I never thought I could get so excited about a stapler but that one made me run out to Staples and buy them all.
This little number is the answer to your dreams. It has the air velocity of a jet engine. Awesome machine.
Are you suggesting he carries that around with him?
Well, other than the fact that it permanently mounts to the wall and probably takes a 220 circuit, I dont’ see a problem with that.
I’ll second (third? fourth?) that. I have one of those massive old metal staplers, because it staples more than two sheets of paper at a time (I believe it actually IS a Swingline). As for the big-ass accounting type staplers, we have two in our department that work right now. I think there are about 100 scattered around the office that don’t work. When the big-ass stapler staples stuff successfully, I feel like going out and buying a lottery ticket.
(I totally sympathized with Melvin from “Office Space” when they took his stapler. Stop paying staff, move them to the basement, but you do not touch someone’s working stapler.)
ETA: Forgot to add staple removers to the list. They usually remove half the staple; now you get to yank the other leg out. Or just rip all the papers apart.
I love those high velocity hand dryers. It’s so neat to watch my hand skin rippling in the breeze. 
They really work. But they are loud enough to make you think about using ear plugs.
The HP DesignJet 120 “wide format” printer. It works with regular paper, but not photo paper, for which it was designed. I tried everything imaginable to get photo paper to feed through. It would grab the paper and pull it in a little way, then it would jam. I’ve tried gently pushing the paper as it feeds, and nothing could make it continue.
It turns out, you can’t use HP’s own photo paper; it’s too thick and stiff. You have to use another brand, that’s a little thinner and more flexible. It took me months and months to figure this out, with no help whatsoever from HP.
Those huge skinny rolls of toilet paper in public restrooms. You have to use three times as much as normal paper; I doubt that anyone’s actually saving money with them. And shouldn’t toilet paper be easy to tear?
And shouldn’t it be thick enough that you don’t have to fold it over about five times to avoid having it come apart while you’re using it?
And as another side note, I was recently in a public restroom where the toilet paper was almost the thickness of a paper towel, had no perforations and absolutely refused to tear. What’s up with that?
Maybe they installed a roll of duck tape by mistake?
Use LOTS of litter, your cats won’t be able to claw through to the plastic. Works with my two cats, anyway. I think those liners are the best thing since sliced bread, especially the “sifting” liners. I don’t have to scoop anymore.