Polling: Popular terms for masturbation

Another thread about a guy who masturbates four times a day got me to wondering how many expreessions there are in popular culture for masturbation.

Your contributions are welcome. Here are some I have heard.

Strangling the snake
Milking the snake
The puking lizard
The five-fingered date
The cheap date
Jerking off
Whacking off
Striking oil
priming the pump

In French:

Se crosser (somehow related to Lacrosse)
Se passer un Willy


Punching the Munchkin

I’ve heard most of them before…therefore, I’ll make one up. Since most of them male-oriented, I’l make one up for the ladies:

Giving the Man in the Boat a noogie

These are always funny (not sure of the source, but they’ve been all over the net for years):


UK: “cracking one off” is quite common.

My favourite though - Hong Kong: “Dah feh geh” (literally, “beating the airplane”).

Having a pull.

Rub one out.
Beat the meat.
Choke the chicken.

For women: Double clicking the mouse.

Most of the following are probably Britishisms:

“Bashing the bishop”
“Spanking the monkey”
“Teasing one out”
“Relaxing in a gentleman’s way”
“Tossing off”
“Fun with Pamela and her five little friends”
“Jacking off”
“Going for a J. Arthur Rank”
“Having a game of 5 against 1”

I’ve always been partial to “flicking* the bean.”

  • Or your favorite verb.

My roomie and I decided many years ago that really just about and verb and noun can be used in this sense. We just call it “Verbing the Noun.”


Stickin’ It To The Man

Exercising The Pocket Veto

Flying Solo

Yanking the Lanyard

Using the Self-Service Pump

George Carlin gave us these for the ladies:

The Two Finger Tango

Makin’ Soup

Beatin’ the Beaver

This is what I’m going to call it from now on.

Jay Leno referred to it as “Dougy-ing the Howser”. Ya gotta love it.

Some friends and I had an informal contest to see who could come up with the best euphemism a few years back. My offer was:

Giving the Champ his Rubdown

A friend came up with:

Having a Stroke of Genius

In the Steve Martin flick Parenthood, Keanu Reeves called it Slappin’ the Salami.

How About

“Straightening the Dope” ?

“Frig” is used a lot in 19th-century porn.

Having a Wank/Wanking is popular in England (at least according to the Bottom live shows)

Coming unscrewed.

Take matters in your own hands.

Writing off your losses.

Making sausage gravy.

Whipping heavy cream.

Wax on, wax off.

Purging the prostate.



I forgot:

Whippin’ up some baby batter.

For the ladies:

Pumping the treadle

Goddamnit! I am not resting until this euphemism, uh, takes off. :smiley: