‘Skeaking’ typed, ‘Speaking’ intended. (Warning given previously indeed appropriate).
Unfortunately, negative indicator’s compliance failure nullifies entire message’s success.
Cartoon caption 1: Two intellectuals (you can tell because they wear glasses) stagger away from a clump of bushes, with their clothing rumpled.
Guy says to girl: “Sandra, it would appear evident that, with my 9 1/2-inch tumescence and your undersized vaginal opening, we have achieved sexual ecstasy!”
Cartoon caption 2: Two naked people in woods, holding butterfly nets.
Woman to man: “I concur, Professor! Biological studies need not be restricted to entomology. Interpersonal relationships and coitus also merit attention.”
Cartoon caption 3: Physician speaking with shapely, bespectacled woman examining biological slides:
He: “I’d like to examine what’s in that dress, Miss Tibbs!”
*She: “Why have you not heretofore indicated the interest you have thus evinced? I assure you I would not have elected to dress in such a revealing style unless I intended to attract your undivided attention!”
Damnable polysyllables surely become Wastrel’s downfall. Sentence structure becomes exceedingly difficult after typing primary sentence. Wastrel suddenly becoming distraught, frustrated even. Cannot continue typing presently before cranial area explodes, becoming horrendous messy pile. Wastrel suddenly realizes sentence choices become very limited. Wastrel also realizes escape impossbile. Other possible sentences probably exist; however, barely any appear obvious. Also Wastrel notices not very many first-person pronouns used, therefore third-person pronouns imperative. Sonuvabitch! head explodes
Damned typing! Wastrel suddenly realizes “not” therein previous message non-acceptable.
Posters becoming tangled, swimming swampy morass-like polysyllabic structure limitations. Wastrel fortunate, possessing polysyllabic label. Author, lupine frozen wanderer, resorts sadly, amid convolutions. Exit possible? Infinite polysyllabic attempts likely. Notice computer/science fiction novella similarities regarding structures herein, people?
Wastrel needed corrections many multiples above necessary amount. Perhaps inebriation assists vocabulary flexibilty because UncleBill imbibed several cervezas before posting herein, without challenging either cerebral hemisphere, whichever exists better under influence.
Correction:
Damnable Coding! Preview! Preview!
Unfortunately, many posters included forbidden monosyllabic terminology (naming avoided). Naughty posters! Utilize friendly preview! Tally syllables before submitting! Feline extends benevolent advice.
Obviously, polysyllabic discussions frustrate many Dopers. Consider posting shorter messages. Longer attempts produce decreased coherency.
Shorter messages merely inhibit practicing linguistic flexibility. Sincere attempts conducted toward accomplishing original idea herein, concurrently creating paragraphs beyond solo sentences, invigorates Dopers appreciably without sacrificing accuracy. Concentration, originality, imagination. Therein resides intelligence, perchance genious!
Indeed, Unclebill. Mysphyt offers analogies: Homo Doper Vocabulary:Homo Sapiens Vocabulary::Entire Universe:Juvenile, Ingrown Pinky Toenail. Advocating shorter messages suggests Dopers maintain, limited–daresay dinky–lexicons, mentioning nothing regarding structural, syntactical abilities. Clearly, even average dopers flawlessly, easily offer complex (although readable) messages. Unfortunately, however, many messages include myriad fragments, runons, comma splices, missing pronouns, indeed, previous enumeration omits several other grammatical missteps.
Mysphyt, humblest poster, accepts grammatical imperfection. Indeed, Mysphyt–newbie extraordinaire-- classifies himself substandard, below average, merely homo sapiens, perhaps even earlier, evolutionarily.
Suggestion: vBulletin coding often includes monosyllabic utterances. Many Dopers–UncleBill, jadailey, Subzero Lupine Mammal, myself, others–submitted messages including aforementioned monosyllabic coding instances. Pluto? Acceptable?
–
Mysphyt, sigless wonder.
Granted. Alas, present poster previously assumed signature verbiage outside stated discussion parameters. Nevertheless, future compliance promised hereupon.
Balance: Excellent variation upon familiar colorful statement! Scientific vocabulary obviously useful. Kudos lavishly bestowed upon creative author.
Realized belatedly premise violated within message sequence title. Previous compliant title modified immediately before presstime. Apologies.
Query regarding vBulletin coding answered affirmatively. Usage certainly acceptable.
Criminey! Prepositions attempting entrance everywhere! Victory barely possible! Excelsior!
“Subzero lupine mammal”! Excellent! Truly appreciated, Mysphyt.
Holy Horsey Poopy, posting unto current message thingy requires stopping many prepositonal usages!
Freakin’ difficult!
Smileys aren’t polysyllabic entries either! Posting smileys? Discouraged!
Monosyllabic signature inclusions? Forbidden!
Carry onward.
Posting Smilies always verbotten. Details? Inquire horny sailor ChiefScott. Coffee assists verbal creativity, invigorates cerebral area within ranges required. Also ranges requiring normal participation within daily activities, excuse digression. Coffee necessary daily unless UncleBill desires unemployment benefits forthwith! Slumber continuing equals career limitations. Again, excuse digression. Smilies evil.
“Holy Horsey Poopy”? Criminy!
Coffee? Caffeine enables user better creativity?
:slurping coffee: Caffeine progressing…stomache receiveing…body absorbing…
Yummy.
Dolores finding current topic extremely amusing. Also intriguing. Dopers very intelligent. Creative, even! Dolores proudly congratulates everyone!
UncleBill, Doperly erudition aside, concise articulation facilitates communication. Shorter messages admirably convey meaning (granting proper construction), besides reducing poster frustration. Carefully chosen phrasing often avoids awkward constructions. Multiple messages provide ample vocabulary expansion opportunities, without causing posters any undue difficulties.
<Graciously acknowledges toroidal-pastry-related applause.>