Polling: Popular terms for masturbation

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#1

Another thread about a guy who masturbates four times a day got me to wondering how many expreessions there are in popular culture for masturbation.

Your contributions are welcome. Here are some I have heard.

Strangling the snake
Milking the snake
The puking lizard
The five-fingered date
The cheap date
Jerking off
Whacking off
Striking oil
priming the pump

In French:

Se crosser (somehow related to Lacrosse)
Se passer un Willy

IT WOULD ESPECIALLY BE FUN TO KNOW IF SOME EXPRESSIONS ARE LOCAL, E.G., THE US SOUTH, ENGLAND, EUROPE.

#2

Punching the Munchkin

#3

I’ve heard most of them before…therefore, I’ll make one up. Since most of them male-oriented, I’l make one up for the ladies:

Giving the Man in the Boat a noogie

#4

These are always funny (not sure of the source, but they’ve been all over the net for years):

:smiley:

#5

UK: “cracking one off” is quite common.

My favourite though - Hong Kong: “Dah feh geh” (literally, “beating the airplane”).

#6

Having a pull.

#7

Rub one out.
Beat the meat.
Choke the chicken.

For women: Double clicking the mouse.

#8

Most of the following are probably Britishisms:

“Bashing the bishop”
“Spanking the monkey”
“Teasing one out”
“Relaxing in a gentleman’s way”
“Tossing off”
“Fun with Pamela and her five little friends”
“Jacking off”
“Going for a J. Arthur Rank”
“Having a game of 5 against 1”

#9

I’ve always been partial to “flicking* the bean.”

  • Or your favorite verb.
#10

My roomie and I decided many years ago that really just about and verb and noun can be used in this sense. We just call it “Verbing the Noun.”

Examples:

Stickin’ It To The Man

Exercising The Pocket Veto

Flying Solo

Yanking the Lanyard

Using the Self-Service Pump

George Carlin gave us these for the ladies:

The Two Finger Tango

Makin’ Soup

Beatin’ the Beaver

#11

This is what I’m going to call it from now on.

#12

Jay Leno referred to it as “Dougy-ing the Howser”. Ya gotta love it.

#13

Some friends and I had an informal contest to see who could come up with the best euphemism a few years back. My offer was:

Giving the Champ his Rubdown

A friend came up with:

Having a Stroke of Genius

#14

In the Steve Martin flick Parenthood, Keanu Reeves called it Slappin’ the Salami.

#15

How About

“Straightening the Dope” ?

#16

“Frig” is used a lot in 19th-century porn.

#17

Having a Wank/Wanking is popular in England (at least according to the Bottom live shows)

#18

Coming unscrewed.

Take matters in your own hands.

Writing off your losses.

Making sausage gravy.

Whipping heavy cream.

Wax on, wax off.

Purging the prostate.

Handiwork.

Slippindictomy.

#19

I forgot:

Whippin’ up some baby batter.

#20

For the ladies:

Pumping the treadle

Goddamnit! I am not resting until this euphemism, uh, takes off. :smiley: