This is that levity you use to defuse tense situations, isn’t it? Be sure and let me know how that works out for you sometime.
Hey, sometimes you ask a question and hope people answer it instead of pretending like they heard another question. Suck it up.
I hope you never visit one of the more politically incorrect joke threads we have on this site. They may be too delicate for a fragile flower like you. Please be sure to have someone else click on topics and vet them for appropriateness. I wouldn’t want you to faint having seen a dirty word like “butt”
I’ve thought of a point I don’t think anyone’s addressed, and wanted to make sure your family has considered, YogSosoth. Do your parents, and your sister, and even you, understand the legal vulnerabilities you will assume if you get a dog? If this dog ever bites anyone, or destroys anyone’s property, your parents and/or your sister, and even possibly you, depending on the circumstances, could be legally liable to the tune of a crap-ton of money. Given that it sounds like the dog won’t be properly trained or socialized, the odds of this happening go up pretty dramatically. Consider the following scenarios:
There are visitors to your home. The dog, for whatever reason, bites. Or, the dog simply jumps up, and causes said visitors to be injured in your home.
The dog gets out. (Don’t say it will never get out…accidental releases happen All. The. Time. Also, dogs can jump far higher than you might think. I’ve seen my personal dog clear a 6 foot fence). The dog causes a wreck, damages someone elses property, or bites or otherwise injures a person.
In these scenarios, and in far too many more to detail, various combinations of people resident in your home could be held liable. Given the right circumstances, there’s no guarantee that homeowner’s insurance will cover it, either. Do your parents understand this? That if this dog injures someone, or damages someone’s property, there’s a very good chance that they could be held liable? And that if this dog isn’t properly cared for, the odds of such an occurence go way, way up?
If you’ve done this before, and the dog was fine, and you can recognize if a dog is in distress or not so you’re confident it was fine, and you know how much work a dog is, why did you start the thread?
The problem isn’t a dog alone during the day. The problem isn’t that it is an outside dog. The problem isn’t the concern for lack of socializing (we can’t all give our dogs the life saje’s dog has). The problem is all three. The dog will be outside all day, alone, and all night, alone. You anticipate minimal interaction along with all of that. But the part that’s rankling most people is that you’re just so ok with it. If you had come into this thread asking “how do I make this dog as happy as possible in a difficult situation” you would of gotten the help and attitude you were expecting, because someone at home was giving a shit about this animal. I think it’s nice that you’re trying to buffer your sister’s clueless attitude. However you don’t sound like you’re actually on the animal’s side, but trying to find a way so you don’t have to hear about it later when your sister drops the ball in her care for this dog. You don’t want this dog to end up impacting your life, so how can you be protected by finding a minimal care dog that is ok with little human interaction.
Who is qualified to help you? People who have and care for dogs. What do you think we’re going to think about this?
This is what you want to hear.
All a dog needs is food, water and shelter and it will stay alive. The dog may also need medicall attention from time to time - regular vaccinations, or treatment if it gets sick or injured. All of this is optional if you don’t really care about the dog and just want a yard ornament or occaisional plaything. If the dog dies, you can always get another one, they are cheap and someone is always trying to get rid of one they have decided they no longer want.
If you care about the dog, then things like taking care of its needs beyond mere survival become important. Things like ensuring the dog’s needs for companionship and mental and physical stimulation are taken care of.
I am one of those bleeding-heart animal lovers that owns a dog because I like them and I believe that they add to my life. I believe that I have a (self-imposed) responsibility to take care of them in the best possible manner that I can, and that does include some effort on my part. Obviously your family feels differently.
Good luck with your sister’s dog.
Pugs can’t be outside dogs. Any kind of flat-faced breed is a bad idea as they do not regulate heat well and can easily get heatstroke, but especially pugs. With pugs, you even have to be a bit careful walking them on hot days – my (very athletic and energetic) pug literally collapsed after about 15 minutes on a hot day and I had to quickly carry him home to get water.
FWIW the temperament of pugs is also ill-suited. They are mellow dogs a lot of the time, but their breed was developed as a companion breed and they are often very clingy. Great dogs, but only if you want a close friend.
Yes, we’ve thought about that before. With our previous dog, we were careful to make sure it was kept away from strangers. It was never off its leash. When it got out on occasion, we would chase it down before it did anything to anyone. Luckily she just wanted to sniff trees and pee in different bushes, so she never went up to any strangers. Like I said, she only bit in certain instances. She was usually friendly. I’ve had friends over who the dog didn’t know and she was very behaved with them
I started the thread, if you recall, to raise issues that could be troublesome and that my sister hadn’t considered. She’s 23 and the last time we had a dog, she wasn’t even in high school. It was the family’s dog and she was never the main caretaker. Now that she is, and will be paying for the costs, I wanted her to know what was at stake. The last time we had a dog thrust upon us by the neighbors (still have no idea why my parents took in the dog) and we had to deal as best we can. This time we get to pick a dog so I wanted her to be informed about her decision
I think here’s where most of you go off the rails. Remember, I used to like dogs before I made this topic. I wanted to do the best for this dog in our situation. I’ve mentioned that I hoped that maybe I’ll spend more time with the dog and less on gaming. However, I am brutally honest when I say that it probably won’t happen. So its not about me being ok with it, its simply me accepting the situation as is. When you and many other dog people replied, you refused to accept that situation. You refused to believe that you couldn’t change that a dog was coming, or change my dad’s allergies, or my mom’s fear, or my resentment that I’m going to be forced to care for an animal I know I am unable to. No matter how much you hope that we would suddenly be a dog family, we’re not going to be, you’re just going to have to accept it and tailor your advice to that reality.
I was hoping you people would answer the question posed instead of pretending I asked a different one. If my OP had been, for example, “Is our family suited to have a dog?”, then you would have been well within your rights to say no and give me a million reasons why. If my OP had been “I don’t like dogs, how do I change that?”, you would have been well within your rights to tell me what to do and how I should treat this dog. But my OP wasn’t about all that. I just wanted a list of issues I could bring up to my sister who is getting the dog in order to discourage her, and failing that, a suggestion on the kind of dog that would be least harmed given our situation.
Yeah, when I wrote that I was thinking more of someone who wanted a low maintenance(ish) dog that wouldn’t need much exercise, but totally blocked from my mind the part about living outdoors. Even though my neighbors have outdoor only dogs (that bark CON.stant.ly :rolleyes:) I just can’t wrap my brain around having a pet that you don’t really want to spend as much time as possible with.
But then again, I like animals far better than I like most people.
Here’s what you don’t seem to understand, YogSosoth. Getting a dog is not a “situation”, it is an act. You continually use the passive voice to avoid taking responsibility for your own actions, or even to avoid your sister having responsibility for her actions. Getting a dog does not “happen” as if by divine inspiration. Your sister is choosing to get a dog. Opting to spend all of your time playing WoW does not “happen”, you choose to spend that time gaming. If you’re okay with your choices, and that’s what they are – choices – then great. But we are acting as if you have control over yourself, over what you advise your sister, how you spend your time, because you DO have control over those things. If you say “I don’t want to spend time with a dog that I’m not choosing to get and don’t approve of,” fine. If it’s even “I really don’t care if the dog suffers because WoW is more important to me than some dog”, then fine, I don’t agree with you, but that would be brutal honesty.
Sure, there are things that can’t be changed. Nobody here has said “Your dad needs to suck it up with his allergies and the dog should be inside no matter what.” Nobody has said “Your mom needs to learn to like dogs or she’s a bad person.” What was said was, given all the factors, it’s impossible to recommend a dog to you or your sister because one doesn’t exist, and it seems like (based on your description anyway) that the most prudent thing is not to get a dog. You do not like that answer, I get that, you claim to be unable to change that, fine, but it is the “brutally honest” one. My advice remains the same: do your best to tell your sister that there is no type of dog that will thrive in that situation. For the same reason, I’m not telling you “Well tell your sister not to get a dog, but if you get a dog, get X” because it’s an irresponsible message to give.
If beyond that input, you cannot change it, then fair enough. At least you would have done the right thing. Can’t really say the same for your sister, but them’s the breaks.
That’s what I’m hoping and praying for; that the dog is smart enough to dig itself out and go find a home where it’ll actually be cared for. It’s highly likely that the dog will dig itself out in desperation for pack contact. It’ll either get picked up by animal control, or best case scenario, some bleeding heart dog rescue person will find it and re-home it.
All of which is miserable for the poor dog and makes me want to cry. Instead, I’m going home – for lunch and to walk my dog because eight hours straight confined in a crate is too much – and I’m not only going to give my dog a bite from my lunch, I’m giving her extra hugs and scritches, just because of this thread. So, if this thread has done any good for anybody, it’ll be my dog who benefits from all the extra love and attention she’ll get because I feel so sorry for all the sheltered, abandoned, and ignored dogs out there in the world.
Have you asked your sister WHY she wants a dog? I’m really not seeing the reason for getting one.
You’ve said no one in the house other than your sister wants a dog. Is she typically this inconsiderate of the people she lives with?
You’ve asked this board to recommend a breed of dog which will be happy to be left alone in a yard and ignored most of the time. Posters have tried to explain to you that what your sister wants simply does not exist.
Dogs react in many different ways to boredom and neglect. In today’s society, there can be legal ramifications from the actions of a bored and neglected animal. You mentioned your Chow bit people - does your sister realize she can be sued if her dog escapes and bites someone? Are your parents prepared for visits from Animal Control and/or the police after repeated complaints from neighbors about a barking dog?
You’ve said you aren’t willing to talk to your parents about asking your sister not to get a dog, because you don’t think that’s fair to your sister. Do you really think it’s fair to a dog - who is a living, feeling, intelligent creature *totally dependent on the good will of a human for the quality of its existance * - to subject it to what could very well be a miserable existence on the whim of your sister?
Its a long thread so I don’t mind that you missed the reason. She’s wanted a dog for years, but most recently, she said that she wants this dog because it would help her be “more family oriented”. As she describes it, taking care of the dog would hopefully make her want to stay home more and not go out as much.
And yes, I told her she was crazy for having that reason
She’s not inconsiderate. My parents don’t actively want a dog, but they are not standing in her way. She’s wanted one for years, and she’s always had to push it back for others. I think she’s thinking that this time, she’s due
Not “happy”, but “least harmed by”. That exists, because like people who have actually answered the question mentioned, different breeds require different amounts of socialization. Some are more adaptable to our situation. That is the kind of good advice I was hoping for. Not “just don’t get a dog”
By the way, a friend of mine, jokingly maybe, I don’t know, said I should just overfeed the dog so it’ll get fat and lazy so we don’t have to exercise it as much. I told him the people on the internet might freak out. He has 2 dogs, malteses, so I’m sure he’s sorta half-joking. But yeah, if you don’t have advice to give me, you can lighten up the mood with something like that and not wish death on us
Yes, we’re prepared for that. The chow was never left alone with strangers. Also it didn’t bite except in certain situations, so we just stopped putting her in those situations. And if it barks, we’ll bring her inside
No, its not fair, but I’d rather be fairer to my sister than the dog.
See, this is where I think you may be barking up the wrong tree (pun intended). Don’t get me wrong: I totally understand that when it comes down to it, your human family comes before your pets, and although I’m an animal lover, I would adopt the exact same philosophy (even though I do consider our pets part of the “family” in a more-inclusive sense). If it comes down to fundamental questions of well-being, there’s no contest.
But what you are talking about here is elevating your sister’s whims above the welfare of a living animal. Many people in this thread have stated that there is no ideal dog for your situation: an animal may survive in the circumstances you have outlined, but it will not thrive or be happy. Without a dog, your sister will be disappointed, but it will not impact her health or well-being. If she likes dogs and wants to be around dogs, she can volunteer at a rescue, or if her goal is to spend time with family, she can make an effort to do that, short of getting a dog of her own under circumstances where it will lead a less than happy life.
Besides: fairness goes both ways. Is your sister being fair to you, to your parents, to the household of which you are all members, and to the potential dog? No, she is not. You have mentioned (and forgive me, I’m paraphrasing) wanting to respect her by letting her be an adult and make her own decisions: not going behind her back to talk to your parents, and so on. I can appreciate that, but she needs to show you and the household respect as well. By proposing to do something that will cause inconvenience to the other members of the household she lives in, not to mention the (so-far nonexistent) dog, she is not behaving as an adult.
I think it behooves you, for your sister’s benefit as well as the dog’s, to put your foot down. She has made the decision to live in the household, which means following the household’s rules. If three-fourths of the household is against getting a dog, then the majority rules, as well as compassion for the dog, should apply. Period. No dog.
I don’t really believe its a whim. She may not be an ideal dog owner, but we’ve had a dog in the past and she’s wanted one for years. She was mature enough to realize she couldn’t handle it, and thus pushed back her hurdle to getting one. Now I think all of the hurdles are gone and she feels she can dedicate time to it, maybe not enough as some people have wanted, but enough time to the point where its not abuse.
And we have to just disagree about the thriving and the happiness. Nobody in the house is a dog hater, we don’t want to wantonly cause its suffering. We just don’t think its abuse to treat it the way we’re going to treat it, based on personal experience and the experience of dog owners in our lives. I think the dog will be fine, and happy, just not super dog heaven happy
Being fair to me is irrelevant. I don’t have to help her with the dog, and I have enough going on with my life that I can safely ignore it. I’m not worried about her fairness to me, even though I’m a little annoyed. But ultimately I don’t think it’ll be that bad for me. As for my parents, I’ve said that while they aren’t actively jumping for joy at the fact of getting a dog, she asked them and they said yes, so they are not opposing it. If anything, I was shocked that my dad agreed to it, so I knew that the last real hurdle was down. People have to stop thinking of my parents as being anti-dog. They are really meh-dog. If we get one, we get one, and they’ll get used to it like they did our last dog. So I disagree that she’s showing any kind of disrespected towards us. If anything, by delaying getting a dog for years, she’s showed a lot of respect and its about time she collected on some of that capital
I really can’t do that. First, we don’t have a household rule that we can’t have pets or anything, most of us just don’t actively want one. I’m the only one who thinks its a huge mistake and don’t want her to get one, my parents have already been convinced. And second, I am not going to put my foot down, I don’t need her hating me, and I would rather she learn that she’s a bad dog owner (if she is) by herself. And the dog will be fine, we’re not dog eaters. Even though my dad has eaten dogs back in the old country, we haven’t eaten one in a while, and I certainly haven’t, though I want to, but I’m not going to eat this one. Unless I was dying of starvation, like literally dying. Then all bets are off
This. There is no such thing as a naturally solitary dog. Dogs are pack animals, highly social by nature.
But there’s gotta be less sociable breeds. Not all breeds are the same
Breed personality is a convenient myth. Stereotyping. Dogs in general want a pack, of other dogs, humans, and/or other beasts. They are emotional to the point of neurosis. They eat trash, small game (such as bugs), and feces. These are pretty consistent traits.
Google “aloof dog breeds”. There are attractive dogs like the Finnish Spitz and the Shiba Inu among them. However, aloof is usually a descriptor of their behaviour towards people outside their family, not their pack members. Also, the qualities that make these dogs “aloof” also make them less willing to please their owners. If you aren’t considered their pack. they have no incentive to try and please you. Also known as being stubborn and hardheaded.
If she’s determined to get a dog, please, please tell her an adult is the way to go. A puppy needs far more nurturing than your family is willing to do. No dog is better than any dog, in these circumstances, but a puppy would be tragic.
StG
A dog that isn’t sociable isn’t going to suddenly get social with your sister, especially if she only shows up to feed and walk it. It might as well be a feral dog who happens to live inside rather than outside your fence.
She sounds remarkably like one of my college roommates. She went all “I want a dog!” on us and got a puppy at the shelter. She, too, liked to go out a lot in the evenings, and thought a dog would make her more, I dunno, grounded.
It did not. Long story short, the puppy got a treatable illness (mange) which she ignored, and ignored, and ignored. End result: puppy was euthanized after only a few short months in her “care.”
Moral of the story? The dog will not, necessarly, “be fine.”