I’d chew up and spit out anyone who wasn’t an alpha (and find them sort of cute in a bad kitten sort of way.)
The main issue I’m having is that they’re both hard to find and hard to hit on. (Alpha Doperettes, feel free to speak up if you want to get PMed!)
Beta in a heartbeat.
Sure, the limited view would be painful at a certain point, but I could at least make allowances and seek solice in intellectual minds elsewhere.
Whereas, being an intelligent, opinionated, emotional and passionate man, Alpha and I would clash like two blocks of near critical mass Plutonium. Entire social circles would lie wasted and destroyed in the wake of our detonation.
If they looked the same? Beta. If I want intellectual stimulation, I can always talk with myself.
But…what is this about how they handle people that I don’t know? Mean/Polite to strangers? Come onnnnn…If I had either one, I wouldn’t care how they treated outsiders. What am I, Dr. Phil?
greatshakes
GIven that I’m closely related to Alpha, methinks I ought’a date Beta, just so we can occasionally have a conversation about something that’s not either completely practical (what’s for dinner today?) or completely ethereal (the influence of chivalry novels on late middle-ages economics).
Mind you, this would require a Beta who didn’t have a problem with me going to the Dope or to see my pal Kael’thas while he went out with his buddies, but I would need “me time” in any case.
I offer to refrain from blaring Nightwish while he has a hangover, so long as he never, ever insists that I have to drink, go bowling or be nice to people I don’t give a shit about.
Alpha all the way. If I dated a Beta, I’d end up cheating on them with an Alpha.
Yeah, it’s a mistake and will end in tears, but I’ve come to terms with the idea that this is how relationships work out for me. I’m not looking for emotional support, I’m looking for someone who sets me on fire creatively, emotionally and intellectually, and Beta isn’t gonna do that.
While intellect is a huge turn-on for me, bitchiness - especially being bitchy at me -is a deal-breaker. If you’re not a nice person to be with, I won’t be with you.
Beta. Life is too short to consort with assholes. Anyone who mocks others for showing emotion or is needlessly rude is not someone I’m interested in spending a grea deal of time with.
Alpha, definitely.
Beta for dating, Beta for marriage. Beta, beta, beta.
I like witty dialogue, good debates, etc., but don’t really need it; it’s an intellectually stimulating diversion at best, but when my introversion asserts itself, I can’t deal with extroverted behavior. Sarcasm or mockery for my own sentiments or sensitivity? Fuck off, Alpha. Mean to strangers? I couldn’t even remain friends with Alpha.
I’m not the type of person who expects (or even wants) a partner to match me in intellectual pursuits, I’d rather they have their own interests. So Beta doesn’t like reading? Oh well, since Beta is loving and caring, Beta will like the fact that reading makes me happy, and also won’t make fun of me for my book choices, unlike her bitchy sister Alpha. Beta can curl up with me on the couch watching her favorite show while I read my favorite book.
The only problem with Beta: you ask who would be good for friends as well… and I think being friends with a warm, kind, loving, and (as assumed by the question) attractive Beta would be painful since I’d just wish it would be more.
Good lord, definitely beta… although my preference for a lifelong partner is definitely ‘none’. I think in marriage I’d go crazy with either an alpha or a beta, though, so I’d only marry one or the other with a gun to my head. But yeah, any kind of exclusive relationship in particular, beta. Mostly for the reasons people have mentioned - it’s better, for me, to have my warmth from a partner and intellectual stimulation from friends, of whom I can have many. Not least because even ideally, I’d do a fair bit of that anyway - cos the chances of finding another human that’s interested in all the same things as me are not so good.
Incidentally - is the terminology of this thread deliberately referring to the whole Alpha Male and Beta Male thing?
When I met my wife, she was what you’d describe as a beta – not a sparkling conversationalist, but warm and friendly.
Within months she developed brilliant, put-me-in-my-place comebacks, took more of an interest in a broader selection of books and was able to hold her own in any conversation. Her friends told me that I had “brought her out of her shell.” Yet she has never lost her warmth, friendliness or concern for other people.
Empathy can’t be learned or taught. And I can tell you after nearly 28 years of marriage, it’s a far more important quality than Algonquin-style wit.
They both sound like pains in the ass, though for different reasons.
Alpha’s emotional coldness and avoidance behavior sounds like she’s got some psychological issues that will probably cause no end of drama sooner or later. She’s probably interesting to talk to, and being intellectually challenged is a plus, but her instability will almost inevitably lead to arguments. Plus, she’s got a good chance of being bad in bed because she’s not comfortable with intimacy. If I’m wrong about that and she’s got no real hang-ups in the bedroom — if she’s into fucking and hot monkey sex — then that might be a bit different for the short term. Never being able to let your guard down and just relax with her would probably get on my nerves after a while, though. Hell, even though I’m a dude, I at least like a little bit of cuddling after sex. That’s not likely to be an option with Alpha. Datable, but no long-term potential.
Beta is a co-dependent emotional basketcase in the making, and probably boring. Like Fretful Porpentine said, I’d probably be bored with her and feeling guilty about it. Jealousy of an outside relationship is pretty much guaranteed with someone who is “supportive” like this. In the event that she’s actually nice enough and open enough to understand the need for the kind of social relationship she can’t provide, then it might work out, but the chances of a screwed up love-triangle, growing disinterest on my part, or something else going wrong are pretty high. She’s probably got the opposite problem from Alpha when it comes to naked happy fun time; all Lifetime Channel emotional connection “making love” all the time, no down-and-dirty screwing allowed. I’ve dated a couple of girls like this for a short time, but it’s never gone for long because uninteresting people aren’t fun to be around.
If I were single now, I wouldn’t be with either one for long. I’m older, wiser, and a little bit nicer than I used to be. In my twenties, I probably would have tried dating both at the same time and eventually gotten caught, or dumped one or the other after I got bored or fed up with her bullshit.
If I were forced to choose one of them for a spouse, I’d probably choose Beta just because she’d be a better wife and mother, and from a completely selfish point of view would be easier to manage. Like someone else pointed out, it’s easier to get someone to expand their horizons a little than to get someone to learn empathy, so it’s even possible that she could be less boring in the future. My tolerance for drama is a lot lower than it used to be, and Alpha seems like the kind of woman who would end up destroying a marriage and enjoy walking away with half of whatever we managed to build together. She’d be a bitch of an ex-wife, and a shitty mother while she was around.
My wife is genuinely nice and supportive, and is also at least as smart as me. She has different interests, but we’ve got enough overlap that we do have things we can enjoy together. She has slightly sappier taste in arts and media (go figure, she is a woman after all) but is almost as critical of badly-done books or movies as I am. She’s not afraid to tell me when I’m full of shit, but isn’t actively disparaging. In other words, she’s a good match for me, which is why I married her.
I third this. (Assuming the genders of the twins are reversed.) I’m something of an Alpha, and while I’ve always enjoyed dating other Alphas, dating Betas has just left me feeling horrible and avoiding their phone calls after a few weeks. Flying plates and repartee, please!
Alpha could possibly discover a subject to fire his/her emotions, and Beta, likewise, his/her intellect, but I’d rather be single than with either in a fixed state. Yay for Free Will.
eta typo.