I say, from what part of London are you?
Rushen is right. New accent now:
Eee really dooon’t knoow what yyimm’s acky-cent eez, ees noot yet oon oof de oofeecial lengveeges oof de Oonooted Nootions, but ees eccepted es loongua froonca in de Uuruupean Uunioon?
Deadcat, you were close. It is more the Wear valley (particularly the pit villages beyond Durham) than Newcastle but close enough.
Translation:
“Golly, please don’t. It appears you are going to throw a large stone at me. That will hurt immensely, please stop it.”
And your is Brummie? or somewhere near?
No, it ish a very common accshent in the European Union. And it’sh not jusht the Irish who like getting schtoned.
Ees froom da Oomsterdoom?
Yesh! We are living in de Nederlandsh, and loving to eat the krokketen and have good timesh, yesh?
Ooo de Neverlaands! Ees tooo never fur mee!
No, and not really. It’s quite hard to express it accurately in writing but there are a few big clues in what I’ve already posted.
jjimm, I could “hear” Dom Joly doing yours but I couldn’t place the country!
I vas talking mit my gut friend Jens and ve were in this pab in the vest of irelant. There vas a session going on mit a hant flute player. I said to myself, Andreas you must purchase one of these hant flutes promptly.
Have you sheen the windowsh?
I vas on my handie mit Jens also talking, und ze hant flute player vas so loud, ve could not hear each ozer. Zis vould never heppen in Charmany.
This is ridikolos!
Tis thread’s hulareeuus mon. Ah canna belayve yoo kud ha soo mooch fun in as lettal tiam ahs this.
Aneeway, ah rekon non a ya weel work owt ma accent (well, meebee jjjim meet). Moost yanks dunna even noo that et eggs-est.
A Jamaican Mackem? 
Or maybe a Geordie…