I went through a period in my adolescence where my dreams seemed to come true. It was mostly mundane stuff like what the school was serving for lunch, but I dreamed about the Olympic Park bombing the night before it happened. At least, that’s what seemed to be happening. It is likely I was having repeated deja vu experiences every single day for months.
My sleep patterns have always been inexplicable. They go in phases. I had the deja vu phase, the hypnopompic hallucinations/sleep paralysis phase, the tornado nightmares phase (that one still pops up occasionally), the lucid dreaming phase, the waking up screaming and thrashing phase, just one phase after the next for a period of months or even years, and then I never have that issue again.
Then there’s this, which I think has an explanation, but for decades I had no idea what happened. I used to belong to a Pentecostal church for a couple of years. When I was about twelve, I had a friend with severe mental problems and a holy roller mother, a sweet lady but a real nut. She had a lot health problems and was always watching and visiting faith healers. It was in this context that she had a daughter I am sure went on to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My friend had tried to kill herself when she was nine and pushed her friend down the stairs. But her mother didn’t exactly follow the medical model of mental health. Every Sunday she would pull the girl up to the front of the church and everyone would lay hands on her and they would try to pray the mental illness away.
I was, at the time, extremely devout, attending church every Sunday, communing with the Holy Spirit, regularly speaking in tongues, all that sort of thing. So my friend’s Mom was always pushing us together as I was ostensibly this older, wiser friend. One night my friend and I were sitting at the top of the stairs in her darkened house, and she said, “I think the devil is here.” We ended up freaking each other out, so we ran downstairs to the kitchen. We told her Mom what was going on, and her response of course, was, “Yes, clearly there’s a demon here.” So she starts spouting Bible verses. We are all sitting at the table reading the Bible. I can’t for the life of me remember the verse she was quoting, but we were listening to some preacher on the radio, and the guy starts quoting the exact same Bible verse.
Enter Holy Spirit, I remember I was shaking so hard my head hit the table. Then my friend starts freaking out. Her words became incomprehensible. She ran into the bathroom and started convulsing. She ended up unconscious on the floor while her mother was urging me to cast out the demon possessing her daughter. So there I am, all of 12 years old, laying hands on my friend and saying, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” When I touched my friend it felt like something moving under her skin.
Eventually my friend resumed consciousness, remembering nothing. We were so freaked out at that point we ended up sleeping on the kitchen floor rather than going upstairs to that demon-infested hallway.
(This was about the point where my Mom was like, “Nope,” and pulled me out of the church.)
For years after that, I still found myself unable to explain what happened (and to this day I cannot explain what it’s like to speak in tongues or feel taken over by the Holy Spirit – the closest I’ve ever gotten to that feeling as an adult is doing EMDR, so I have to believe it’s an altered state of consciousness.)
Then one day, long after I had renounced Christianity altogether, I had a series of grand mal seizures.
And I was like, “Oh.”