I suggest the Grinbar for happiness -
It’ll be an SI unit, so the standard Grinbar is the amount of happiness increase caused by giving a lollipop to a selected “reference toddler” who must be kept at the International Bureau of Weights and Measures in Paris.
In common usage, it might work something like “Pittsburgh gained 3.8 gigagrinbars as the Steelers advanced to the Superbowl.”
What’s your unit?
Sex appeal from 1 to 10 boners.
I believe the standard unit of measure for evilness is the Kilo-Nazi.
From Futurama we learn that coolness can be measured in Mega-Fonzies.
I like the milliHelen - the amount of beauty needed to launch a single ship.
The unit used to measure badassedness is the picoNorris
And the related unit, the Chan: a measurement of how much butt was kicked.
Remember, 2 dimples = 1 cheek, 2 cheeks = 1 butt, 10 butts = 1 dojo.
what a great opportunity to link a fine thread from the achives called where is smithereens
We could measure stupidity in milli-DarwinAwards.
Which would be the inverse of units of smartness, like how Hz=1/s. I’m not sure what that would be though. Maybe centiEinsteins?
The microBush for measurement of how horrendous a thing is.
“Damn, that party sucked ass. Must have registered at least 45 microBushes.”
The unit for impatience is known as the fidget.
The reference unit is a 30-year-old man in line behind an 80-year-old paying by check at a supermarket.
I propose that the fidget should increase on a logarithmic scale.
As long as I can remember, I’ve used the Cubic Shitload to define the most that you can have of anything.
My scale:
a bit ( < one)
one
a couple
a few
some
a lot
a whole lot
a load
an ass load (Southern term, I think)
a shitload
a metric shitload
a cubic shitload
FFF - Food Fart Factor. A composite unit of three digits, each digit 0-9 expressing:
For example, broccoli is 857, cabbage is 788
One Hell: The amount of fun you had at a really good party.
Example: That was One Hell of a party.
Hell: The excruciating pain of a bad party.
That party was Hell.