My sisters tell me about how bad it is when preachers are people-pleasers rather than God-pleasers. If God sorting it out involves eternal torment then I’m worried about that. (Though as I recently said I’m starting to doubt that the Bible teaches eternal torment)
Well, if you want to believe in your sisters over two thousand years of theological discussion, may God have mercy on your soul.
I followed the path you are on when I was young. I questioned if God was real and really condemned people to eternal punishment. It caused anxiety attacks and depression as well as migraine headaches. My life was miserable. I pray for an answer and none came. I quit church and tried to forget the whole scenario. When I went to college I studied theology and philosophy with a major in psychology. My first break came when I was forced to read the whole Bible and found many things were not as I was taught. One of the main scriptures:
Luke 17:20: Jesus said:
“The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”
This was a puzzle to me until I suffered a heart attack and a near death experience. There I was surrounded by Love that could have only been from God. Later I did talk to Jesus and learn from Him.
After that I knew that God is within us in the form of unconditional love waiting to be discovered. We discover God when we discover ourselves. Learning to love one another as Jesus taught. Everything was clear now and I understood. I am happy, calm and peaceful knowing that hell never existed. It was a creation of man to keep the congregation in control. The Bible was written by man for men. When I asked about the Bible I was told the only thing important is the love chapter.
I finally wrote a book about my experience. Want you to know you are safe and secure and here in the physical to learn to love yourself and others.
…at home, undiagnosed by a medical professional, and woke up fine the next day.
I love you. Even if you don’t know what happened to me.
I only know what you have extensively written about the event. If what you wrote aren’t the facts of the matter, I will reevaluation my position on your self-diagnosed-not-confirmed-by-medical-professional-and-woke-up-in-own-bed-the-next-morning(all according to your own words) “heart attack”.
I think we’re all in the same boat here, you included.
I know exactly what happened to me, it is not uncommon.
Many people dream.
I have no way of knowing that, and from what you’ve posted, neither do you.
Parishioner: “Father, do you ever have doubt?”
Priest: “Oh my, yes. I have periods of crushing doubt; wondering if God’s there. And if he is, if he cares about mankind. And if he does, if he cares about me. Or is it perhaps some tragic joke; have I been wasting my life in his service. Is there really any purpose to life at all.”
Parishioner: “My goodness! What do you do when that happens?”
Priest: “I get up and have breakfast.”
Know who else had a heart attack like that?
Fred Sanford, that’s who.