I will fully and freely admit to being an old cis male.
My point of view is (leaving off some nuances)
- If you have an outie and you derive pleasure from your outie, you’re male.
- If you have an innie and you derive pleaser from your innie, you’re female.
- If you have an outie and it feels wrong, you think you should have an innie, you’re trans female
- if you have an innie and it fieels wrong, you think you should have an outie, you’re trans male
- if you have an outie and derive pleasure in observing innies, or if you have an innie and derive pleasure in observing outies, you’re straight
- if you have an innie and like other innies, or if you’re an outie and like other outies, you’re gay.
- if you like both innies and outies, you’re bi.
I admit - I have a hard time conceiving of “non-binary”. I cook. I sew. I have done cross stitch. I sing. I like musicals. I have no doubt whatsoever that I’m a man. Just because many of my habits and pleasures do not coincide with the societal “standards” for “manly” or “maleness” doesn’t make me any less male.
That being said, I do understand that people who identify as “non-binary” have emotional pain, and I will respect that. I might not understand your pain, but I realize that you are in pain.