I do mean couples: two people settling on a term. Individuals are welcome to reply with their favorite eupemism for the sex act, too, but I’m mostly interested in seeing the ones that have passed muster for common usage with two people (the same ones who eventually proceed to act on it). If it’s somehow relevant (god knows what people have come up with), you might need to post the genders involved to make it clear.
As for us, a heterosexual couple, we pork. 
We fuck.
Keeps those little misunderstandings at bay
The wife and I call it vaccuming. Long story, but if you say “I wanna vaccum” without making a sound, your lips look like your saying “I wanna fuck you”. Its funny for someone who is married I guess.
We (a het couple) do “don’t fall asleep— no you don’t fall asleep.”
For special occasions-- like the kids are gone we have the place to ourselves-- we have “livingroom sex”. It doesn’t have to be in the livingroom, but we know what we mean.
robgruver I was killing myself laughing at your post. It’s just the sort of ‘private joke’ that makes you smile at odd moments 
Thanks for sharing it !
DH and I have a wide range of names for the act, depending on mood.
Sometimes it’s a ‘bit’, in the great Aussie male tradition of asking “Wanna bit?”
Sometimes it’s ‘jiggy’. The word just makes us laugh.
Sometimes it’s ‘a telling’ because that’s how a woman needs to be ‘told’ sometimes 
Sometimes it’s ‘a pleasuring’, usually when the person is in the mood to totally indulge the other.
“Lashings” short for ‘tongue-lashings’ is often used, even though it only refers to cunnilingus, it never stops there, and so implies the whole act.
The wife and I call it “Merlin’s Magic Hour.” Don’t ask.
If it’s close to bedtime, we use these:
“Do you want to get in bed?” = sex
“Do you want to get in bed and read / watch TV?” = no sex
In our house “nice shoes” is how we say “wanna have sex?” This started in college as one of the guys on his floor told some innane story about worst pickup lines that worked or something… All we took from it was the “nice shoes” part.
So we always crack up when someone tells my daughter what nice new shoes she has (she’s 2 and into showing off her new sandals)
However when the munchkin is over grandma’s then we have “wild monkey sex”
Nookie
Tech support.
Long story, but we also get to throw in phrases like “needing more RAM” and “installing a hard drive.”
Tanookie we use the “nice shoes” line in our house too. The other choice phrase is “go for a visit”.
What, noone says “wanna bump uglies” anymore?
These are hilarious.
We “Do Laundry”…as opposed to the nights that we just do laundry.
Of course, there’s good old-fashioned fucking, too.
“Tech support”. I like it.
karol
“Let’s poke.”
“Yeah, ok.”
Or…
“I want kisses.”
“Only if I get touchings.”
“Yeah, ok.”
Hey, I forgot! We have “hot monkey sex” whenever someone is suggesting openness to some (unspecified) act that the mainstream would consider deviant, as opposed to vanilla fuckery, which is “porking”.
I guess fuckery is up there, too, huh? We also say that.
And, this may as well descend to specific acts, do anyone have better names for say, “anal sex”? We shortened buttfuck to “BF”, which is handy, because then it can be discussed in the general sense as BFery, or “Fing one’s B” or so on.
That may sound lame, but this thread is about finding the highest common denominator of sexual language in a couple, and “fuck my ass” doesn’t work for both of us.
Snugglebunnies.
It comes from an old Bloom County strip, where Milo and Binkley get a memo from the editor saying that “snugglebunnies” is on the “naughty words” list. They scoff at this and chant “Snugglebunnies!” a few times until they’re cut off mid-word, and the strip ends. My husband and I loved Bloom County, and so we kind of adopted that as a funny phrase for sex.
[hijack]I would occasionally refer to tampons as “chartreuse flamethrowers” - taken from another strip where the guys of the cast are meeting, and one of them asks what the heck “feminine protection” is, suggesting sarcastically, “chartreuse flamethrowers?”[/hijack]
But Ferret, dear! You leave out the best part from that strip series! When the ardent young woman who is placing the classified tells young Milo she’s looking for “snugglebunnies”, he asks for clarification. She pauses and refines her answer. Sweaty snugglebunnies!
The 14-letter “S” word?!?
“We need to talk”
My partner and I call it Da roodie roodie or when we’re feeling a bit more mature it’s known as visiting the honey-pot in the forest
Kunga