Post your mundane explicable stories here, and I will bunk them

[Intergalactic_Gladiator]

At the threat of going slightly off topic here, I’m looking to read a book this summer. Would you recommend Hardy Boys and the Pirates of Smuggler’s Cove or Hardy Boys and the Smugglers of Pirate Cove?

[KinkiNipponTourist]

@Intergalactic_Gladiator

At the threat of going slightly off topic here, I’m looking to read a book this summer. Would you recommend Hardy Boys and the Pirates of Smuggler’s Cove or Hardy Boys and the Smugglers of Pirate Cove?

Might I suggest instead Boy Smugglers and the Cove of Hardy Pirates?

[llazzllo]

Many, many years ago, I used to sleep on a twin sized bed. This was after I slept in a crib for a while. For a LONG time…like, years and years. Then, I slept on a full size bed, also for a long time. We’re talking more than ten years. Not the same mattress, but the same size. Now I sleep on a king size bed. Sometimes I sleep alone, sometimes with others, but the size of the bed keeps getting bigger the older I get. My concern is that since king size is the biggest size they come in…am I going to die soon? I can still fit on a toddler bed, if I start sleeping in one will I live longer?

No, if you start sleeping in a toddler bed, it may not extend your life, and it may have harmful side effects; for instance, you may start shrinking. There is only one solution to your conundrum: you must invent a larger sized bed and never sleep in it. You wouldn’t have this problem if you had stopped at a queen sized bed. That’s what I did.

[Autolycus]

@llazzllo

No, if you start sleeping in a toddler bed, it may not extend your life, and it may have harmful side effects; for instance, you may start shrinking. There is only one solution to your conundrum: you must invent a larger sized bed and never sleep in it. You wouldn’t have this problem if you had stopped at a queen sized bed. That’s what I did.

Although sleeping on a queen mattress carries its own set of difficulties…

[Wile_E]

@Autolycus

Although sleeping on a queen mattress carries its own set of difficulties…

But at least it’s fabulous!

[Looey]

@Superhal

You’ve never heard of the Hot Dog Bun Conundrum? By having 10 hot dogs in a package and 8 buns in a bag, you are forced to continually buy dogs or buns to prevent any from being wasted. Iirc, it was scientifically proven as fact back in 800 AD by Pythagoras and Jesus, before the invention of hot dogs. Back then, it was “Ye Olde Conundrume of Condoms to Whore Holes.” Then Murphy Brown stole it and made Murphy’s laws.

Oscar Meyer makes 8-dog packages now. Alas, they’re not my favorite brand.:smack:

[KRC]

So, a few years ago I dreamed that Hitler put a magic curse on me and made me stay as his loyal servant at Rocky Mountain National Park. A few weeks after the dream my father arrived for a visit and guess where he wanted to take me?

Is this the real reason my father shaves off his mustache?

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

I’ve got one from the past that will have you shivering.

So my seventh-grade bio class was dissecting frogs. My first time ever cutting up dead animals for science. So, anyway, one day I come to class and I can’t find the tray with my frog on it. I look everywhere, but it seems like my frog took a hop! Finally, my teacher just told me to partner with a random boy.

This is were it gets creepy. I sit down next to the boy- remember, the teacher had no reason for picking him except maybe that he was there- and look at his frog. And it’s my frog. He denies it at first, but I show him where I carved my name in the tray.

So how did the teacher know? Or the boy know? Or the frog? Or whoever was playing silly games with me that day? Did the frog and I have some deep spiritual connection from me getting personal with his insides? Bunk it, cricetus!

[Autolycus]

In my mind, cricetus rhymes with Dr. Zaius. Why do you hate mankind?

[Wile_E]

@Autolycus

In my mind, cricetus rhymes with Dr. Zaius. Why do you hate mankind?

Thanks, now I have this* stuck in my head.

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh, oh, Dr. Zaius.

*sorry, I tried youtube and couldn’t find a decent clip of this.

[Shagnasty]

@Malleus_Incus_Stapes

I’ve got one from the past that will have you shivering.

So my seventh-grade bio class was dissecting frogs. My first time ever cutting up dead animals for science. So, anyway, one day I come to class and I can’t find the tray with my frog on it. I look everywhere, but it seems like my frog took a hop! Finally, my teacher just told me to partner with a random boy.

This is were it gets creepy. I sit down next to the boy- remember, the teacher had no reason for picking him except maybe that he was there- and look at his frog. And it’s my frog. He denies it at first, but I show him where I carved my name in the tray.

So how did the teacher know? Or the boy know? Or the frog? Or whoever was playing silly games with me that day? Did the frog and I have some deep spiritual connection from me getting personal with his insides? Bunk it, cricetus!

That has happened to many people over the years and the underlying reason can be seen here. Oddly enough, that is another Doper’s wife in that video which adds extra dimensional layer to the overall underpinnings of the universe and how everything is ultimately tied together as both one and none…even the frogs. It is obvious once you know what to look for.