I wouldn’t want it and I wouldn’t want it sprung on me as a surprise. But I think it would be nice if he offered it to those who wanted it. Condolence cards and trees and such would be ok as a surprise, but not something so personal.
I hated when they asked us (when I was in clinical rotations) to do them for our deceased patients. My reasoning was that I wouldn’t want one as a memorial, nor someone to do that without my consent, even if the animal is already dead when they do the pawprint (yes, they are already dead).
I can see why some people may appreciate it, and I think it should be something to ask the pet owner, in a “I know this is a difficult decision/moment, but would you like some memorial or remains from your pet?” talk. I’ve seen people decline, or chose something else (like the canine teeth).
Personally, I’ve thought about that, and I want her skull, not the pawprint, as a memento.
So I take it many of you think the vet should ask permission to take a pawprint post-mortem to send on a condolence gift. That would be an interesting conversation. “So sorry Fluffy didn’t make it, can we take a pawprint to send to you on a sympathy card next month?” At a time of grief, would you even answer the way you think you might a month later?
I personally don’t find anything weird or repulsive about the vet taking such a pawprint without my express approval. In fact, I might think that it had been a pawprint that they kept in their files for some reason and wouldn’t have spent a lot of time wondering about it.
Well, of course it’s a somewhat weird conversation. So is the “what do you want to do with the remains, here’s a pet cemetery/crematory brochure” conversation. It’s still necessary; and even through grief I was able to see that.
I think it’s pretty awful to spring it as a surprise without asking permission. A lot of people will appreciate it regardless, yes, but it can backfire so easily, and there’s just no reason not to ask how the pet owner feels about it, first.
I voted sweet gesture.
People would rather have canine teeth? I can see a vet (or their assistant) gently pressing my dead animal’s paw to make an imprint, but it would bother me if they used pliers to rip a tooth out of the pet’s dead head. And to get yanked teeth in the mail? Blech.
I think it is a sweet gesture, if the owner has mentioned a desire for it. Many people in this poll and outside do not want that, or do not want that surprise. And like the previous poster said, it is a difficult talk, but the “what do you want to do with the remains?” talk I’d find both more difficult and important (and is asked).
In case I wasn’t clear, the owners expressed a desire for the vet to give them their dog’s canine tooth. Perhaps it was a guardian dog, or it was known for being aggressive to strangers, who knows. *It was the owners’ express wish. * They left the body during the day, whenever the vet had some downtime, he took some instruments and got the tooth out. Cleaned it up, and put it in a small plastic bag. The owners returned later in the day and got the tooth they wanted to keep. Perhaps to make a necklace?
The thing is, those last wishes, those last desires, those mementos, are things that should be talked with the owners, and the owners’ wishes in that regard should be respected (within reason). I don’t think it is up to the vet/clinic to unilaterally think that the owner would be OK with that. As vets, they have to ask the owner if they agree with the care they want to give to their animals. I don’t see why that should stop at death.
Yeah, I think my reaction would depend in very large part on whether or not the vet asked for (and received) my permission. If it just showed up in the mail one day, my first reaction would be “WTF were they doing with my pet’s body behind my back?” even though I might have actually said “Yes, thank you,” had they asked me if I wanted it.
In fact I recently went through something similar: the funeral home/crematory I chose included a laminated, framed fur clipping as part of its services. This was clearly listed on their website, in their brochure, and he brought it up while I was in his office, and asked me if I wanted that, along with asking me if I wanted a plain box or a scattering urn, going over the fees, etc. – all necessary conversations, even though it was really weird and trying to talk about right then. The fur clipping is not something I would have thought of on my own, I’m glad it was offered, I’m glad I accepted the offer, but I would have reacted badly had he just gone ahead and done it without in any way letting me know that he was going to. It’s a sign of respect to me that someone handle the body of a loved one in the way that I asked them to.
Honestly, if your client is going through an emotionally trying time, the best policy is just to communicate clearly. My vet even asked me if I’d been through a euthanasia before, or if I needed her to explain what would happen, which I really appreciated – I was too emotional to think to ask for that information myself, and knowing in advance what it would look like helped me prepare for it (it wasn’t exactly what I had been expecting). There’s nothing that’s not weird about dealing so intimately with death, particularly if you also have to make decisions about logistical details. It just is what it is, and no one should use that as an excuse not to communicate.
I have a kit to make those clay pawprint things. I started to make them one day, but decided I wasn’t happy with the results, so I didn’t bake the clay to make it set. I just put the kit away and figured I’d do it later.
Later never happened because one of my dogs died. In cleaning out the dog cabinet, I found a pawprint I’d made with an inkpad back when I was making Christmas cards and I’d get the dogs to stamp their paws as signatures on them. (Make dog stand on ink pad. Then make dog stand on Christmas card. Presto! Dog signed card.)
Anyway, after he died, the vet sent me a nice card with a thank you note from the University of Florida Vet school. My vet had made a donation in my dog’s name to the school. I thought that was a really nice, thoughtful gesture.
And I’ve promised myself I will finish that stupid clay pawprint for my remaining living dog, who is 15 and whose days are numbered.
But if any of you, the vet, or any of my friends and family send me that goddamn rainbow bridge poem, I will have to cut a bitch. I hate that poem. Just makes me blubber.
My vet asked me if I’d like the clay pawprint, and yes I did.
They also, unasked, sent me a card a few weeks later.
I thought both were very thoughtful, and was touched that they took the trouble to do both.
I’ve thought about this too, actually. One of my cats (he’s very young, so hopefully I won’t have to deal with this for a very long time) who’s got the most gorgeous long tail, and occasionally I wonder if I might not want to keep it when many years from now I have to let him go. Then I immediately chided myself for being morbid. A fur clipping seems okay to me since you don’t have to “hurt” the pet to get it (yeah, I know, they’re dead and nothing hurts anymore, but you know what I mean). But a skull or a tail or a paw…I don’t think I could deal with that. But everybody’s different. One person’s comforting memento might be horrific to someone else. I agree that vets should be mindful of this and communicate with their clients.
To clarify, I think sending a card, planting a tree, sending flowers, making a donation, are all very sweet gestures even when done as a surprise. The WTF factor comes in when we’re talking about “surprise” handling of the pet himself (whether making medical decisions before, or funeral/memorial plans after).
Haven’t read all the responses but put me down for the “it’s sweet” camp.
In the last hospital I worked, they did the same thing for parents of premies that died.
I thought it was goulish, but apparently, parents were touched.
OMG! That’s where I’d really really really have to make absolutely sure they wanted this before taking the liberty of sending it. I can understand why some parents would want this, but I can also understand why some wouldn’t.
Yikes! I couldn’t think of the word to describe it but yes, ghoulish is exactly it; only because it was obviously done postmortem. My sweet bunny died a few months ago and it would have completely freaked me out to pull that out of the mailbox. But it was a truly lovely gesture and I could see how a lot of folks would treasure it.
Maybe I’m just desensitized by a decade of bagging and tagging, but I’m really confused by the idea that paw prints are creepy because it involves handling a dead pet. I mean, it’s really the least of the handling a dead animal gets–we close their eyes, clean them up if they’ve soiled themselves as the bowel and bladder tone went or are all bloody, express their bladders if needed so they won’t leak, wrap them in any blankets or towels you’ve brought to use for them, put them in a cadaver bag or burial box and then tote them to either the cooler or your car. At that point, what’s another 10 seconds to press their paw against an ink pad and then a piece of paper?
Would you be upset if the undertaker sent you a loved one’s finger prints as a memento?
No. A little confused as to why they’d think I wanted them, since fingerprints aren’t exactly a symbol associated with the love of a human the way paw prints are associated with having and loving pets, but not upset or squicked. We are, after all, talking about the people who pumped my loved one’s naked body full of chemicals, then dressed them, applied makeup to them, styled their hair, and posed them. After all that, what’s a little more touching?
Well, I don’t know if this will clarify things, but I view bathing a loved one as helpful and caring, and fingerprints/pawprints as unnecessary unless asked for. The body may not “contain” the person anymore, but it is still a representation of that person. So, similarly, if a nurse cares for my extremely ill grandma by cleaning her up if she messes herself, I view that positively. If a nurse decides, without asking, to take grandma’s fingerprints, I’m going to ask said nurse why they won’t just let grandma rest.
My viewpoint on this doesn’t substantially change after grandma dies; nor does it change if the decedent is a non-human loved one.
FWIW, I do view embalming as icky. My own plans include a green burial. At the same time, if a family requests/agrees to embalming, then you know you have their permission to do so. Permission is kind of the key point, here. My vet removed the feeding tube from Merlyn after he passed, but they did it because I asked them to. I closed his eyes myself.
Haven’t read all the responses yet, but I vote for sweet. When I had to have both cats and my dog all put down within a 6 month period (one cat and the dog were very old, other cat lost kidney function) the vet sent sympathy cards with clips of their fur. She also gave us their ashes in little urns with names on them.