I’m 28, and sometimes I feel like I’m still dealing with the same issues I had when i was 21. Does it ever get any better?
Life in general is pretty repetitive. You will find you are still dealing with the same issues at 45 as you were at 21. The only change is the amount of money it costs to deal with them.
From a more personal view, I find my life a lot easier at 44 than it was when I was 21. I can’t speak for everyone, but it does seem life gets easier as you age, partly from experience and not making the same stupid mistakes.
Things are much different for me from when I was 21 until now (I’m 37). Mainly it’s because I set goals and made the choice to work towards those goals. Many of them I’ve accomplished, which means I’ve set new goals. I’d like to think I learned from my mistakes and not repeated them (or at least not to the original degree).
Overall, things have gotten easier and better, and I appreciate things much more. When I hear people say, “Oh, I wish I was X age again” I shudder, because there’s no way I’d want to go BACK to an age. Personally, I always look back and think, “I never want to go through that again.”
I’ve been having dreams recently that I’m back in my past–places, people, etc.–and for me it’s a nightmare. I don’t want to be there again, going through that stuff again. In many ways I’m looking forward to the future, 'cause I got plans…
I think THIS might be something that would help me a lot. My brother has tried to tell me this so many times, but I’ve never eally taken his advice. (Sorry Matt. )
Yep, I’m 34, and I agree with phallo. When I was 28 I was still digging out of credit hell and still treading aline I had since my early twenties. I was lucky to land a job as an adjunct prof directly out of grad school (which brought me back to CT) - but that did not mean I was financially set by any means. My wife and I went through some very tough times, but then when I got full prof. and she landed her job in the publishing realm, finances took a more back seat stance in our life. But it was certainly not easy. We made some stupid mistakes whilst in grad school, and had to pay our dues quite literally afterward. I’m talking grab your ankles and pray But we made it.
Now I we are setting goals for the future and sticking by our work ethic. And work ethic has a lot to do with how far you make it, and how quickly you get there.
What has changed from my 20’s to 30’s? - My priorities are much different, I no longer stress as much and are anxious as much about finances, I enjoy some of the finer things in life, and family means much more to me now. I am fairly far from my siblings (distance wise) and that weighs a little heavy on me, my wife and I are trying to get pregnant, and that is a huge deal right now…and we are really wanting to spend more time with neices and nephews…[and we of course want to give them some more cousins]…but overall, life is certainly getting easier as we move on in years… I am not afraid of aging, and look forward to all future endeavors.
Basically, life is not as tough as it was in my 20’s. Much of which are now a blurr.
I turn 30 this October 1st.
So far things seem to be going basically along the lines of Y2K.
I’m sitting here with my laptop at the proverbial New Year’s Eve party waiting for that crucial moment, fully aware that most of the world is waiting with baited breath for the Internet to melt, while I personally think that tommorrow is going to be just like yesterday, and I’m not going to turn into a pumpkin just because I haven’t achieved everything on that to-do list I made when I was a teenager.
How’s that for a mixed metaphor?
One day when I was thirty and unemployed, my other unemployed buddy and I were drinking some beers in an East Village bar (on a Tuesday at 2 in the afternoon). He had the bold idea of renting a car and visiting out old fraternity house.
“Yeah”, says I, “that’s what I want to hear. A bunch of 18-23 year olds say things like 'wow, you guys have been out for awhile. We’d invite you to our Annual Free Sex, Drugs and Alchohol party but your probably have wives and kids and careers you don’t want to screw up.”
…not so much
There are pros and cons to leaving the 20s. My body changed radically in my late 20s-- I gained weight, I developed a long-term illness and back problems, got acne for the first time, etc. That really sucked. I also find it much harder to make new friends and date in my 30s. Most others my age are already married or, like me, just don’t know how to go about it anymore. OTOH, I am financially solvent, have a career, will be buying a house, and I know who my friends really are. It’s a trade off.
I’d definitely go back in time and do it over again if I could know what I know now. No question about it.
That’s really the big diference. The typical urban lifestyle is you have a fairly large network of work friends, roomates, former college buddies, etc all living in various affordable yet trendy parts of town. The whole career thing is new and you’re excited to be on your own with some extra spending cash. Most Thurs-Sat you spend all night cruising about, trying to find a party or a bar that doesn’t suck. If you’re lucky, you meet a girl and go home with her or get a number or make out in a dark corner of the bar. If not, it’s off to the diner at 3:00am for some late night breakfast.
Around 28-30 most of my friends started getting married or relocating to jobs in other cities. Every year there are fewer and fewer around to hang out with. We still keep in touch but I’m not really one for correspondance or long distance relationships. I can’t really see someone a couple times a year, remenisce about the good ole days and pretend that we are still “friends” on any meaningfull level. Yeah a have a career now but it now consumes all my time.
Basically, your thirties suck compared to your twenties.
Hey, Hey here’s the word from your 60’s:
Childhood was great and the teens had their wonderous moments. Then came the 20’s and marriage + kids + getting a job. From then on it was keeping the marriage together, raising the kids and getting ahead. Now in the 60’s you’ve got those memories, but no desire for the process to repeat itself. If I were to give any advise about what one should do, it would be to fully live your life where you are at, if you make the right decisions you won’t regret it when you’re older (and for sure you not going to get younger).
I would have to say things have gotten better.
In my twenties my motto was, " Live Hard, Drive Fast, And Leave A Good Looking Corpse Behind.". I was not adverse to taking Any chemical offered to me. I could be counted on to participate in any kind of shenanigans, if I thought it would be fun. I’m still surprised I’m not in jail, or the morgue.
In my thirties things changed. I got married, by far my smartest move. We bought a house, a good move even if it came with her sister included. I got to travel to foreign countries, something I always wanted to do. I bought a new car, another milestone. My siblings began to have children. We tried to have our own, but did not succeed.
As I approach my fourties, approximately 50 days away, things are changing again. I have gone back to school, I’m getting out of the restaurant business. We have decided that having kids just wasn’t meant to happen. We now have enough neices, nephews, and great nieces and great nephews to keep us busy.
Her cousin moved in with us, we don’t let family live on the street. I’m now surrounded by 3 women and a dog. All in all it’s been fun.
Well, I wish I could relive years 24-28, just so I wouldn’t make the stupid mistakes I did. At the time, I had no real goals, and those four years were pretty much wasted. I guess the transition from college to real life was a lot messier than I’d expected.
Now in my early 30s, I’m much more directed. I have specific goals (get established in Dallas, pay off credit cards, buy a house, start on a Master’s degree), and I’m constantly working towards them. I’m taking better care of myself, and I think, overall, I’m happier.
The downside is that most of my friends are my age and are married, settled down, and starting families. I am the odd one out, it seems. So, I’m out, trying to find more social circles.