Toss Giraffe $2 million so that he’d say that I had the most hilarious answer instead of spending the last 14 hours trying to think of something that he’d otherwise notice enough to quote in a response.
Invest 10 million in a safe trust fund that generates an annuity that I’ll be able to live on in perpetuity. I’ll make sure that the management of the money is completely out of my hands so that no matter how foolishly I spend the rest of my fortune I’ll always have something to fall back on.
Once that is out of the way, I’d buy up as many bill boards as I can and put up “Legalize It” (marijuana) advertisements.
When I die, after my friends get a comfortable chunk of inheritance, the rest will be donated towards paying off the National Debt.
This is pretty easy for me.
I would take exactly half of the bring home and start a “No soldier has to re-enlist because of money problems” Endowment. I figure I could help a few thousand soldiers out . . yea . .
Then I would buy a Ferrari Enzo and a Bell 430 painted all black and travel all over the world that is after my flying lessons. Once that happened, I would get a job at Walmart as a door greater. I would be the happiest, friendliest door greater in the world with my jet ranger parked in the parkinglot.
Yep, that’s what I would do.
Shucks, I would do two more things.
Invest heavily in the Walken2008 campaign and upgrade every doper’s netflix membership!!!
I’d go crazy at the bookstore.
Count me in as another Walken investor! Wouldn’t it be great if every time he gave a speech, he did a little dance with it?
This explains a LOT about modern business practices. 
I’ll tell you what I’d do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
I’m going Fishing…
Man you don’t need a million dollars to do two chicks at the same time.
Man you don’t need a million dollars to do two chicks at the same time.
:dubious:
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
**Peter Gibbons: ** That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.
There we go, that’s better
10% net into my new charitable foundation. First item of business is building/buying a hotel for local agencies to manage as a homeless shelter.
10% net into my bank account. This will help me volunteer with an aid agency (Oxfam, IRC, ICRC) for a couple of years while I househunt on Spain’s Atlantic coast for a courtyarded villa on the sea. Pay off loans and bills. It’ll also buy me teeth, surgeries, and a master’s degree.
Everything else split in thirds. Each third to a different money management company (IOW, Price Waterhouse gets 1/3 to manage), and each company will split that into safe, not safe, and medium safe investments. 10% of all gross investment proceeds will be plowed back into my charitable foundation.
After a few years of volunteer work I will retire to my now re-habbed villa which will serve as a free (including air fare and travel expenses) “hostel” for aid workers and their families.
Then I spend the next couple of years trying to figure out how to write a will that will continue my “hostel” in perpetuity, include a hefty endowment, and leave a bunch of money to any future nephews or nieces I may have.
Option B is putting all that money ($150M after taxes, if I’m reading all the press right) into $100 bills under my bed. I have no idea exactly HOW I’d spend $3.75M a year, but I’d figure it out somehow, I’m sure…
Make an appointment with a financial advisor and then sit down and gleefully pay off every last cent I owe.
Then, nice house and decent cras. Most of my money would go to travel and art. I’m not a big jewelry or car person.
i would never turn on another furnace…
[ul]
[li]Pay off my mortgage[/li][li]Set up the kids trust funds for college[/li][li]Bribe daughters who live out of state (both pregnant with my future grandchildren) to move closer to home[/li][li]Endow the non profit I work at, ensuring all children in need could receive therapy at no cost[/li][li]Buy Mr. Adoptamom a huge bass boat and a camp on the coast[/li][li]Outfit every foster child in the state from head to toe in the outfit of their choice[/li][li]Set up a foundation to help foster parents with expenses[/li][li]Hire a full time cook and housekeeper - we need Hazel![/li][li]Somehow set it up so that I get hot off of the press copies of the latest books from all my favorite authors delivered to my door[/li][li]Set up a foundation to help elderly with their prescription medication[/li][li]Buy back the house Mr. Adoptamom built for us that we sold when we hit a really rough financial patch and move it into the middle of the country with a pond or creek on the property. [/li][/ul]
I’m sure I’ll think of more, but that’s a good start.
We had this chat just yesterday.
First, I would make sure my immediate family were comfortable and debt-free. I’d set up trust funds in some way for the kids for college educations–I wouldn’t give them a big chunk of money just to play with, I think I’d want to pay for college or for world travelling, or a business venture.
For us, I would buy a large chunk of mostly wild land, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. I’d want a thousand acres that’s mostly untouched forest–and in a perfect world would include a piece of coastline-- near a rural university where Mr. Armadillo could teach. I’d have a small farm with a couple horses, a small flock of sheep and goats, a few cows, a yak (!), a bunch of dogs. A kitchen garden.
I’d build myself a ceramics studio with a very large kiln, and a raku pit on the property. Mr. Armadillo would have a computer lab with his own server and way more computers than any one person needs.
We’d pay off our small debts, travel the world for a while, then come home and live in our chunk of the planet. I’d hike and trail ride and sleep outside a lot. Read and run my business from home. Raise kids.
Sigh.
Buy my parents that house and boat they want on whatever Caribbean island they want, and set them up with funds so my dad can start his boat tour company (something they’d love to do).
Pay off my brother’s house and buy him a brand new car. Maybe some money if he still wants to start up his own garage to fix cars.
Take my grandma on an awesome vacation, pay any outstanding debt.
Buy my best friends some random presents. Take them on vacation.
Buy a house somewhere warm - probably near the parentals.
Buy an apartment in a big city - London, NY, etc.
Buy a cute Benz.
Buy a bunch of really expensive camera equipment.
Invest after initial splurge.
Travel and never work again - maybe selling some of my awesome photos if I feel like it, and giving that money away.
Random charitible donations.
I’d open up an online off-shore gambling room.
And if I can’t do that, I’d stake about $80 million in a brick and morter casino, and try to get other investors in on it.