Yeah, I just love that one. I knew the slang meaning but thought it also referred to actually flying a kite and mentioned that the whole family should go out in the desert and Chuk Wao. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law, a stern and elderly lady, my wife, and my 18 year-old daughter were in the car with me. :o The trip home was very quiet.
Testy
Having a “J.Arthur”
As in J.Arthur Rank = Wank
As has been pointed out around here, anything can sound dirty if said right:
"She’s…redecoration her den :eek: "
"He’s…adjusting his carborator :eek: :eek: :eek: "
But I do think they’re a too much tip to the side of guys masturbating. We need to work up some more female terms…how about dunking the little man in the boat?
Funny, I was just thinking about that. That “pull your finger out” was pretty much a respectable term even if it implied your finger in your ass.
The English are interesting people.
Cuff the carrot
Slam the ham
Doing Mother Thumb and her four daughters
None of the above. I’m afraid you have to brush up on your 1950s kid’s shows.
It was gravel-voiced Andy Devine, and his show was The Andy Devine Show, not Howdy Doody. the 50s were filled with many now-forgotten children’s programming – Rootie Kazootie, Winky Dink and You, Ding Dong School, and many far more obscure. Howdy Doody and Mickey Mouse were not the sole rulers.
Could be. My ex is the only person I know to say it at all, much less in the context of masturbation. However, that is the context he used it in.
More on Andy devine and his kids show Andy’s Gang:
If you recall Clinton’s Surgeon General’s advice about masturbation…
Josslin’ the elders.
I can’t take credit for that one. In fact, I think I read it on these boards some time ago.
I went through the whole page making sure that no one else already said it, and you snuck it past me.
Maybe my fingers get more exercise than yours 
I saw the same thread you did that first mentioned the term. I love it!
Glad to lend a hand.
Two pages into this thread on this board and nobody’s done: Killing Kittens?
also:
Roughing up the suspect
Whipping the weasel
Soaking the sock
Summoning the geenie
Voting
Buttering the noodle
A local radio personality by the name of Daria O’Neil once did a fabulous bit on 94.7 NRK entitled “101 Euphemisms for Female Masturbation” that I’d give a nickel to have a copy of (along with recordings of the “Mark Trail” segments her brother did,) but alas it seems to have dropped from the face of the planet. A couple I remember were:
Polishing the O’Keefe
Parting the Meat Curtains
It went on forever and nearly caused me to wreck my vehicle from laughing so hard…
From my youth:
Having a toss/tossing off
Pulling yer pud
A ham shank
This thread really isn’t worth it’s starch without the following:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=153303554&s=143441&i=5256732
From www.therealhappyhour.com (a helluva great place)
“Shaking hands with the monkey’s best friend.”