Feel free to add your own (and remember, it’s SATIRE).
“Pssst. Keep an eye on the guy in 4C! I just offered him some pretzels and he refused!”
“Just look at her! Pounding her baby on the back like that after giving him his bottle! We may have to turn this thing around!”
“Um, Sir? I know you must have meant to say ‘excuse me’ when you bumped me as you passed by, didn’t you? Sir?”
Okay, now the disclaimer:
I know we all have to watch out for ourselves during a flight, but how much of an infraction does it take to evoke a fighter escort?
I think the guy just didn’t wanna stow his luggage and became “unruly” because of it.
Maybe he was trying to make it fit under the seat to prove his point and maybe grunted with the effort of doing it?
I’m sure we’ll find out what really happened on the 11 o’clock news, and I hope to hell it didn’t warrant DefCon One.