We need new euphimisms for 'penis'

Subject pretty much says it all.

You guys (and gals) know what to do…

there’s already millions of 'em… euphimisms, that is… just read “Penthouse Letters ™”… not that I would know…

besides, my “MIghty Python of Love” needs no fance name!

The Larch.

we sooo don’t

The One-eyed snake
The hot beef injection
The trouser snake
Pocket Rocket

Jacobson and John-Thomas are my choice euphs. That’s pronounced “yoofs.”


People, please.

We need new ones. Snazzy ones. Cool ones.


My name…

is Inigo Montoya

Dave Barry has pointed out that the names of former US Presidents can be used for this purpose:

Benjamin Harrison
Herbert Hoover
John Adams
Franklin Pierce
Rutherford B. Hayes

We need new euphimisms for 'penis’


limp biscuit

Weapon of Mass Destruction.
More or less any weapon. Aside from ‘dirk’ or ‘derringer’. More like ‘lucrene hammer’ and ‘2-handed great sword’.
1-eyed trouser boa.
Trouser tuba.

(No, I don’t have anything to prove.)

Rocket Crowbar.

I can’t be the only one who has nearly every HL mod known to man… can I?

I have a male friend who fancies the term “meatpipe”

MANROOT!!! :smiley:

my brains.

meat roll

snapping turtle (tell me if that won’t get your girls attention)


The little Moses (think about it)

And I’m deeply ashamed for thinking these things when reading this thread.

Throatwoarbler-mangrove. :slight_smile:

Baby Injector
Or if you practice safe sex
The man in the rubber hat.

Freedom Fry

Eddy (heck just as random as willy)

Mr. Twitchy


I could go on…but I won’t.