I need to see more movies. I don’t recognize a lot of these.
My hot ex-girlfriend and her annoyingly upstanding boyfriend decide to bother me at work. AITA for not supporting their hopeless cause?
I wasn’t even sure you existed outside the imagination of your brother’s friend. Stay strong, and remember how to kick high
AITA?
I’m a government agent who’s been working for years to bring a cyber criminal and violent terrorist to justice. This particular criminal has brought others in on his cause, including a woman who cracked the IRS database.
I discovered the name of the terrorist’s next recruitment target, and apprehended him at his place of work. I was unable to get any information out of him through an interrogation, so I had him bugged against his will, but when he was picked up by the terrorist cell, they discovered the bug and disabled it.
Here’s where I think I might be the asshole. I got in touch with a dissatisfied member of his group and he agreed to turn on him. I’m now sending him back to his cell with orders to help us capture the leader and kill the rest of them.
AITA?
Drum_God
Charter Member
15h
My asshole brother skipped school AGAIN to go running around town with his girlfriend (she is so hot – she could do much better than him). Anyway, asshole brother also talked his best friend into ditching school. Brother pretended he was sick and now the whole school thinks he has some awful disease and is near death. Still, the three of them have a big time, going to a Cubs game, having a lunch at a fancy restaurant (and walking the check), and even singing in a stupid parade. Somehow, the friend’s dad’s really expensive car got totaled in all of this.
Am I the asshole for trying to get the school principal to bust my brother for skipping?
SAVE FERRIS!
AITA for knocking my little brother down a peg?
I’m the second oldest of three brothers (There’s kind of a fourth who’s sort of adopted, but we’re Sicilian and he’s Irish). My older brother, Santino, was all set to take over the Business (Our Thing) when Pop died, but he got in a squabble with some business rivals and, long story short, he’s no longer in the picture. So I’m ready to step up and take the reins—I’m not stupid like people say, I’m SMART!—but my little brother, who I’ll call “Michael,” makes this big gory power play in a restaurant in Brooklyn, hides a pistol in the John, and yada yada, has to go hide out in Sicily for a couple seasons. When he comes back, Dad acts like he’s the Prodigal Son, puts him in charge of everything, and after Dad’s funeral, I’m sidelined watching some hotel in Vegas. I could take orders from my little brother, or I could make nice with the locals—some non-family business associates here and in Havana—and carve out a little something for Yours Truly, and bang a bunch of showgirls on the side. What would you do? Yeah? Well, that’s what I did.
Cut to the chase, I’m on the outs with everybody in New York AND Lake Tahoe now, and our mother dies and I can’t NOT go to the funeral. Should I get my sister to intervene on my behalf, or should I just stay on the outs in the hinterlands? This could be my Hail Mary play here.
AITA for leaving my sort of girlfriend? I (18m) was recently fired from the grocery store because the manager didn’t like me, my girl left me for my best friend (I’ll call him Duke), and my mom and dad gave all my money for school to a preacher on TV. So I meet up with this guy who repos cars (I’ll call him Bud). At first I didn’t want to take money doing this but I realize it’s a way to make money and I start to get good at it. That’s when I meet Leila. We hang out a bit, she’s nice except she works for these fruitcakes, and we get along pretty well except the time she had me tortured. So work has this big bounty for an old Chevy Malibu and everyone is trying to find it. My friend Duke is shot while robbing a convenience store and Bud is shot by the government after finding the Malibu so I feel like I need a change of pace. That’s when the mechanic at the shop gets into the Malibu and it’s glowing green and he knows that people have traveled through time in their spaceships. I go to get in and Leila says “What about our relationship?” I said back “Fuck that” and I got into the car and we flew off into space. Should I have stayed with Leila?
I am a single conservative mother with so much on her plate already. Of my greatest concern is my only daughter who is finding it difficult to fit into High School. A big dance is coming up and all I ask is that she not show her ‘dirty pillows’ to the entire graduating class. AITA?
I said I would help a lost little girl find her way home. But in the process I put her in danger and tricked her into taking out my biggest rival. She did make a few friends along the way, at least. I enjoy a very good reputation, and my rival had a terrible reputation, but some say that I was the asshole in this scenario. AITA?
I grew up in Italy during the war. After the war, there was not much future for young girls, so I married an American solider, and moved to some hellhole called “Iowa”. Gawd it’s terrible, and my husband isn’t much of a husband. We have two teenage children, but there is no passion between us.
So anyway, this real looker of a photographer comes through town, taking pictures of bridges (seriously? Americans are weird) for some magazine, and we hit it off. And the sex is…(blushes). Boy, this must be what love i supposed to be like!
I want to abandon my marriage and kids and run off with this wonderful man, and live my life like I want, not some domestic slave to my husband, with no future. AITA?
I was on a flight to Chicago and was seated next to this really uptight guy, I think he worked in marketing or something. I tried to entertain him with stories about my job selling shower curtain rings, but he just ignored me and went on reading his magazine. When the flight got diverted to Wichita I took pity on him and helped him get a hotel room, and he had the nerve to call me an annoying blabbermouth. I even gave him a ride in my rental car after I saw him getting beat up by a cabbie (I don’t know what he could have done to provoke him). He just complained about my foot odor and accused me of stealing his credit card to pay for the car. I mean, his credit card did somehow end up in my wallet and I did use it to pay for the car, but I assumed he’d given it to me on purpose to repay me for all the help I’d given him. We did eventually bond during the drive to Chicago and he repaid me by inviting me to spend Thanksgiving with his family. AITA?
I’m a mid level corporate executive in a really large company. It’s very difficult to get noticed, let alone promoted, unless you are willing to take risks.
I got a lead on a possible source for something that might be a very profitable product. In order to protect my position, I let no one in on what I knew. I sent our on-site representatives to investigate, but I decided not to warn them of any potential dangers. People were…hurt. It didn’t go well.
What else could I do? What if it didn’t even exist, huh? I didn’t know! So now, if I went in and made a major security issue out of it, everybody steps in. Administration steps in, and there are no exclusive rights for anybody; nobody wins. So I made a decision and it was… wrong. It was a bad call.
AITA?
I used to be in the military, special ops. But I got burned out because our side was as bad as the enemy. I decided to make a little money on the side, but it didn’t work out. They sentenced me to life in prison. For bank robbery! Can you believe it?
Anyway, they offered to commute my sentence if I rescued some president from people that were holding him hostage. I said, sure I got nothin’ else to do. That’s the kind of shit I used to do, back in the day.
But it turns out, there’s more going on. This president says he is going to stop a nuclear war! Sure buddy.
He pissed me off, he wasn’t grateful enough for all I did for him rescuing him, so I destroyed a taped presentation that was supposed to stop the war. I don’t care. Fuck you.
AITA?
I’m the most powerful person in my organization, but the guys at the top won’t promote me. Now, those same guys are off to arrest a bad guy (that I told them about!) but they won’t let me come along. AITA if I go behind their backs anyway?
I am the boss of a long-established concern. One night, while conducting business, an orphan accidentally came back to my headquarters. It seems really inconvenient, and would raise too many unanswerable questions, if I returned the baby, so I asked one of my oldest, most trusted employees, my top man, who had no children of his own, to raise him.
Over time it became increasingly obvious to everyone that the boy was adopted. But I deliberately kept the truth from him all these years, because his real father was a naughty man.
AITA?
Yes, some would say I should have disclosed my religious affiliation when I went into politics. But I don’t think it’s that simple. I’m a member of a, shall we call it spiritual association, which by it’s very nature can only ever have a small membership. It is often slandered for some of our unusual practices, especially by another, influential, and somewhat larger spiritual association. Do we really want being private about ones beliefs, to be seen as a bad thing?
Anyway, after many years of serving my constituency well, I was entrusted with the highest office of the realm. I think that serves to show my stated policies was seen to benefit everybody, regardless of creed or culture. Taking over the tools of power, I saw lack of centralization as the main problem, and sought to rectify that. That was not a painless process, I’ll readily admit. But everywhere possible I thought to foster connections and build bridges between people. I myself recruited my own second-in-command from the adversarial order I mentioned above.
But eventually the cat was out of the bag, my spiritual affiliation became publicly known. The unofficial leader of said adversarial order showed up at my private office, a weird little fellow with a speech impediment. He was most rude and made an unholy fuss. And so, yes, I threw a chair at him. I threw several.
AITA?
Search your feelings, that will let you know what is true about the situation
YTA, but I still like you, man. Make your friend some nice grub to make up for it. Have you brought any taters?
Don’t you mean
Feelings you must search. Knowledge from within will, come, hmmm. Truth will free you, it will.
I was born and raised on the planet Kamino. At 18 I joined the Imperial Stormtrooper Corps, because that’s just what you do when you’re a clone, you know? Even though marksmanship wasn’t really my strong suit, I got this great assignment on this new military instillation the Empire was building. It was the size of a small moon! Amazing what the Empire can accomplish! Well this terrorist from Tatooine (lousy sand planet) apparently didn’t think so. I was one of the lucky ones who made it to the escape pods in time. So many of my brethren died that day.
But now I’m hearing rumors that Emperor Palpatine is actually some kind of Sith Master or something, and that he and Vader are just manipulating us with some kind of mind control, along with some kind of obedience coding we were given when we were first cloned. AITA for supporting the Empire?
I was traveling with my best friend’s mom. It was really emotionally charged because she has a dangerous stalker. AITA for having sex with her? I think all of the emotions got to us, and she was into it, but (long story) I think now I’m my friend’s bio-dad.