
Peace,
mangeorge
I’m a sit-down, back to front wiper. I’m very careful, but I’ve had one infection. I thought i was the only one! I just can’t do that reach-around thing.
I’m glad I’m not alone! I love this place.
While sitting, I reach back and place the paper in the affected area. Then I stand straight up at attention, paper clenched in place, arms by my side, about one foot in front of the toilet. Next I use my butt cheeks to wipe clean the area, then stoop forward, and with quick contraction, expel the paper into the toilet. 
No, actually slight leaner here.
Heh heh. “ass-istive.”
After my accident back in 2004 I had a bidet installed.
What is this wipe of which you spaek?
So you only crap at home, then?
Wow a thread on ass wiping. 
One thing seems to come out from the responses: Standing while wiping appears to be correlated with the age and heftiness of the wiper. Time for a controlled, double-blind study!