This is, of course, a somewhat less shallow version of the poll in this thread.
Let’s say that you have the choice of being romantically involved with one and only one of a pair of identical twins. Both are comely, both like you, and both are quite wonderful bedmates.
Alpha Twin is a great conversationalist, able to discourse on a variety of subjects you find interesting and quick with a joke, which you always find funny. But he/she is also cold. I don’t mean that Alpha is mean or abusive to you; far from it. But Alpha is uncomfortable with any emotional conversation and quickly changes the subject; likewise, the slightest hint of sentiment to an occasion is a guarantee of either visible discomfort during or mockery afterwards. Alpha also is abrupt and rude with anyone whose good opinion he or she doesn’t need–servers, strangers on the street, etc.
Beta Twin is not nearly the conversationalist Alpha is. Beta would hate the Dope because it involves too much reading, and thinks Leave it to Beaver the height of dramaturgy. But Beta is genuinely warm to everyone he or she meets, and ten times that warm to you. If you have a bad day, Beta will listen to you vent for as long as it takes, and never judges or criticizes.
Which would you prefer to be friends with? Date? Marry?
I’ve dated and been friends with a few of each, and I’d have to go with Beta. The Alphas are fun for a few weeks but eventually they end up pissing you off. With the Betas, they actually treat you like a human being AND you can do something that’s naturally fun, like drink at a bar or go to an Amusement Park and still have fun even if the conversation is blah.
Unfortunately, that sick bastard Fabulous Creature has rigged things so that if Alpha & Beta are ever naked in the same room together, you (and i specifically mean Bosca will be eaten alive by naked mole rats.
This. I don’t mind nice people who aren’t bright but I can’t date them for long (I’ve tried.) I really hate cold nasty people, no matter how smart they are. I’d like someone who is emotionally open and kind and can talk about art and ideas.
If I had to choose, I’d go with Beta.
I could find friends to have fun and intellectual conversations with to fill that lack with Beta.
On the other hand, dealing with sarcasm and emotional coldness from Alpha all the time would make my home stressful for me. I don’t know how you make up for not feeling comfortable in your home the way you could make up for the lack of intellectual discussion.
If “that sick bastard Fabulous Creature” was going to kill me unless I chose one, I’d go with Beta. I can find intellectual stimulation with friends who don’t want to jump my bones, but if I’m going to have a relationship I need tenderness and emotional intimacy. Without that, I might as well be curling up in bed with a book and a vibrator.
I’d prefer neither, though. I’d rather be alone or dating multiple people than settling for a single person who doesn’t meet all of my needs.
If I had to date or marry one of them, I suppose I’d pick Alpha. Dating Beta would mean not only being bored to tears most of the time, but constantly feeling guilty about being bored to tears, and I think I’d find that next to impossible to live with.
Ditto. I suspect that I have alpha tendencies myself, and I’d rather bounce off of another alpha than sap emotional support from a beta while being unwilling/unable to share so much of myself. Plus, nobody likes being bored to tears. Nobody. I’d want out of Relationship B faster than you can say “none of the above”.