Pro basketball opinions

In My Humble Opinion
1

It is my humble opinion that. . .

Reggie Miller is a Ferengi.
Jamal Mashburn is aptly named.
If Shaq ever learned how to shoot free throws, he’d be dangerous.
Carl Malone needs to get back on Rogaine.
Gheorghe Muresan is rather endearing in a Cro-Magnon kind of way.
Jason Kidd is the whitest black guy I’ve ever seen.
Tim Duncan twin arm afros have got to go.
Patrick Ewing is the sweatiest man in the NBA.
It would be more entertaining if Marv Albert announced his sex life instead of the game.

2

[hijack]

Biggirl, did you get my e-mail?

[/hijack]

3

. . . .

Someone needs to show Sean Bradley how to use a fork. . .
. . . Preferably Shawn Kemp’s.
If Iverson ever learned how to play defense, HE’D be dangerous.
Scottie Pippen should have quit while he was ahead.
Charles Barkley needs to un-retire.
Peter Vescey needs to shut up.
Bob Costas is a cyborg.

4

Jeff Van Gundy’s dark eye circles and receding hairline get worse as the season progresses.
If Shaq spoke without mumbling, his post-game interviews would be infinitely more interesting.

5

Zone defenses should be legal. I don’t feel the need to baby Shaquille O’Neal. He makes a zillion bucks a year, I think he can be expected to handle a 1-3-1 trap.

6

Jason Williams is the 1 who needs to work on his D.
If he can’t learn to defend soon, he will no longer be a media darling.
But I gotta disagree that he is the “whitest black guy”. That honor has to go to Steve Martin in The Jerk.

7

YES!

I agree re Jason Williams: talented, flashy, GREAT passer. Horrible defender, and also shoots too much.

Jeff Van Gundy looks like a bassett hound.

Sam Cassell looks like a character on Enemy Mine. (Actually, I’ve never seen the movie, but my friend Gary said this. And I once mentioned this in passing to another friend who HAD seen Enemy Mine, and HE said Gary was absolutely right!)

(From a columnist) Oliver Miller would be a star if he could only say two words: “I’m full” :eek:

8

You want to see basketball the way it was supposed to be played?

Go watch your local high school game.

The way Nesmith intended it to be played.

9

-Vince Carter and Gary Payton stole Karl Malone’s Rogaine.
-If Anthony Mason and Isiah Rider keep up with their legal problems, they’ll have to play with those home-arrest monitoring ankle-bracelets.
-The Wizards won’t be good until they change their name back to the Bullets (or rid themselves of the albatross that is Juwan Howard’s contract).
-If Danny Schayes or Joe Klein are still in the league, then overexpansion is still a problem.

10

Danny has retired and is now a part-time comentator with NBC.

Joe, on the other hand, was just traded with Jermaine O’Neal to Indiana for Dale Davis.

11

I believe it’s Joe Kleine.

I told a coworker that if the Knicks won the NBA championship, I’d get a Jeff Van Gundy haircut.

The NBA made a smart move by cutting back on timeouts. There are way too many for the coaches to use at the end of the game.