Youtube links, personal anecdotes, photographs, dogs, cats, birds, ferrets, rabbits, chinchillas, three toed sloths, aye-ayes, cows, chickens, anything goes.
I’ve posted this before, I think, but it’s the funniest one I’ve got. When I was a kid, I sometimes slept in the backyard on a folding lounge chair in the summertime, 'cause it was hot in the house. We had a fair amount of poultry that roamed freely about the place.
One morning I was catapulted from deep sleep into wide-awake panic in about .0003 seconds, when the rooster decided that my chest was the perfect vantage point from which to make his 7 A.M. wake-up crow. It worked. I woke up. I don’t think my heartbeat has ever returned to normal. But you should have seen the chickens scatter when I leapt straight up into the air and screamed.
My Mastiff puppy Bambam got his head stuck under our sleigh bed at 4:45 in the morning a couple months ago - for several minutes there I wasn’t sure I could pull him out!
The funniest thing I’ve smelled an animal do was three nights ago when my husband tossed the remote to me from across the living room and it bounced off the couch, landed on Bambam (not painfully) and scared a fart right out of him!
I have a Mastiff, too, but she’s not a puppy anymore. But even in her elderly condition (she’s 5) she does somersaults in the yard when she gets riled up. Actual head-down, push up with the back legs and go straight over somersaults. In succession. The most I’ve seen her do at once is three, but two in a row is not at all uncommon for her.
I have a cat who occasionally falls over backward when he has a big yawn. That’s funny in and of itself, but even funnier are his attempts to cover his clumsiness by either smacking another cat in the vicinity, or failing that, giving himself a very aggressive bath.
14 years or so ago, my little Eskie (may he rest in peace) snatched up a whole lemon that escaped from the counter during a July 4 lemonade-making session and learned the true meaning of the phrase “bite off more than one can chew.”
The poor thing cowered under a chair, growling at us to keep his prize, but with absolutely no leverage to be able to do anything with it. After 5 minutes or so, he finally calmed down enough to realize that his situation was going to require human intervention and let me pull the thing out.
I still say that if I had owned a camcorder, we’d have been rich.
I lived on Midway for a year and a half. Gooney birds provide unending entertainment. They’re not used to living on land, they spend most of their lives at sea, only coming to land to mate and hatch their young. Their take offs and landings are hilarious, not to mention the intricate mating ritual, in which they dance and prance and make strange noises.
The primary means of personal transportation was the bicycle and there were many instances of bicyclists colliding w/ goonies attempting to land.
Schatzi is my friend’s 18 year old cat who has just moved in to live with Voltaire and I.
Last night he fell asleep while licking his asshole. He actually dozed off with his leg hiked up over his head like a cheerleader showing off for the quarterback.
My dog got his head stuck in a box of crackers, then stood on his hind legs, and used his front legs to take it off. He was only stuck for a second, and was able to get out on his own. Fortunately, I have a picture.
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[li]My white-cap pionus parrot Kyoko was not the sharpest tool in the shed. We had to lock her up in her cage during mealtimes because she always jumped in the food. Once I looked up at her, and she looked up at me, and our eyes met, and she charged straight at her mommy (me) - and right smack into the cage bars. :smack: She actually looked a little stunned. [/li][li] I saw one just today. A coworker brought her dog in. Well, it’s a huge 90 lb chocolate lab. It saw something under my desk. My desk has about a 1.5 foot clearance to the ground, from the modesty panel. Dog saw something fluttering under the desk, and WHOOMPH! Managed to get himself stuck in the gap. But he didn’t stop there. Oh no. He continued wriggling his way under, until suddenly…i had dog at my feet.[/li][li]And yes, my friend’s yellow lab farts and then jumps up barking madly to find out WHO MADE THAT NOISE???[/li][/ul]
It might not be the funniest thing I’d ever seen an animal do, but it did shock us. This was about twenty-five years ago. My family was on vacation, and we decided to take a trail ride on some livery stable horses.
For the first half of the ride it was very pleasant. Then the horse my mother was riding kinda crouched, and its off hind hoof came up and started sritching behind its ear, much to my mother’s consternation, and the shock and amusement of the rest of our family. Once the horse had satisfied its itch, it returned to being a pleasant, docile ride, but my mother didn’t enjoy the rest of that ride, wondering what other behavior the horse might be planning to spring on her.
Two that come to mind are dogs, in different times and places, trotting down residential streets looking quite pleased with themselves. One was happily walking at a nice, brisk pace, tail held high, eyes bright and eager, a spring in his step… and trailing about twenty or so feet of rope. He’d obviously busted out. He had places to go and things to do, damn it, and no silly old rope was going to keep him home.
The other was a dog, also trotting along with that jaunty, confident, quick pace, carrying a paper bag in his mouth. Neatly, by the folded top. He looked like he’d got a list together, counted his pennies, and went off to do his shopping and was now on his way home, quite pleased with the purchases. What made it so funny to me was that when he got near the corner house, instead of cutting across the lawn like you’d expect dogs and children to do, he very precisely kept along the sidewalk to turn the corner. Hard to explain, but that was what topped it for me. This happened in high school, and I still remember it. Both those memories make me smile.
KneadToKnow - I just went into my bedroom to tell my husband your dog with lemon story, and my cat (the one mentioned above) thought I’d come in to capture him and get him out of the bedroom. So he tried to dash under the bed, through the dust ruffle… where his head connected with the metal leg of the bed.
I was about 17-18 and had just come in from shoveling snow. I was covered from head to toe in fluffy snow, wearing a wool cap and mittens. I walked in to the house, and came around the corner by the top of the stairs where one of our cats was standing, minding his own business.
I, realizing I must’ve looked like Sasquatch - snuck up on him, did my best “Arrrgggghhhh!!!” and shook snow off of myself at him.
In one sudden movement he leapt 3 feet up in the air and sideways on an airborne path that led him straight over the stairs. Consequently, he landed at the BOTTOM of the stairwell - making the total leap about 8 feet sideways and about 10 feet down. He landed there, completely puffed up, looked back up at me, turned and promptly puked in my gym shoe.
The best documented funniest thing is the look on Marty’s face (the grey cat in this picture) as he’s being attacked by Cuervo
I go to school at a university located high in the mountains. Instead of tons of pigeons, we have the occasional dove, and tons of ravens. The ravens have developed several ways to keep themselves occupied in the early mornings, before they can dive-bomb students and mug people for potato chips. The best one so far is collecting pine cones, then swooping over the parking lots and dropping them on cars until they can set off an alarm or two.
A few years ago, our cat Dutchess, when she was still an adolescent, was sniffing around a plastic bag that was on the floor from a recent grocery trip. (I guess the ceiling fan blew it off the table or something) She’s managed to poke her head through one of the handles, and then decided that the bag did not hold anything interesting, so she walked off – except the rest of her body was too big to fit through the handle. She realized this when she noticed that the bag was following her, so she bolted. The scary bag monster was right on her tail – literally. Back and forth across the living room room she frantically ran, but no matter how fast she went or which way she zig-zagged, there was the bag monster, chasing her, making a racket as it flapped in the breeze of her flight of terror. Finally she managed to catch it on something, which produced enough drag for the rest of her body to finally wedge itself the rest of the way through the handle. She went and hid for several hours.
It scarred her for life, too. To this day she has a phobia of plastic bags. If I so much as start to make the crinkling sound of opening one around her, she’ll bolt like a jackrabbit.
My daughter’s cat, Achilles, wants to catch flies and moths. One day he DID catch a moth. He managed to catch it between his whitemitted front feet, and he was sitting up on his hind legs, front feet clutched tightly together, obviously wondering how he was gonna eat the moth without letting it go.
All three cats tend to forget that they can not get traction on the linoleum or hardwood floors, and we periodically hear a loud THONK as they try to turn in mid gallop to avoid the various metal appliances we have around the house.
A while back, I cut a couple of sprigs of rosemary for a stew I was making but decided one was enough, and I could use the other to tormant our cats. I scratched it back and forth on the floor until our year-old Amira was fascinated, then tossed it to her. She alternated between little sniffs and backing off to the full reach of her leg to give it little nudges with a paw. Shilla, age six, came along to sniff once, glare at me, and stomp off. When my wife got home from work, I tossed the sprig down for Amira to repeat her performance. This time Moody, our other six-year-old, came along to sniff once, shoulder Amira out of the way, and settle in to eat it. We could hear it crunch in her teeth.
(Moody also eats roses at any opportunity. When we bring flowers in, they go in the most inaccessible spot we have, on top of a tall china cabinet.)
