Sattua and MsWhatsit: It can vary so widely.
My “natural” delivery - which had to be induced when my water broke (thanks, I’m pretty sure, to an extremely rough internal exam 2 days before from the Nazi Doctor From Hell, whom I also got stuck with because the good doctor was out of town, and whom I regret hitting… well, more accurately I regret that I only hit her once)…
… led to the cascade of agonizing labor, a wait for nearly 3 hours for ANY pain relief when we found that the default preparation contained a preservative that stood a fair chance of making me stop breathing, a BOTCHED epidural (you’re not supposed to jump and scream in AGONY when that needle goes in) which didn’t work… then forceps and 3rd degree tearing that made pooping pretty much impossible without major intervention, and sitting up similarly impossible for something like 2 weeks (I ate my meals either draped across an easy chair with the plate on my chest, or lying on my side in bed). Once, I nearly passed out in the shower, I was in so much pain.
By comparison: my second delivery was an urgent-but-not-emergent C-section (baby was doing fine, but I was thinking about dying in a few days and for some reason the doc thought that was a bad idea and I didn’t have the heart to argue with her :D). So the epidural was administered more carefully, by someone competent who had actually READ my files… which meant it felt weird but didn’t hurt… the doctor had time to do things carefully without doing any excessive damage (a slash-and-grab c-section might have been very different).
Now, my recovery was helped by the fact that I didn’t have to care for the baby 24/7 within 3 days (she spent 17 days in the NICU)… and also by the fact that obviously I had a pretty major incentive to get on my feet so I could see her, on another floor of the hospital.
But all in all it was a much, MUCH easier recovery. FAR less painful both during the birth and afterward. I took precisely ONE narcotic pain pill after my c-section (in fairness, I had a dose of long-acting morphine in the epidural), while I was on a stiff dose of Tylenol 3 for most of a week after the vaginal.
Oh - and even tho the epidural didn’t work too well THAT time either, the pain was a) less severe, and b) lasted far less time, than with baby #1. The skin / muscle was numb so I didn’t feel the cutting, just very very painful jostling while they were rearranging my innards.
So my takeaway lesson was: “take your time and do it right” c-section > induced labor, “take your time and do it right” c-section > emergency c-section, natural labor >= induced labor (I assume, never having had natural labor).
And if I ever need surgery on the lower part of my body, where epidural is advised to avoid general anesthesia, I’ll say not just no but HELL no because they don’t fucking WORK on me :(.
Oh, and as an aside, if you list your religion as Catholic, the hospitals have sensors in the patient rooms so that they WILL come and offer you Communion.
While you’re in the shower.
Yep, both times, in TWO different hospitals. :smack: Next time I’m in the hospital, I’m listing Pastafarian. At least if they offer me a bowl of macaroni while I’m in the shower, I won’t feel like I’m going to hell for it!
Not that this is on-topic for the thread, just a random semi-funny thought :).