Over the past week, for no sensible reason whatsoever, my brain has been trying to make a list of consumer product names that also function as complete, grammatical sentences. Usually this starts happening during the commute to work.
So far, the list is a pretty short one. Really short. Opal would probably object to its glaring deficiencies in the length department, if you know what I mean. But here it is then, in its entirety:
[li]I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter — a butter substitute[/li][li]Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific — a brand of shampoo sold in the 1970s[/li][/ol]
It’s the first item that got me started on this. After a few minutes’ thinking about it, I remembered the second item. Then, I hit a wall. Can anyone think of some more?
Defunct products are perfectly fine, as you can see. Non-American products would be welcome as well.
I’m afraid I have to disqualify Shout! (a laundry detergent supplement), and others like it, as being bad form. Any grunt from Marketing can take a single verb and slap an exclamation mark on it, making a cheap imperative sentence. That doesn’t do it for me. Too low-brow. The sentence qua product name must have at least one subject and one verb.
(Unlike some of my sentences.)