Poorly describe a movie plot as a Reddit AITA

[Tibby]

Yes, YATA… because your booty-call boy could’ve fit on that door and you know it.

[Chelonaut]

@Just_Asking_Questions

They don’t like the food I make, either! Well, I do! Why can’t they just be happy! I don’t like it when they are like that!

AITA?

NTA! NTA! NTA! And I like the food! And I’m happy! Happy!! All is good!!!

[iamatractorboy]

Is anyone else baffled by the vast majority of these?

[Tibby]

AITA for loving someone way out of my weight class?

I live off the grid—lush island, killer sunsets, trees tall enough to touch the sky. Then a pack of strangers shows up with flashing lights and noisy gadgets. And there she is: tiny, dazzling, fearless… well, mostly. Boner-time, I must admit.

We hang out. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have whisked her off her feet to my cliff-side man-cave to impress her with the waterfall view. But I never hurt her; we just watched clouds and let the world feel small.

Next thing I know, the city slickers drag me across the ocean like some carnival sideshow. My little lady tries to calm me down, but the locals start yelling “big stupid ape!” Racist much? Labels sting, even through three inches of fur.

Yeah, I might’ve done a little unauthorized rooftop sightseeing. So shoot me. Folks say love between worlds—and body sizes—was doomed.

So tell me, AITA for climbing too high for someone I thought was worth the view?

[Reeses_Monkey]

I certainly am. I’ve tried guessing but I’m never sure if I have the right movie or not.

[Just_Asking_Questions]

@iamatractorboy

Is anyone else baffled by the vast majority of these?

About half. And of those, most I had never seen. I missed Loki’s AITA because, as noted, it was more of a character arc than a movie plot but it still worked. I just didn’t see it.

I’m just hoping for the ones I still don’t know, someone lets out a clue before I have to ask.

[Chelonaut]

@Tibby

Yeah, I might’ve done a little unauthorized rooftop sightseeing. So shoot me. Folks say love between worlds—and body sizes—was doomed.

So tell me, AITA for climbing too high for someone I thought was worth the view?

Whether or not YTA is beside the point. Climbing was a bad idea, in terms of survival. To quote a brief analysis:

‘‘Twas beauty killed the beast’, said the Dean, who liked to say things like that.
‘No it wasn’t,’ said the Chair. ‘It was it splatting into the ground like that.’

[JohnT]

I think mine was very obvious, but yes, it may help if we spoiler the movie we are AITA’ing…

Titanic

[Just_Asking_Questions]

@iamatractorboy

Is anyone else baffled by the vast majority of these?

OK I guess I’m not ashamed. I don’t get:

@HeyHomie

My dad is an alcoholic, broke former golf pro. He wants to get back into the game so he can afford to send me to ballet school in Paris,

@HeyHomie

Back when I was a teenager I fooled around with an occult book and wound up with a trickster demon I couldn’t get rid of. Now I’m an adult and he’s back.

@Andy_L

So there I was grieving over my dead sister, when this meddling acquaintance of mine stole from my sister’s body and gave the loot to this kid

@HeyHomie

Some new prisoner to the prison where I’m doing time, a lifer who killed his wife, wants me to smuggle in some sort of rock-carving tool.

@Shoeless

I just got out of prison. I was mostly hanging out with my brother, but my crazy ex-girlfriend kept following us around.

@Sherrerd

So I took this job that seemed a little sketchy, but the money was good. Then my partner got killed and the cops liked me for it.

@beowulff

My hot ex-girlfriend and her annoyingly upstanding boyfriend decide to bother me at work.

@Yodalicious

I’m the most powerful person in my organization, but the guys at the top won’t promote me.

@Horatio_Hellpop

I’m schtupping a shiksa goddess.

This sounds like some Woody Allen ovie, but dammed if I recognize it.

@Chelonaut

So I’m a gunner on a very, very long space cruiser. Right now we’re chasing a small, not very fast spaceship.

@Author_Balk

I moved to a poor neighborhood from a faraway place. I’ll be upfront. My dietary needs are different than the locals.

[Chelonaut]

Those I guessed with spoiler blurring

@Just_Asking_Questions

@HeyHomie

My dad is an alcoholic, broke former golf pro. He wants to get back into the game so he can afford to send me to ballet school in Paris,

The new Happy Gilmore movie I think

@HeyHomie

Back when I was a teenager I fooled around with an occult book and wound up with a trickster demon I couldn’t get rid of. Now I’m an adult and he’s back.

@Andy_L

So there I was grieving over my dead sister, when this meddling acquaintance of mine stole from my sister’s body and gave the loot to this kid

Wizard of oz

@HeyHomie

Some new prisoner to the prison where I’m doing time, a lifer who killed his wife, wants me to smuggle in some sort of rock-carving tool.

Shawshank redemption

@Shoeless

I just got out of prison. I was mostly hanging out with my brother, but my crazy ex-girlfriend kept following us around.

??

@Sherrerd

So I took this job that seemed a little sketchy, but the money was good. Then my partner got killed and the cops liked me for it.

Maltese Falcon

@Chelonaut

So I’m a gunner on a very, very long space cruiser. Right now we’re chasing a small, not very fast spaceship.

Spaceballs

@Author_Balk

I moved to a poor neighborhood from a faraway place. I’ll be upfront. My dietary needs are different than the locals.

Little shop of horrors

[colinfred]

@beowulff

My hot ex-girlfriend and her annoyingly upstanding boyfriend decide to bother me at work.

Casablanca

[Andy_L]

The Blues Brothers is the crazy ex-girlfriend one

[Tibby]

No one got this one: AITA for burning my marriage to the ground in front of a pair of unsuspecting dinner guests?…

“Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

[Shoeless]

@Shoeless

I just got out of prison. I was mostly hanging out with my brother, but my crazy ex-girlfriend kept following us around. Finally, one night after a concert, I had to pretend like I still had a thing for her so we could ditch her. Am I the asshole?

Hint #1: The crazy ex-girlfriend is a minor plot point. (The thread title does say “Poorly describe a movie plot”…)

Hint #2: The concert in question features my brother and myself.

Hint #3: We needed to get the band back together because we were on a mission from God.

[Just_Asking_Questions]

@Tibby

No one got this one:

Oh I got that one. I like the film, and read the play, and think Buirton and Taylor are about the best choices for the roles.

[Andy_L]

Hey, I got that one - as this comment suggests

Poorly describe a movie plot as a Reddit AITA

It’s Western Union with the message that you’re both TA

[Tibby]

Apologies to you both for not recognizing your accurate replies. Powerful film. Great acting. Glad you’ve seen it.

[Irishman]

That explains why I didn’t recognize it.

[Chelonaut]

I don’t get this one:

@iamatractorboy

First of all, to get ahead at work, I killed a colleague who had been doing a little extra work on the side without permission. Then I killed another man in cold blood after I’d captured him. Then I seduced a married woman, and indirectly got her killed. Then I fell in love with a woman who was already in a relationship, slept with her and then saw her die. After she died I told my boss the woman was a bitch. Finally, I shot an older man in the knee after he saved my life. AITA?

[Just_Asking_Questions]

@Chelonaut

I don’t get this one:

Casino Royale.

Bond: M doesn’t mind you earning a little money on the side, Dryden. She’d just prefer it if it wasn’t selling secrets.

And the rest is a quick summary of Bond and Fisher, Solange, Vesper, M, and Mr White.

eta: and in a way, Yes, James you are the AH. You’re a blunt instrument with no empathy nor conscience. It’s necessary for the job, but no one is your friend.